Randy McCormick

Randy McCormick http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072 Funeral Industry Articles by Connecting Directors member Randy McCormick en Copyright 2009, Connecting Directors Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:29:52 GMT Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:29:52 GMT Will anybody listen? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000593#00000593 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000593.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> It has been awhile since I have felt up to blogging and I hope to get back to my normal routine soon, but an email from my good friend Kathy Jackson inspired me on to share a few thoughts.   My questions are many but I sincerely hope that everyone offering education and training courses for the funeral professional considers her words carefully.  Indeed, many minimize some of the areas she addresses, but that is mostly due to lack of understanding.  There is a message here, but will anybody listen.   I applaud the School for Nursing that took the chance and hired Kathy to teach their students.  We all need to hear prophetic voices like hers as Keynote speakers at the Conventions we attend.   We need to be challenged.  We need to be educated.  We need to be able to offer her as a speaker when our funeral home sponsors a local hospice group or other such event.  Her message is timely and important to each of our businesses.  Following, with permission I share Kathy’s letter to me - with you - and with the world through Ryan’s Connecting Directors network.   Kathy's Letter: The question always loomed large – “how does a person with an M.A. focusing on Transcultural Death and Mortuary Rituals and a Ph.D which focuses on the Funeral Industry in North America apply her knowledge?”  That really translates into `what kind of employment opportunities exist?”  The truth is that I always envisioned finding a niche for myself in the funeral industry. I believed that with insight gained in the field over a four year period about funeral service, funeral ritual, into trends and the relationship between the bereaved, funeral director and the clergy that there would be a position that would draw on this knowledge. In some respect, this is true.  Independent funeral home owners seem to place a lot more value on my knowledge base than corporately owned funeral homes such as SCI.  I was naive enough to believe that I might even offer valuable information and support to funeral service programs because I not only understand but believe in and support the work with bereaved families by funeral directors every day, all across North America.  I believe change in the industry is inevitable for many reasons including changing religious affiliations and the much discussed recession.  The buzz words which we are bombarded with are secular, humanist, and even post modern creep into our discussions.  What do people want and need is the big question on the tip of everyone’s tongue and how can the industry deliver this and survive fiscally.  I envisioned myself as the bridge between the public who are desperate for education about their own deathways, the choices which they can avail themselves in regards to funerals, memorials, the final disposition of their body and how they are going to get not only their body but their loved ones to a place they need to be. It is all about transition, going from here to there, a rite of passage.  There are as many ways to accomplish this as there are dead and bereaved. Each funeral is unique in many ways because it symbolizes the life of the deceased.  I envisioned teaching funeral service students about how people die, what is important to them spiritually so that they might have a better understanding of how the bereaved will understand the death of their loved one and furthermore what funeral rituals they might choose. I did not find a niche either teaching funeral service students or in the industry.  Rather, I have spent the last four months teaching nursing students about how people die in their own culture and transculturally.  They have learned what is important in life can have a huge impact on the process of dying, the initial moments following death, the care of the body post mortem, subsequently in their choice of funeral rituals and the way the utilize the funeral industry. For most students it was a journey into the unknown and they grew with each and every tradition which we discussed.  Their vocabularies increased exponentially as they mastered terminology and ideas from Hinduism, Buddhism, Native Canadian, Eastern Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant, Judaism, Islam, and  Humanism. Also, they learned about how our understanding of death differs according to our cultural beliefs and impacts on the way we treat the body.  Another lesson they learned was how to distinguish mourning which is culturally determined from grief which is very personal and may clash with what is expected of the person culturally.  In fourteen weeks, my sixty students grew as persons, embracing new ideas and reformulating preconceived ideas about death and how they understand and relate to death issues, their own and those of others.  Death education is very important for nursing students because they are on the front lines with the families that we will meet only a few hours later.  Likewise, I see this type of education as being invaluable to funeral service students and professionals, who need to be aware and understand in a multicultural world the life values and practices of all their clients. Suffice to say that I supported my lectures not with films from exotic places but with guest speakers from all the traditions we discussed. These are real people, with real beliefs, who graciously gave of their time to speak openly and candidly about dying, death and mortuary rituals.  I believe that every funeral service program, every post grad program, every funeral home should be conducting mini inservice programs that will allow funeral directors to broaden their knowledge about the communities they serve.  I conclude by saying that teaching transcultural death and dying to the nursing students was a rewarding experience.  I grew in my understanding as they grew in theirs.   The patients they care for will receive care which addresses not only their physical needs but also embraces their spiritual needs. Funeral service professionals need to gain this type of insight for many reasons, but the most important reason that I can think of is, to feel confident in how they understand and meet the needs of transcultural families from the moment they walk through the door. Sponsors: <a href="http://www.funeralhomeaccounting.com"><img title="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" border="0" alt="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" /></a> <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="DCAVT-farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/DCAVT-farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="DCAVT-farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a> randykathy jacksonwill anybody listen Thu, 23 Apr 2009 13:54:12 GMT Why We Do What We Do http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000445#00000445 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000445.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The Holiday Season in funeral homes is a bittersweet experience.  The wounded families of loved ones, who have been unable to hold onto life, succumb to the numbness of reality.  In the midst of ‘Joy to the World’ they traverse the mall buying clothes for the funeral.  If someone had torn off their arm, the bleeding would be a testament to other jostling shoppers … but because their heart has been torn out, no one can see the wound.  By force of habit the clerk who has just sold the benumbed widow a dress – follows up with a ‘Have a Merry Christmas’ before tackling the next in line at the checkout.   During holiday times funeral professionals are hard pressed to do much more than ‘be there’ for those they serve … and that is O K … that is all we are really compelled to do.  Why then do you find an inordinate number of funeral professionals who volunteer, donate to charities and provide special services to the community at this time of year?  There is no single funeral director who knows the entire scope of what is needed in the broad spectrum of the grieving community, but as parts of the whole we pull together to ‘do what we can do’. Connecting Directors offers a vehicle for sharing experiences … some successful … others not so successful, but turning failures into learning experiences. As an important addition to the social networking landscape of the internet, Ryan is gently (and patiently) guiding us towards new ways of communication.  I have no questions at all that in the next few years even I will explore the many options of online meetings and other things available.  I am still amazed that there isn’t a token membership fee to help him cover expenses – I fully expected one this year. Anyway, I digress … back to my point.  ‘Why do we do what we do’? I can’t speak for you, but I can speak for a 20 year old tradition at our funeral home.  Back then, inviting the families served during the year back to the funeral home for a remembering time was pretty radical.  Now it is the norm.  Many inventive names have been attached to the service ranging from ‘Blue Christmas’, ‘When Christmas Hurts’ and  ‘Lost Christmases’ to name only three.   Our family began providing that gentle service of music and readings in our chapel every night of Christmas week.  It was time consuming yet rewarding.  Other funeral homes asked why were killing ourselves for people who had already paid their bill. After ten years we settled on providing the service on one night at the beginning of December.   It was still a lot of work but our attendance grew to encompass the entire community.  Local talk shows and news media covered this little family giving back to the community in our small way … small to us … but huge to the rest of the world.  We now have people who call us about the dates.  To them, our offering has become as much a highlight to their Christmas experience as watching ‘What a Wonderful Life’ or ‘Scrooge.’  I celebrate that reality.  I know that this is probably ‘old hat’ to many, but I am going to share the service outline I drew up almost twenty years ago.  By necessity it had to encompass elements with nondenominational proportions and it has changes as the community changes.  I offer this format to the struggling new funeral home owner out there to consider for next year.  I offer this format to those who have always attended a similar service at their local church and never thought of bringing it home to their chapel.  I offer this format to my ‘competition’ and hope that they best me in all that I do because it is not about me … it is about providing good within the community we serve.  We call ours the Candlelight Christmas Service.  Insert your name in the blanks since this format works best when the funeral home staff make the offering and have the presence.  CANDLELIGHT CHRISTMAS SERVICE WELCOME.  My name is …………… and I am honoured to welcome you this evening to share with us in what is for you – and for us at the Funeral Home – a Christmas service of personal and loving remembrance.   Please stay and join us for a time of fellowship and refreshments following the service in the Fireside Room, which is down the corridor to the right. Many of you are here for the first time.  Some of you have come again because you find that this evening is a good way to begin the Christmas season. May tonight be a shared time of healing and renewed hope.  Each of you personally – and all of us together – are here in this season of loving, to honour the ones deeply loved who have died to this shared life here on earth. There will be an empty place this year at your Christmas table.  And your loved one will not be there -- to receive the present you have bought, or intended to buy - or would have liked to buy - to put under the Christmas tree.  We hope that our time together tonight will give a new meaning to Christmas for you.  – This evening we light a candle to remember those who make a difference in our lives.  We reflect together on the meaning of this season, as we sing three of the familiar Christmas carols, and, as we - within the theme of Christmas - honour and remember the ones we love who have died.  Song: Away in a Manger REFLECTION ...  Christmas is colour and lights, and evergreen trees, and gift giving and receiving ... Yes, and Santa Claus and reindeer, and story-times.  It is good food and family and friends, coming and going, but the heart of Christmas is something more ... and it is that something more that we need to share tonight:  The Story of Christmas is the beginning of a human story and its ending includes death and fear and loneliness. At the heart of the meaning of Christmas is the meaning of Love.  It is, first of all, a very human story:  It is the story of the birth of a child within a small family, in very humble circumstances, and in an isolated corner of the ancient world now embroiled in turmoil. The Christmas story is the beginning of that human story. The difference in this human story is:  Jesus, Born in Bethlehem lived a life that expressed the Creator's love for us, and became a way for us to love the God of Many Names and to love one another. The Story of that Love did not die... Love in our human terms is a flowing stream in the mystery of Creation ... And the Creator’s love for us as humans and for all created things is inclusive of all religions. The primary colours at Christmas are Red and Green.  Red is for the Loving that gives of itself -- in shared and suffering sacrifice - and Green is for the Evergreen, to remind us that the Creator’s Love for us is eternal ... and, that our own loving flows beyond the bounds of death. In giving love, we are true and real, giving from ourselves and receiving from others. Tonight near the end of the service we will remember... those we love… who in death, have left us. Our loving goes on for them, as does their love for us. We will light candles to honour that on-going love, And we will remember each of them. May what we now do together and alone, draw us all closer, for we share the common bond.  Death, held within the mystery that is life, links us in the truth that love does not die.   Song: The First Noel PRAYER May the loving God of many names, Help us find times of happiness and of laughter this Christmas; Give us some peace and strength when we are feeling lonely and sad. Give us time to remember Christmases past, when those who are gone from us were loving and laughing and caring and sharing with us.  And through the tears that may come, help us to trust that the ones we love are near to us ... in their love.  And may that pain that is present in this Christmas be eased with a new Peace and a new Hope as the New Year begins.  Amen. Song: Silent Night FUNERAL DIRECTOR 1: Music is very important to our family.  As long as I can remember, it has been part of our family’s Christmas.  Remembering loved ones who have died has also been part of our time together.  As a small boy, I can remember hanging Nanny’s watch, Grandpa Nielsen’s wallet, Granny’s key-ring, and Grandma Peggy’s Bingo Markers up beside the angel – We never knew some of the family members, but each Christmas we heard the stories of who they were as we hung the decorations.  Year after year, their memory lived on through that simple act. FUNERAL DIRECTOR 2: Now we come to my favorite part of this service ... lighting the candles honouring the ones who are no longer with us.    As we call the name of your loved one, please move to the side aisles; Bring the candles you were given.   Come to the front where …………….., will assist in the lighting of each candle.   Place your candles on the stands ....Take all the time you need to nurture your private thoughts.....Please be mindful of the coverings on the floor protecting the carpet from wax drips. Organist/harpist/String Quartet/Taped music softly till the end of the lighting which is read from information people provide at the door and from funeral home records. FUNERAL DIRECTOR 1: We light a candle for (Nicholas) and for all those who have died with no one at all remembering them this Christmas.  (Candle then lit by firefighter, armed services personnel or community figure – mayor etc)_ We light a candle for our funeral home family, including ……..name all funeral home staff losses and all directors participate in the lighting … (This also lets people see the way it works so they feel comfortable when their loved ones’ names are called.)   Funeral Director 1 and Funeral Director 2 share in calling people forward with phrases like One: Would the family of “N” please come forward. Phrase Two: Tonight we remember “N”. Phrase Three: Let us join together to remember “N”. Final:  Would all those come forward to pay tribute to special loved ones whose names have not been called. BLESSING -  Silent Night played quietly (not sung) as lights dim to leave the lit candles as the only source of light in the room.   After appropriate time – bring up lights and quietly move to the reception.  This is what has worked for us.  Please feel free to adapt it, change it and make it work for you.   Blog Sponsored By: <a href="mailto:jreilly@funeralhomes.com?subject=Please%20contact%20me%20for%20additional%20information%20regarding%20FuneralHomes.com%20%28via%20ConnectingDirectors%29"><img title="HorzbannerforCD.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/HorzbannerforCD.gif" border="0" alt="HorzbannerforCD.gif" /></a> <a href="http://www.cooperschoffcpa.com/" target="_blank"><img title="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" border="0" alt="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" /></a> <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com/" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a> funeralindustryhomerandymccormick Mon, 22 Dec 2008 05:00:00 GMT Aspire to Inspire Before You Expire http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000433#00000433 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000433.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Is there one among us who does not want to leave a legacy?  Some feel that leaving a legacy equals amassing a huge sum of money for distribution in a humanitarian manner.  Others feel that it entails physical things that will live on to shout their name through the ages.  Yet others feel that iconic works of art … paintings, sculpture or books … define the true meaning of creating a legacy.  Let me paint a picture for you that I hope will be meaningful in some small way.   Aspire to Inspire Before You Expire By: Randy McCormick   “There was the answer.  It was staring him right in the face all along.  He had questioned his purpose in life and he had argued his worth within the grand scheme of things.  Now there was naught to do but lie on the hospital bed and wait for the inevitable as machines hissed and beeped, monitoring his last hours.  Had he made a difference?  Had he done something worthwhile?  The comfortable cocoon of memory cradled him like a security blanket as he closed his eyes and slipped into a lucid dream. “He dreamed of his children.  He dreamed of the times he had spent with them … so many times … walking in the leaves, throwing the ball, watching their baseball games, laughing at their teenage antics and sitting talking until the sun set.  He saw the faces of his friends pass before his eyes as they raised a toast to life or played cards and wondered together about the mysteries of unknown.  He rehearsed his tried and true mantra of religious conviction that had been forged in his own childhood, and which he had shared openly with his family.  “His grandchildren and faceless generations still unborn joined in a circle, holding hands around him as he looked towards their faces with wonder and gratitude in his heart.  His granddaughter’s grandson’s grandson held out a tiny hand and offered thanks for the opportunity to simply be.  The good works of future generations sprang forth as possibility … all because he had lived and loved. “Yes, there was the answer.  Love.  Not all wrapped up like a gift under the Christmas tree, but wrapped up in feelings that needed to be carefully tended.  Those acts of love that he had spent time nurturing over the years now revisited him in the time he needed them most. The time he questioned his legacy.   “Love … the greatest legacy that can ever be considered. Love … that grows …  like flowers in the spring. Love … that makes us want to sing.”   Blog Sponsored By: <a href="mailto:jreilly@funeralhomes.com?subject=Please contact me for additional information regarding FuneralHomes.com (via ConnectingDirectors)"><img title="HorzbannerforCD.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/HorzbannerforCD.gif" border="0" alt="HorzbannerforCD.gif" /></a> <a href="http://www.cooperschoffcpa.com" target="_blank"><img title="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" border="0" alt="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" /></a> <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a> funeralindustryrandymccormick Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:41:20 GMT Pictures Show That We Lived http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000416#00000416 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000416.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> I was rummaging through storage boxes recently when I happened across a shoebox filled to overflowing with mementos of my grandfather.  The box was faded blue and yellow and was topped by his obituary as it appeared in a local newspaper in 1971.  Underneath laid his death certificate and his birth certificate.   Funeral Industry: Pictures Showed That We Lived By: Randy McCormick I looked at the birth certificate and read the details that identified his parents, his birthplace and the date of the event. It was an ancient document, half the size of the tabletop, but even in this fragile state, it still shouted out a certain 1885 official status.  The death certificate was miniscule in proportion to its larger-than-life dark cousin.  The smaller document, barely 8”X11”, gave the statistical details of the death of Arthur George Harrison. The two documents were piled atop bundles of photos.  A young man stared at me formally from under a bowler hat … the same young man in a one-piece knee-length bathing costume, doing muscle poses with friends. A faded photo of at least a dozen people gathered around an ancient couple all in black … a prairie steam tractor … a young woman standing on the running board of a model ‘T’ Ford … a baby in a pram, seemingly being babysat by a goat.  Over the next hour I imagined many scenarios as the scenes unfolded.  Many pictures showed up of events that I would have liked to be able to attend.  I loved looking at the pictures and I was swept away as I imagined being there.  I knew my grandfather, but I felt curious about who the others were.  Nothing brings a family history and memories alive like pictures. While it's great to know the name of your great-great grandmother, seeing her face in a photo makes it personal.  I looked through almost three quarters of the photos before I, like the afternoon light, started to fade. As I replaced the treasures in the tired old shoebox, I was careful to put the two official documents back on top.  My grandfather’s obituary notice covered them both. As I closed the lid I felt fulfilled, yet sad.  I had perused hundreds of pieces of paper in the past few hours … but to what purpose?  Memories of my grandfather stirred my soul, but I came to an important realization that afternoon.  A birth certificate tells the world that you were born … a death certificate tells the world that you died … but pictures tell the world that you had a life.  I vowed to organize my own photographs in some semblance of order so that one day, if a grandchild or great grandchild, stumbles upon my life-in-a-box or my life-on-a-disc, they will walk with me for an afternoon and have a sense of who I really was.  I leave you with this thought … hopefully you have lots of family pictures and hopefully you know who's in them. Unfortunately, it's not unusual to have a picture and be clueless about it. Maybe you received some photographs from "grandma's attic", or from a newly discovered third cousin.  Perhaps the subjects are unknown as well as … when and where … the photo was taken.  With some detective work, maybe you can figure out who's in them. Find out and make notes on the back.  I urge you to affirm for yourself that your long-deceased relatives led vibrant lives.  Don’t let them be tossed out as "lost souls" and have them become flea market fodder!    Blog Sponsored By: <a href="http://www.coopershoffcpa.com" target="_blank"><img title="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" border="0" alt="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" /></a> funeral industryrandymccormickpictures Fri, 14 Nov 2008 18:29:47 GMT You Can Observe a Lot By Watching http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000407#00000407 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000407.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Life is a wonderful adventure and the anticipation of what is around the next corner is exhilarating.  Not only do we, as funeral professionals, have the excitement of celebrating our own realities, we have the unique gift of being privy to the personal stories of those who come through our doors.  We have the opportunity to look at their family life-snapshots and see what has worked and what hasn’t worked for them.  We can mould our own philosophies through our years of watching the ways in which others approach life.   Funeral Industry: You Can Observe a Lot By Watching By: Randy McCormick   Day by day we do the best we can to survive whatever life throws at us.  We grow up under the guidance of our parents … we are educated under the tutelage of our teachers … then suddenly we are on our own and we search for mentors of another sort.  We have to choose whether … to become a productive contributor to society or not … to choose a life partner or not … or to raise children or not.  No one can tell us what to do.  It is all up to us and there are no rule books.  There are no longer lists of multiple choice boxes to check off.  We must decide for ourselves and that can be a daunting task if it weren’t for the fact that we have the ability to watch and learn from the experiences of others. Navigating life is like planning a vacation to a foreign destination.  You know that there will be some elements that are familiar, but you are also aware that there will be unknown aspects to the journey.  When planning a trip, the first call you make is usually to a travel agent … or you may choose to Google your destination.  Those are but two ways in which you try to learn all you can about the area—read up on it, talk with people who’ve been there and learn from others who have made the same journey. Once you feel prepared, you have a much better idea of where you’re headed, and what to expect when you get there.  The vacation becomes reality. Over the years we have all heard unique stories of success.  Equally, we have heard the saga of failures and heartaches.  Ours is the opportunity to glean the best of both and therein lays the opportunity for personal growth.  In the case of your life journey, the advice of others is always worth listening to.  Observe the things that work for them.  When someone asks ‘what is your philosophy of life’, the funeral director, above all other professionals, should be able to answer with credibility … and never forget that … you can observe a lot by watching. Blog Sponsored By: <a href="http://www.cooperschoffcpa.com" target="_blank"><img title="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" border="0" alt="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" /></a> funeral industry Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:18:39 GMT Laughter… The Instant Vacation http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000402#00000402 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000402.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> At a convention a few months ago, I had an experience that I will not soon forget.  I had worked hard at seeing all the products on the floor and on the final exhibit day I was trekking the only aisle I had missed.   Yes, it was the last day.  Most booths were unmanned, some were packing up early and some were socializing across the aisle, making plans for the evening.  I approached a booth that I had absolutely NO interest in and had already determined to head back to my room to join my wife.  Out of nowhere came a friendly greeting.  “Randy, I was hoping I would have a chance to talk to you.”  (Like a good little conventioneer, I was wearing my name tag). Funeral Industry: Laughter… The Instant Vacation By: Randy McCormick   I was greeted with a smile that was warm and genuine and within fifteen seconds I was relaxed and open to ‘the pitch’.  I listened and to this day marvel that our funeral home is even considering the service I was introduced to that late afternoon in an almost abandoned exhibit hall.  The service was “Director on Call’ and the representative was Tracey Patterson. Tracey must have been exhausted after days of repeating the story of ‘Director on Call’, but she treated me like I was the first person she had shared with that day.   I was overwhelmed.  I missed this years Convention in Orlando due to commitments at home.  If I were there I would have, no doubt, be joining in the spontaneous laughter that seems to burst freely from booths on the exhibit floor.  Conventions are fun and anyone who says otherwise isn’t attending for the right reasons.  When you are having fun, the educational, networking and product aspects of the gathering all fall into place.  Since my experience with Tracey Patterson, I always walk around the exhibit hall looking for smiles.  To evaluate this on your own, just walk the aisles of any convention and count the number of smiles you see in the exhibits. When I am greeted with a smiling welcome at a product booth I am open to hearing the story the representative has to tell.  I can be tired and grumpy and my feet may hurt, but an enthusiastic smile and greeting always has me asking for more.  If I am not given eye contact at a booth or am greeted with indifference I usually don’t even bother with the product.  It's no surprise that people who are the top performers for their companies are the ones who enjoy their convention work.  Results of a recent survey of 150 convention salespeople found that only 12 percent of those individuals enjoy working conventions, which means 88 percent of the salespeople aren't happy about the job they have to do.  If salespeople do not enjoy working exhibits at trade shows, it's not surprising that they re not as effective as they could be. Listen for the ring in the voice of the next supplier you meet.  That ring will tell you a lot about the product you are going to be introduced to … and if not the product … then a lot about the experience you are about to have.  Take an instant vacation from your routine with the ring of laughter. PS – NO she does not know I am posting this Blog and NO, she didn’t pay me to share my story, but professionals like Tracey Patterson are what this business is all about. Blog Sponsored By: <a href="http://www.cooperschoffcpa.com" target="_blank"><img title="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" border="0" alt="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" /></a> funeralindustryrandy mccormcik Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:09:45 GMT I Could Care Less! http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000391#00000391 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000391.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> How is it that in this modern world of words, we surrender proper English for the meaningless?  Do we purposefully misuse words to make a point?  Perhaps it is the media who encourage us … or maybe the lyrics of the music of the day play a role.  Language errors for the sake of emphasis can be powerful but they can also make us look like uneducated fools.   Funeral Industry: I Could Care Less By: Randy McCormick   Having a good command of communication skills is important for the funeral professional in this day and age.  Agreed, we need to have good listening skills, but we need to be able to speak and write properly also.    Because English is such a complex language, it is fraught with traps that we all frequently fall into. Here is the list of things my grandmother taught me about the words most easily confused.  She gave me the list as I left for University in the 60’s.  Perhaps you will be able to clean up your act, as I did.  Because of the things that ‘Spell Check’ allows to fall through the cracks, I have ‘Google enhanced’ her words of advice. I could care less … Using this one really makes you sound uneducated. When you say “I could care less” you are saying “I do care a little … so feasibly I could care less”. Most people, when using this horrific sentence mean to say “I couldn’t care less”. Literally … This one is incredibly annoying when it is used in the wrong way. Literally means “it really happened” - therefore you CAN NOT say “he literally flew out the door”. Saying someone “flew out the door” is speaking FIGURATIVELY - you could say “he figuratively flew out the door”. Literally can only be used in the case of facts - for example: he literally exploded after swallowing the grenade. If he did, indeed, swallow the grenade and explode - that last sentence is perfectly correct. It would not be correct to say “she annoyed him so much he literally exploded”. Practice / Practise … In US English, practice is used as either a verb (doing word), or noun (naming word). Hence, a doctor has a practice, and a person practices the violin. Bought / Brought … Bought relates to buying something. Brought relates to bringing something. For example, I bought a bottle of wine which had been brought over from France. The easy way to remember ‘which is which’ is that bring starts with ‘br’ and brought also does. Buy and bought start with ‘b’ only. This is one of those difficult ones that a spelling checker won’t catch. Your / You’re … Your means “belonging to you”. You’re means “you are”. The simplest way to work out the correct one to use is to read out your sentence. For example, if you say “you’re jeans look nice” expand the apostrophe. The expanded sentence would read “you are jeans look nice” - obviously nonsensical. Remember, in English, the apostrophe often denotes an abbreviation. Its / It’s … As in the case above, the apostrophe denotes an abbreviation: it’s = it is. Its means “belongs to it”. The confusion arises here because we also use an apostrophe in English to denote possession - except in this case; if you want to say “the cat’s bag” you say “its bag” not “it’s bag”. “It’s” always means “it is” or “it has”. “It’s a hot day.” “It’s been fun seeing you.” Two / To / Too … With a ‘w’ it means the number 2. With one ‘o’ it refers to direction: ‘to France’. With two ‘o’s it means “also” or refers to quantity - for example: “There is too much money”. A good way to remember this one is that too has two ‘o’s - i.e., it has more ‘o’s than ‘to’ - therefore it refers to quantity. Desert / Dessert … This is a confusing one because in English an ’s’ on its own is frequently pronounced like a ‘z’ and two ’s’s are usually pronounced as an ’s’ (for example: prise, prissy). In this case, desert follows the rule - it means a large stretch of sand. However, dessert is pronounced “dez-urt” with the emphasis on the second syllable - i.e., something we eat as part of our meal. To make matters worse, when a person leaves the army without permission, it is spelt desert. So, let’s sum up:  desert (pronounced dez’-it): dry land … desert (pronounced dez-urt’): abandon … dessert (pronounced dez-urt’): yum yum! - remember, two ’s’s because you want second helpings! Dryer / Drier … If your clothes are wet, put them in a clothes dryer. That will make them drier. A hair dryer also makes hair drier. Chose / Choose … This is actually quite an easy one to remember - in English we generally pronounce ‘oo’ as it is written - such as “moo”. The same rule applies here: choose is pronounced as it is written (with a ‘z’ sound for the’s’) - and chose is said like “nose”. Therefore, if you had to choose to visit Timbuktu, chances are you chose to fly there. Chose is the past tense, choose is the present tense. Lose / Loose … This one is confusing. In this case, contrary to normal rules of English, the single ‘s’ in loose is pronounced like an ‘s’ - as in wearing trousers that are too loose. Lose on the other hand, relates to loss - for example: “I hope we don’t lose this game”. A good way to remember this is that in the word “lose” you have lost the second ‘o’ from loose. If you can’t remember a rule that simple, you are a loser! So … have I made your head swim?  Do you feel that you are back in Grade Seven?  Have I put you to sleep at your computer like the preacher and the bad sermon?  I hope so, because we all need to clean up our act when it comes to our use of everyday English.   Don’t even get me stated on the receptionist who answers the telephone … “How can I help you?” … it annoys me so much that I may literally explode!   Blog Sponsored By: <a href="http://www.cooperschoofcpa.com" target="_blank"><img title="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" border="0" alt="cooperschoffcpa400x75.gif" /></a> randyfuneralindustry Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:14:23 GMT Life is Not Fair - Get Used To It http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000378#00000378 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000378.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Bill Gates made a presentation to a graduating class many years ago that was rooted in the classic statement ‘Life is not fair, get used to it.’  As funeral professionals we see the practical applications of the unfairness of life repeatedly.  The recent retiree who suffers a heart attack just as he and his wife are preparing for their dream vacation … the young couple, reeling from the shock of a stillbirth …  the young mother, devastated by news of incurable breast cancer … the young man, cut down in his prime by a drunk driver.  Yes, we see it all.       Funeral Industry: Life Is Not Fair - Get Used To It By: Randy McCormick     We are all created with the ability to choose, but some things fall beyond that realm and we cry from the depths of our souls ..."God, how could you let this happen?"  This planet is not the safest place.  Someone might shoot us. Or we might be hit by a car. Or we might have to jump from a building attacked by terrorists. Or any number of things that might happen to us in this harsh environment called Earth, the place where God's will is not always followed.  All we can do is bemoan the fact that life is not fair.  We absorb our beliefs from our parents, teachers, life experiences, books, etc.  Some of what we have come to believe may sound right, but in reality our views might be too narrowly defined or inaccurate. We have bought into many ideas and concepts that distort our thinking and actually work against us.  Many of us have learned untruths that cause us to live the role of the victim, either of circumstances or of our past. These erred beliefs cause us to cry out in pain, "Why me, God?" As a funeral professional, I believe that any survival system we choose has to be founded on some form of belief system.  If we are crying out "Why me, God?" we must believe there is a God-of-Many-Names out there who hears us.  We wouldn’t call out if we didn’t hope for an answer.  To survive the tragedies we encounter in our offices on a daily basis, we might want to consider calling out … "God, this is going to be an interesting journey. I can hardly wait to see how you are going to bring good out of this one. I trust you will!" As funeral professionals, the events in our lives affect the lives of others in one way or the other.  The truth is that we all tend to have a very small world view. Our world revolves around us and because everything in our personal world affects us, we forget that we are not the cause and effect of everything. The reality is that we are one of millions of human beings making decisions every second. Every one of those decisions affects the world, while only some of them affect us directly. When we choose to believe that ALL the events in our life are good for us, even the ones that seem frustrating and painful for now, we begin living reality.  As the cliché expressions says … ‘God only knows why we are going through these circumstances.’ Hold on to your firm foundation of faith as you enter your workplace each day.  The couple working through the anguish of the stillbirth experience will translate into something positive eventually.  That transformation definitely won’t be today but, in my experience, it will happen.  Embrace the mystery of your life’s journey. funeral industryrandymccormicklife Thu, 09 Oct 2008 14:25:24 GMT It Is Never To Late To Become What You Might Have Been http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000375#00000375 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000375.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Realizing and achieving your full potential is a lifelong journey that takes you from the depth of despair to the pinnacle of success. You probably want to make a meaningful difference in people’s lives, but how do you do that? You likely want others to see that you are passionate about your work, but how do you separate passion from blind ambition? Your success should be due to your talent and dedication and service to the families you serve.  If you are truly committed to your calling in the Funeral Profession you are well on your way to realizing your full potential.   Funeral Industry: It Is Never To Late To Become What You Might Have Been By: Randy McCormick   Have you ever listened to that negative inner voice that we all seem to have? It is the little voice that conditions us to expect the worst or to never try new approaches.  My grandmother used to say it another way – ‘with nothing ventured, little is gained’.  It is the safe approach because … if you never risk and try things you never expose yourself to the chance of learning from failure.  Not only do you miss out on learning from your the failures, you ultimately miss out on success.   Why?  Because you never took any chances!  So much for the safe approach. Those who go on to great success in business are the ones who are not afraid to try new things. The ones who seize opportunity and don’t let go until they have wrung every drop of possibility from it.  With today’s pressure to achieve, the thought that you might not be living up to your potential is a frightening one. And of course, this fear makes it even less likely that you will achieve what you want to. I believe that in this modern world, it’s easy for to fall into a way of life that you don’t actually believe fits ‘who you really are’.  Start a new journey by changing how you think.  When you change how you think … you transform what you think and what others think of you.  Leave behind the old negative patterns and beliefs and start living a fuller life with clear goals and less worry and stress.  Research some smart, simple ways you can deal with everyday challenges, such as time pressures, stress, mistakes, relationships, and work.  Be your own best ‘self-help’ friend.  Absorb every book on the subject you can find in the library. Choose to live your life in the way that is most effective for who you are and what you would like to achieve and you will soon find that it is never too late to become what you might have been. funeralindustryrandymccormick Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:03:01 GMT Lord, Keep an Arm Around My Shoulder and a Hand Over My Mouth http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000373#00000373 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000373.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> It isn’t easy sometimes.  The temptation is always there to rush in and rescue.  How do we prevent ourselves from rushing in and compounding the problem? How do we avoid BECOMING the problem by virtue of the things we say? As funeral professionals we all have walked these paths and asked these questions.  If we haven’t, we may already part of the problem.   Funeral Industry: Lord, Keep an Arm Around My Shoulder and a Hand Over My Mouth By: Randy McCormick When someone asks your opinion, do you know how to respond without sounding like a know-it-all or offending the person with honesty? On the other hand, when you aren’t asked for advice do you know how to ‘zip it’ and just listen?  Be a good listener. You can't fully respond in an appropriate manner until you understand the nature of the problem. Don't cut the person short, and don't jump in with a quick fix. Give the speaker time to carefully explain the dilemma. Ask questions for clarification if needed. When the person stops speaking, ask what he or she would like from you. It may be advice, or it could be something else, like a comforting shoulder to cry on or the opportunity of merely venting to someone who will listen. If your advice isn't asked for, don't give it. The most effective mentors give challenging advice involving tasks rather than advice that solves immediate problems.  I remember a young funeral director who came to me with a problem involving her boss.  It would have been so easy to try to solve her problems by offering her a job but that would have been telling her that problem solving involves running away.  When, after mutual discussion, she agreed to sit down with the man and ask him why he was treating her this way, her world changed.  It turned out he hadn’t dealt with an apprentice before and was ‘toughening her up’ in his words.  That is how he had been mentored.  He immediately changed his approach. As a listener, always remember to protect confidentiality. Always seek out a quiet area where no one can overhear when someone asks you to listen. Someone who is distraught may not realize the impact of his or her words on others, so be careful about what you listen to, and where. If the boss I referred to had heard his apprentice sharing with me, she would have lost her job immediately.  When the two of you cannot be overheard, encourage the speaker to share his heart or mind, and be prepared to respond in kind.  Follow up if necessary. If you can tell that the person is truly stressed or emotionally confused, encourage him or her to seek professional help. Then follow up later to make sure the person received the needed help or guidance. You may even want to ask the person, "How are you doing?" to show your concern and to help that person not feel brushed off. Finally, don’t forget that no matter how opinionated you are, your view is just one among the potential of many. When solicited, clearly, objectively, and gently offer your opinion for whatever it is worth, but don't be disappointed if the person doesn’t follow your advice.  Understand that some folks need to let off steam or may decide to collect several opinions before taking action. Listening to people vent or bitch is best met with a closed mouth and open ears.  Remember this in the lunch room.  Listening to people who ask for advice is best met with careful consideration before offering any ‘pearls of wisdom’.  Remember this in private conversation.  The hardest task of all is the former.  Being a good listener is just that … being a good listener   <a href="/members/connectdirectors/ecommerce/00000001/CDcom-Mouse-Pad.html" target="_blank"><img title="productofthemonth.jpg" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/productofthemonth.jpg" border="0" alt="productofthemonth.jpg" /></a> funeral industryrandymccormick Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:56:54 GMT A Boomerang That Doesn't Work Is Just a Stick http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000370#00000370 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000370.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> In the funeral home setting, solutions to problems are required immediately if not sooner.  There is a certain sense of urgency to the myriad situations that occur with even the most simple of arrangements. Like the Perpetual Motion Machine that fails to take into account the reality of ‘friction’, you can end up wasting a lot of time if you don’t focus on the facts.  Approaching solutions by carefully researching the facts is the easiest way to avoid a pile of frustration.  Focusing and avoiding time wasters is imperative.   Funeral Industry: A Boomerang That Doesn't Work Is Just a Stick By: Randy McCormick   The daily tangles we are called to unravel for our families and for our staff can be repetitively uninteresting, but the ‘new twist’ to the ‘old story’ might just be a cry for creative input.  If you are constantly dealing with the same problem it might be time to stop fixing the immediate and look at the root of the issue. I can remember a situation I was having with a local cemetery.  After many complaints from families about insensitive service, I did some homework.  It turned out that a new cemetery manager had temporarily stepped in while the regular was on sick leave.  The new guy was head of the tax collecting department! That administration misjudgment almost set the cemetery operation back twenty years, but until I realized that there had been changes at the top, I was doomed to the frustration of patching up daily communication problems.  The solution was easy once the problem had been analysed. I know each member of this group has a story to tell.  Problem solving can be as creative as you choose or as simple as a phone call, but solutions require wisdom.  Just for fun, ask yourself the following questions.  How many times have you implemented a solution that upon application was completely unworkable?  How many times have you let frustration influence your answers to everyday problems, resulting in personal chaos?  How many times have you lost perspective of the larger issue by ‘sweating the small stuff’?  How do you waste your energy?  Is it the same way you waste our time? I would love to hear from you and I leave you with a bit of fun because – after all … a boomerang that doesn't work is just a stick. Did I refer to ‘timewasters’ in my opening paragraph?  I ask you to enjoy yourself as you visit the ‘Museum of Fascinating Devices the Don’t Work’ and I implore you … don’t waste too much productive work time surfing the site.     <a href="http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/museum/unwork.htm" target="_blank">http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/museum/unwork.htm</a> randymccormickfuneralindustry Thu, 02 Oct 2008 15:15:03 GMT The Light You Emit Might Even Light a Star... http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000354#00000354 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000354.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> I am here to tell you that the things you do without thinking may be the very things that inspire someone else to greatness.  Mentoring is one of these. A mentor is an individual, usually older, always more experienced, who helps and guides another’s development. This guidance is not done for personal gain. The original Mentor is a character in Homer’s epic poem The Odyssey. When Odysseus, King of Ithaca went to fight in the Trojan War, he entrusted the care of his kingdom to Mentor. Mentor served as the teacher and overseer of Odysseus’s’ son, Telemachus.   Funeral Industry: The Light You Emit Might Even Light a Star... By: Randy McCormick When a young funeral director called the other day to share that she had been promoted to manager for a large, national, firm, I shared her good news and thought about the years we had worked together.  I remembered the day I hired her as an apprentice, her first professional job. She has worked hard to get where she is. She is intelligent and good with people. When we worked together, she was a quick study and I enjoyed sharing my experience and knowledge with her. I may have been her first mentor but I certainly won’t be her last.  The call got me thinking about the importance of guiding others.   Mentoring is used in many settings. Although it is most common in business, it is also used in educational settings, especially with "at risk" students and has been the basic principal behind the Big Brothers and Big Sisters programs. One of the most valuable assets someone’s career can have is a good mentor. There are many perspectives on the definition of mentoring, especially since the relatively recent popularity of personal and professional coaching. Being a mentor is so simple.  If, in your life, you have the "been there, done that" experience, you owe it to the younger people you know to share your experiences.  There are a number of approaches … coaching, training, discussion and counselling … but the fact remains that ‘if you have the ability to change someone else’s life, you have the obligation to do it’.  It can be as simple as a meeting over a cup of coffee. In the case of the young lady I guided many years ago, she is now a shining star in a community of funeral directors that I will never move in.  I urge you to mentor someone as your experience moves you through life.  Never be afraid of losing your own job to them.  Share your wisdom, your triumphs and your mistakes unselfishly.  Mentor like someone else’s life depends on it.  The light you emit may even light a star someday. randymccormickfuneralindustryblog Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:42:56 GMT What Would You do If You Were Offered a Second Chance? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000350#00000350 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000350.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> I was asked a question recently that made me think.  On my way to the dinner theatre show I perform in weekly, I was riding on an overcrowded Skytrain, Greater Vancouver’s answer to rapid transit.  A fellow rider turned to me and slurred, “If you died and God said, ‘OK, I'll give you another chance to live’, what would you do differently?”   Funeral Industry: What Would You do if You Were Offered a Second Chance? By: Randy McCormick What would I do differently?  I pondered the words of this little old pilgrim sitting beside me as he took a long slug on a bottle of cheap booze.   He reeked of stale cigarettes and became lost in mindless chatter with himself.  If I were in his boots, I suppose there would be quite a few things I would do differently, but as I was about to sort through my thoughts the woman across the aisle spoke up. “If I had a second chance to live my life again I would spend more time looking into peoples eyes.  I have spent my years looking at their shoes because I was raised in a family where giving eye contact meant a beating.  I have missed so much … … I would look into people’s eyes … I don’t think I really even know my friends.” As I pondered the complexity of her words, a young woman looked up from her book and quietly said, “If I had a second chance, I would be nicer to my mom.  I think it make her cry when I yell at her.”  Her eyes welled up as she returned to her reading.  The old man chattered about decimal points and clouds.  A heavily pierced young man with bad breath sneered and returned his blank stare to a point somewhere deep within himself.  Perhaps he was thinking about what he would do differently, given a second chance.    As for me, there I sat deep within my own thoughts.  What would I do if I had a second chance to live my life?  I smiled at the possibility and remembered the hard times … the times I had failed … the times I had stumbled in the doorway of opportunity … I remembered bad decisions I had suffered.  Then I remembered how much those things had taught me.  I had learned strong lessons and the experiences became catalysts in the crucible of life experience that had made me stronger. As Skytrain rumbled into my stop at Stadium Station, I gave the old man eye contact and answered deep into his soul, “If I had a second chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a single thing”.  I meant it.   He simply answered back, “You’re either a fool or you are a lucky man.” I am indeed, perhaps on both counts.  I pondered the wisdom of my chance encounter with this simple man who had spawned so much thought for those around him.  As if on cue, he simultaneously farted, fell asleep and lost control of his bladder.  The others moved away from him as I left Skytrain, full of insights from the words of a fellow traveler on this, life’s journey. randymccormickfuneralindustry Tue, 02 Sep 2008 13:32:44 GMT I Would be Unstoppable if I Could Only Get Started http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000344#00000344 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000344.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> There he goes, the funeral professional, full of enough fresh ideas to revamp the business and revolutionize the way his world is perceived by the public.  Yes, there he goes, straight to his computer to play solitaire.  Why is it so difficult to get started some days?  Why is it to easy for us to get sidelined by the mundane?  Perhaps it is our affinity for communication and all the joys email and text messaging.   Funeral Industry: I Would be Unstoppable if I Could Only Get Started By: Randy McCormick Indeed there is a need to communicate in a timely fashion but most of us can’t resist – after reading the email message – to open all the other stuff that came along with it.  The joke that has been forwarded for the thirtieth time, the twentieth prayer candle of the hour and… heaven’s forbid … The game that scores you as you either throw cats, bop groundhogs or shoot wandering ghouls.  There seem to be many ways that we get distracted and let a good … no GREAT … idea evaporate in a cloud of rings and dings as the score mounts to ‘champion’ status.  The new world of distractions is mind boggling and changes constantly. Last night I observed my family at play.  The ‘Wii Exercise Program’ is indeed a marvel of technology.  As one stands on a small platform, the sensors advise as to your state of general physical well being.  Total aerobic exercise is the goal as programs have you doing many tasks ranging from pursuing a puppy to returning soccer balls … all the time dodging shoes that the kicker loses as he boots the ball.  Then the twisting and turning, ab burning motions needed to guide yourself downhill in a slalom ski event. Laughter filled the room as one family member after the other competed in balance, diving, swimming (our arms were soon like jelly) and leg stretching games like tennis and fencing. The best scores were those of the grandchildren who just stood there and jumped around while the adults collapsed in panting heaps on the chesterfields.  The machine rewarded each player with a calculation of calories burned and that reward was appreciated by all but the little ones. What was the result for me?   Aside from some side-splitting laughter at the antics, I failed to complete three projects I had planned for the evening.  A morning meeting for a community cemetery committee demanded some organization, a funeral I am to preside at later today needed to be revamped and this blog was in need of an idea.  Here I sit in the early morning hours, attempting to organize a few coherent thoughts for you.  That effort would have been so much easier after supper last night, but such is life.  At least the evening gave me this thought to share with you, but the rewards for goofing off can be of two extremes.  On one hand, there is the open door to sharing with family and friends.  The other door opens upon a hypnotic stare at a screen that is unrelenting in its desire to become your best friend. There he goes, the funeral professional, full of enough fresh ideas to revamp the business and revolutionize the way his world is perceived by the public.  Yes, there he goes, straight to his computer to play solitaire. randymccormickfuneralindustry Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:54:07 GMT Funeral Industry - This Must be Parable Month http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000341#00000341 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000341.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> My last two posts were spawned by modern day parables dealing with workplace and everyday attitude.  Attitude, attitude, attitude!  It’s all about the attitude and the workplace is the first to suffer.  I visited a funeral home last week and encountered the most sour-faced employee I have ever seen.  I thanked God that she was not part of our staff and worried about the mental health of those she worked with on a daily basis.  It is hard enough dealing with the heartache we encounter at every turn but to have a black cloud hanging over the staff is difficult.   Funeral Industry - This Must be Parable Week By: Randy McCormick We are in this profession to help those who come through our doors with problems, not complicate the situation with our own.  I know she does not suffer from the medical condition, neuro-muscular in nature, that makes it impossible for some to smile and I mean no offence to those so afflicted by my comments above.  Here is one of my favourite stories gleaned from cyberspace.  I have no idea who to attribute it to. “One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.  We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy … and I mean he was really friendly.   So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'    This is when my taxi driver shared me what I now call, ‘The Parable of the Garbage Truck”. He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... 'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.'   Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!” The day I encountered the sourpuss in the office I was visiting, I felt uncomfortable, but I was positive the way she was feeling was far worse.  I didn’t allow her attitude to affect mine.  I lamented, and still do, the families that would be abruptly dealt with and I agonized for her co-workers and her manager … but … I remembered the ‘Parable of the Garbage Truck’ and I said a little internal prayer for her. What more can we do as we travel life’s highway and interact with our fellow pilgrims on their way. randymccormickfuneralindustry Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:21:10 GMT Funeral Industry: Give Thanks Each Day http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000339#00000339 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000339.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> There's always a lot to be thankful for if we take time to look.  Take aging for instance. When we grow older, our skin turns from satin to cotton to denim to corduroy but, on a brighter side, I am sitting here giving thanks for the fact that wrinkles don't hurt.   Yes, getting older is rife with emotional landmines including fears of losing one's independence or getting a serious illness.  Aging gracefully isn't always easy, but attitude matters a lot.  As one who bears all the battle scars of a senior citizen, I could not agree more.  Attitude is everything.   Funeral Industry: Give Thanks Each Day By: Randy McCormick My grandson asked me the other day, “Tata, are you rich?”  My answer was, “Yes, Alexander, I am rich and let me tell you why.  In my back pocket I keep my friends and they have to be worth at least a million dollars.  In this shirt pocket I keep my health and that has to be worth ten million dollars.  In another pocket I keep my best memories of your gramma, your mommy and daddy and all your aunts and uncles and that has to be worth at least a hundred million dollars … and in the pocket on the other side I keep all the memories of you and my other grandchildren and they are so precious that there isn’t enough money in the world to buy them.  So you see, Alex, I am also very rich in the things that are important in life.  I am rich with patience. I am rich because I don't gamble … gambling is for the desperate and the poor… if you ever gamble do it in small amounts and view it as pure entertainment. I try to stay healthy because good health keeps my mind sharp. I laugh and smile as much as possible and when I buy a car, I keep it for as long as I can.  I have learned that a car is one of the biggest wastes of money.  I believe that: ‘Everything in Moderation’, is the key to life and that picking ones battles is more important than winning wars.  I am an actor and learning lines and stage blocking helps me keep my mind active and gives me lots of new ideas to think about.  The more I learn the fuller I become with new ideas.  Yes, Alex – I am rich.” I hope my grandson heard from me that being rich does not always mean amassing great hoards of money.  If I can give but one gift to my grandchildren, I pray that they will give thanks each day for the riches that are theirs for the asking.  There's always a lot to be thankful for if we take time to look for it.  Amen. randy mccormickfuneralindustry Fri, 22 Aug 2008 14:44:40 GMT Funeral Industry - Windows on the World http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000337#00000337 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000337.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> What is there within our profession that encourages us to become both judge and jury regarding matters of funeral practise?  Yes, there are standards to be met, but one funeral director passing judgement on the business methods of another can do irreparable damage in the community.  It seems that being critical of those who do not fall into line with our way of thinking is part of human nature, but we must be vigilant to self assess now and then.  Let me share an old story that circulates regularly in cyberspace.   Funeral Industry - Windows on the World By: Randy McCormick A young couple moves into a new neighbourhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbour hang the wash outside.  The laundry is not very clean.  She said, "She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on but remained silent. Every time her neighbour would hang out her wash to dry the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, “Look!  She has finally learned to wash correctly.   I wonder who taught her this.” The husband said, “I got up early this morning and washed our windows.” And so it is with life.  What we see when observing our neighbours depends on the cleanliness of our own windows.  Before we can give any criticism, it might be good to check our own state of mind to determine if we are in any position to pass judgement.  Are we ready to see the good before rushing to find something questionable to judge?  It is human nature for individuals to seek praise in their accomplishments.  We all want our building to stand tallest on the horizon so that others will recognize our good deeds … but what good is accomplished by making our building stand tallest by tearing someone else’s down?  I don’t think our profession is unique when it comes to unwarranted internal criticisms, but I encourage everyone to look inward and clean your own windows periodically.  Work at tending your own garden first before minding someone else’s for them.  Don’t be the problem within this profession.  Be a part of the solution. randymccormickfuneralindustry Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:17:23 GMT Funeral Industry: Seeds Are Small, But Seeds Are Powerful http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000322#00000322 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000322.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Each of us contains seeds of greatness but what we do with them is entirely up to us.  Each one of us has the potential to change lives and most of us do just that every time we are called to assist a family in need.   Funeral Industry: Seeds Are Small, But Seeds Are Powerful By: Randy McCormick We have the opportunity to demonstrate to others and to ourselves the ways in which we stand apart.  We become the strong and confident ones in the face of life's adversities and we show the world our sense of understanding, compassion and responsibility.  We point others into the future with the ability to do the right thing without instruction. We point out potential warning signs and offer tools to counteract the situation. How do we do these things?  Nothing will ever be accomplished if we sit on our collective butts, pontificating.  Nothing is ever accomplished by regurgitating information from a self-help book.  We must get to know the families we deal with.  In the arrangement room our first question can’t be … ‘Can you please give me your father’s full name’ … it should be  … ‘Tell me about your father’ … I know that time is often of the essence, but that few minutes spent listening allows us to be of more assistance than we can ever imagine.  Each person on this earth has a story and within that story lays precious gifts just waiting to be unwrapped. Your story is no different. The seeds of greatness lying within the context of who you are may be dormant … just waiting to be activated … but through sharing, you can fulfill yourself and others.  Individual funeral directors have individual styles and there is no ‘right’ way to be the ‘best you can be’.  You don't have to be like everyone else. You just have to be you.  If you are aware of, and acknowledge your gifts, talents and abilities you will be the happiest, most self-aware funeral professional in your town and people will recognize that.  They will want to come to you because of what they see. Nurture the seeds of greatness within yourself and remember that the secret to success lies within the power of relationships.  Consider those who have helped along the way as coaches.  Often they are the ones who have helped you realize that the very thing you resist is the very thing designed to get you where you need to go. They may help identify your small gifts … still in seed form … so that other gifts ultimately emerge and catapult you to greatness beyond your wildest dreams. Funeral professionals are strong people.  The seeds we sow are small, but the seeds we sow are powerful. funeral industryfuneralindustryrandymccormick Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:16:03 GMT Funeral Industry: Tie in the Morgue? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000314#00000314 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000314.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Has your tie ever accidentally fallen over the face of a body you are transferring?  Do you put on your tie in the morning then make arrangements, embalm a body and hug your kids – all in the same day?  If so, how often do you launder and disinfect your tie?  Are we any different that doctors or heath professionals?  Ties are believed to be major vectors in disease transmission in hospitals. Funeral directors, like doctors and dentists, wear neckties for a professional image but hospitals take seriously the cross-infection of patients by doctors wearing infected neckties because they are less frequently cleaned than most other clothes. Should we be examining our habits?  I also make reference to women who wear scarves, dangling chains etc.   Funeral Industry: Tie in the Morgue? By: Randy McCormick Americans buy over 73,000 miles of neckties each year and I am sure funeral directors top the list of users.  As long as memory serves me, I always felt improperly dressed without a tie.  Granted, I am of a different era than most of the Connecting Directors members but I am sure there are those among you who feel the same.  Most funeral homes attempt to ‘match up’ the men’s ties and often female members of the staff adopt the ‘uniform’ look.   Our ties become who we are. If you take the time to walk the halls of an art gallery, you will be able to observe the changing trends of neckwear over the centuries.  Necessity if the mother of invention and fussy, elaborate things became impractical when dressing for battle.  They soon gave way to being hurriedly wound ‘ties’.  Young men returning from Italy in the 1800’s (called macaronis of Yankee Doodle fame) reintroduced cravats to the North American scene and from then on society deemed that to be considered ‘well dressed’, our necks had to be decorated.  To this day the rule requiring men to wear neckties (and women to wear nylon stockings and high heeled shoes) in the office of the president still applies.  Ties have been part of my personal ‘uniform’ since my early teen years and now in my senior years I wonder about the health risks I have exposed my family to.  Granted, I always tried to remember to tuck my tie in my shirt when embalming, but I shudder when I imagine the splatters I have taken home.  I never laundered most ties unless a soup stain couldn’t be scrubbed off by hand.  I don’t want to sound an alarm or suggest you join a lobby group against wearing ties, I just ask you to be aware of the reality of your neckwear. Think about the fact that on September17, 2007, British hospitals published rules banning neckties. Examine your own ‘tie policy’ and make some rules for your office. funeralindustryrandymccormick Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:29:46 GMT Funeral Industry: Dear God: I Have A Problem, It's Me http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000310#00000310 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000310.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> When it comes to lifestyle, we are often our own worst enemies so we shouldn’t let it get to us too much.  If living a busy (and fulfilling I guess) life is more important than living a healthier life then that’s a personal choice. Own it and don’t shy away from it, but if your priorities change, then change your actions with them.  Most of us lead an amazing life within the boundaries of our health limitations. In the funeral profession we are used to going full out, using up every ounce of adrenaline we can produce and that behavior gets addictive.  There is seldom time to relax and center ourselves.  Grabbing a fast-food lunch is far easier and quicker than preparing something wholesome.  When we start sitting still, or cutting out the crappy food, or realigning our bodies or realtionships, all of our systems start screaming.  Suddenly those systems aren’t getting the hits they are used to and inside we begin to feel all the past crap that’s been done to our bodies. It’s really, really hard.  Either we run ourselves into the ground, or beat ourselves up about running ourselves into the ground. Some things are just in our nature and that’s not something we can really change. Funeral directors are often born perfectionists and our temptation is to try to correct everything at once.  Resist that temptation.  If you really want to change some aspect of your life I suggest you approach the problem head-on and have a good talk with your family.  Perhaps they have been hoping that you will alter one behavior or the other.  Maybe you will prefer to seek out a friend you trust because you feel that they may have insights that family members don’t.  If you want to be REALLY sure that the information you seek is impartial, go to a professional that deals with the aspects of your life that you hope to change.  That type of help can encompass a broad spectrum ranging from the simplicity of Weigh Watchers to the complicated depths of Personal Counselling.   What can we do for ourselves?  We can listen to our family.  We can listen to our friends.  We can listen to our bodies … and most important … we can listen to our own inner voice.  We all know the things we would like to change in our own lives but it is up to us to take the first step.  We shouldn’t make ourselves crazy by the consuming thoughts about the changes.  We should try to focus on one small thing that we would like to work on and give ourselves six months to deal with it.  Perhaps then our prayers won’t begin – Dear God:  I have a problem.  It’s me. funeralindustryrandymccormick Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:15:17 GMT Don't Judge Life By One Difficult Season http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000308#00000308 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000308.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> How easy it is to pass quick judgement on a state of affairs when things are going badly.  What a temptation it is to walk away from a situation-gone-wrong and pretend that it just didn’t happen.  When we minimize present unpleasant situations too quickly we rob ourselves of valuable input.  When we hastily make a judgement call to move on, we don’t allow ourselves the opportunity to evaluate and grow with the results of the assessment.   Funeral Industry: Don't Judge Life By One Difficult Season By: Randy McCormick Everybody makes snap judgments that sometimes lead to mistakes, but a mistake is no reason to look down on ourselves.  One of the best things we can do is to use these mistakes for our own benefit.  The way we see things differs drastically from one period of our life to the next.  Our perspectives change as time and events change within the context of our business and personal lives. Fundamental truths emerge unscathed from the crucible of time but each generation has a need to wrestle anew with the experience in their own way.  The time worn, but instructive story of the Indian Chief comes to mind.  I know not from whence it originated, but my mother quoted it verbatim many times when making a subtle point. There was an Indian Chief who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest.., in turn.., to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the Winter, the second in the Spring, the third in Summer, and the youngest son in the Fall.  When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said "no" it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful. It was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.  He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you give up when it's Winter, you will miss the promise of your Spring, the beauty of your Summer, the fulfillment of your Fall. Moral:  Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come. Allow yourself to learn from the rough spots in the road and the ditches you slide into … and above all else … don't judge life by one difficult season. funeralindustryrandymccormick Tue, 08 Jul 2008 05:26:37 GMT Funeral Industry: Plan to Relax http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000305#00000305 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000305.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> How many of you plan to get away for the July 4th long weekend?  How many of you are wondering why you are doing it?  Vacations should reduce, not increase stress.  You should try your best to get the most out of your holiday down time.  Here are my hints for a relaxing vacation.   Funeral Industry: Plan to Relax By: Randy McCormick Before I even begin my preparations I plan the LAST DAY  of my away time.   I do this to allow for a day to get my head back into the groove of work upon my return.  I do the same thing for the day BEFORE I leave.  That is my day to make sure all work related tasks are put in order.  I find that if I leave a task unfinished, it will bug me at the most inappropriate times e.g. Niagara Falls two weeks ago – ‘damn, I think taxes were due yesterday’.  It turns out they weren’t but the thought robbed me of some precious relaxation time.  In a similar manner, if I haven’t allowed a transitional day at the end, I am on the phone two days before the holiday is over catching up to speed. I love to set a few vacation ‘hopes’ well before the event.  A holiday away from work means different things to different people.  Budget considerations are always a factor but there are times when I just need simplicity.  Do I want to sit in the backyard and read a book or do I want to spend the time in DisneyWorld?   The crowds may be the last thing I require after a busy time at the funeral home.  I always give myself permission to KTVS … keep the vacation simple … If I do none of the above because of the ‘surprise’ element that we experience so often in our lives, I always allow for CHANCE to intervene in my holiday plans.  If I plan too meticulously or schedule too closely I risk stressing myself out when my wife wants to spend a day shopping or a grandson discovers a zoo close to the hotel.  Things don’t always unfold like my mental image of the holiday.  I always allow for ‘adventures’ especially when dealing with wives and grandchildren. How will you spend your July 4th holiday?  I hope you have a relaxing time and have the opportunity to celebrate the gifts of this great country we so often take for granted. Plan your holiday time well, but don’t go overboard.  Many years ago, while enduring one of my wife’s spontaneous shopping sprees, I started chatting with the man sitting next to me.  Turns out he was running for Governor and I had a delightful half hour sharing stories with Ronald Regan.  Allow life to surprise you now and then. planrelaxfuneralindustry Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:13:26 GMT Funeral Industry: If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000302#00000302 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000302.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> On January seventh I conducted his service.  Eight days later I conducted hers.  Today I repeat the identical scenario for another family.  Both families hadn’t even started the estate process for their dad when suddenly their mom died… they hadn’t even settled into the reality of life without him.  All week they had substituted the grief of their loss with added attention to their mother.  The situation of being alone in the world without parents is now overwhelming to them.  They are all over fifty and they are all a mess.  They are adult orphans.   Funeral Industry: If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too? By: Randy McCormick “Parents are like repositories of memory. They’re the only ones who hold certain information about you as a child. It’s like a mirror … we define ourselves in terms of our relationships, so our parents’ deaths challenge us to define who we are.  A funeral professional shares a space that is both sacred and frightening.  Death is the mystery we share as a common denominator with the rest of humanity and although life seems to be the polar opposite as death, it holds as many unknowns as its dark brother.  I have been humbled many times when a couple who have shared a long time relationship have died within months, weeks or days of one another. How many times has a distraught wife died from a broken heart days after her beloved husband?   How many of those instances had been predicted by others?  How many times have surviving family members told you that they felt it was their intention to go together?  “I think that's what they both would have wanted and we take comfort in that” is a common statement. "He was really heartbroken following her death. He couldn't comprehend life without her. He was just really determined and just slipped away”.  “My father's death certificate said bronchial pneumonia was responsible but even the doctor agreed that he had died from a broken heart." There is some research that shows that a broken heart is a real problem.  Here’s the thinking.   The death of a loved one can unleash a flood of stress hormones that can stun the heart, causing sudden, life-threatening heart spasms in otherwise healthy people.  The phenomenon can trigger what seems like a classic heart attack and can put victims at risk for potentially severe complications and even death, the researchers found.  By giving proper medical care, however, doctors can mend the physical aspect of a "broken heart" and avoid long-term damage. "When you think about people who have died of a 'broken heart,' there are probably several ways that can happen," say researchers at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Baltimore.  No one knows HOW OFTEN it happens, but the researchers suspect it is more frequent than most doctors realize -- primarily among older women -- and is usually mistaken for a traditional heart attack. It remains unclear why women would be more vulnerable, but it may have something to do with hormones or how their brains are wired to their hearts. The idea that someone can die from a broken heart has long been the subject of folklore, soap operas and literature. Researchers have known that stress can trigger heart attacks in people prone to them, and a syndrome resembling a heart attack in otherwise healthy people after acute emotional stress has been reported in Japan … but very little was known about the phenomenon in this country, and no one has any idea how it happens.  "When your spouse dies, you lose your present tense," says Tom Golden, LCSW, author of Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing.  That being said, there are grievers who actually find relief in a companion's death, especially after a prolonged period of sickness yet the caregiver role that many spouses undertake may also contribute to health problems.  In that position, many people neglect themselves and experience a tremendous release from everything.   Dealing with the grief of losing the people that raised you from the cradle is not easy.  There is no cushion to the pain or the soul-searching and sheer feeling of rudderlessness that follows. "Just as the sun came up, I would tiptoe over to their bedroom, which was right next to my room in the back, and I would quietly open the door just a little, and there they would be, Mom and Dad, lying there, looking so quiet, and so peaceful together. And I would sit in the doorway waiting for him to wake up, just to see what we were going to do together that day. I couldn't wait for Sundays. He died suddenly when I was fifteen. I once calculated that I had roughly 700 Sundays. That's it. 700 Sundays. Not a lot of time for a kid to have with his dad." Billy Crystal The above is the story of a son.  Imagine what it was like for his mother. funeralindustryrandymccormick Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:38:03 GMT Who’s On Your Dream Team? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000301#00000301 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000301.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> No one person has all the answers.  Have you ever heard of ‘Mirror, Mirror on the Wall’?  If you haven’t, listen up.  In business, when growth is part of the plan, you need to delegate certain tasks involved with the day to day operations.  You need feedback from others. You can't only take your own advice or consider only your own viewpoints. It is very difficult for you to grow if you don't learn from other successful people. I repeat … Alone; you don't have all the answers.   Funeral Industry: Who's On Your Dream Team By: Randy McCormick You are unlikely to institute changes if you don't have a "Dream Team" -- a team of advisors and colleagues who are willing to help you examine your dreams and look out for your best interests. You may have a ‘team’ without even realizing it … your pals or your family.  If you don’t, start by thinking of five friends or people whose work you admire and don’t forget to select people with diverse backgrounds.   Try to select people who are plugged into networks that you normally wouldn’t have access to. Any mix is acceptable as long as you trust them and feel they care enough about you to be honest.  Dream teams come up with creative solutions and may include sports buffs, accountants, or those in a position you would like to be in one day.  Listen to their critiques – if you are going to ask for their advice and then disagree, it’s not worth their effort to participate. Call the group anything you want … your ‘Board of Directory’, ‘Board of Advisors’, your ‘Mastermind Group’, your ‘CEO Roundtable’, or your ‘Brunches with Gal Pals’ but having that outside perspective is crucial.  We all need the help of constructive criticism to point out our foibles, blind spots and obstacles.  You should plan at least semi-annual meetings … Select whatever venue works for the group …  breakfast, brunch, golf or beers … and be prepared to pay because they are volunteering because they like you.  Treat them as your gift. Here are five steps that the Gritty Virtual Assistant suggests you consider to get you started: 1.  Decide on the help you actually need. What expertise do you need most? Are you looking for specific subject area advice? Or overall support? Not everyone is suited to advise you in all areas. Some colleagues are better suited to bandying creative ideas back and forth. Others may have a particular expertise that you need to tap into only occasionally. Decide what you really need, first. 2. Select the right people. Once you have taken the time to "know thyself," you're in a far better position to choose who can best help you in a given situation. Your "Dream Team" can take on many facets, as advisors come in many guises. In addition to those in your industry (because they have wrestled with the same issues), and those who are not (so that you can learn from other’s best practices), you also want to look for companies that are where you want to be in a few years' time. Make sure you choose the right person for the right position on your team. The brusque, well-connected business owner may be great for introductions, but lousy for long heart-to-heart discussions about entrepreneurship. 3. Make communication convenient. You may have a preference for in-person meetings, but that's often difficult to arrange if you have to coordinate multiple schedules. Focus first on what's most convenient for your advisors. You may find that they are more willing (and available!) to talk to you if they can do so by conference call, rather than in person. Or, consider meeting with people one-on-one rather than trying to force a dynamic group. 4. Prepare in advance. Be mindful of the time that your advisors are giving you. Just as you would not want your time wasted with irrelevant story-telling and background information, so you, too, should be sure to get to the point of your discussion, your issue, etc. The purpose of assembling a Dream Team is not to have them listen to your entire life story (that's what therapists and friends are for); it's to elicit their feedback to help you keep moving forward in a more positive direction. It helps if you have a clear sense of your business goals and challenges so that you can articulate them clearly. 5. Expect "Tough Love." The purpose of a Dream Team is not to have a bunch of people sit around stroking your ego, telling you how wonderful you are. It's to get sound and realistic advice about how you and your company can grow. Sometimes, that can be hard to hear. The pet project that you have lovingly nurtured for the past year may get roundly panned. Don't take it personally. Your advisors--especially those with expertise in your field--want you to avoid the problems, time-wasters and money pits that have befallen them. You want their honesty. Preferably, it's couched in the form of constructive criticism …but if not, get over it. ……………………………………………………… A healthy Team is an accountable Team. Be on time for your meetings or calls, and notice if your advisors are not.   You will soon see if members of the Team of your team open and willing to contribute. If they aren’t, don't be hurt … go through the five steps again to keep building that Dream Team for your success.  Good luck!   <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com" target="_blank"><img title="funeralstaff.jpg" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstaff.jpg" border="0" alt="funeralstaff.jpg" /></a>  <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" /></a> funeral industryrandymccormickteamdream Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:18:44 GMT Funeral Industry: Forgive Your Enemies. It Messes Up Their Heads http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000300#00000300 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000300.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Forgiveness is an elusive beast to tame.  Though the decision to forgive is an individual experience, it always occurs within a relational framework.  Most of us have some appreciation for the healing nature of forgiveness in our personal lives even if we don't always practice it, but …in the world of work … forgiveness is an act even rarer than the expression of authentic gratitude and appreciation.  True forgiveness supports the retention of valued employees, allows for greater creativity and innovation. I firmly believe that as a boss or manager you should avoid assigning blame for screw-ups. Because we are all human, we all make mistakes. If one mistake can bring down the entire operation, it’s the operation that needs fixing, not the person. Here is my favourite example: At the XYZ funeral home, the manager was told by a trembling employee that the company website was down. This was a big deal as this funeral home made a lot of merchandise sales (keepsakes, jewellery, candles, bookmarks) online, and downtime cost them real dollars per hour. The manager asked what had happened, and was told that Melissa had bungled a system backup, and caused the problem. “Well, then,” said the manager “Let’s go see Melissa!”  When the manager walked into her cubicle everyone went quiet. They had a pretty good idea what was coming, and were sure it wouldn’t be pretty. “Melissa” “Yes” “Melissa, I want to thank you for finding this weakness on our website. Thanks to your actions, we can now learn from this, and fix the system, so something like this can’t happen in the future. Good work!”  Then he left a visibly baffled Melissa and an astounded funeral home staff. That particular mistake never happened again. Royally chewing out or firing the person who made the casual mistake won’t help, because their replacement will be just as human and will also make mistakes.  The act of forgiveness is for your benefit not theirs.   Forgiveness is not some state of mind you can miraculously achieve. It is a decision you make everyday and possibly every hour. Here’s the ‘Randy Rule’ on the subject.  The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with in your office … or at home … watches you from the mirror every morning.  Don’t confine your forgiveness to the Melissa’s in your life.  Save some for the ‘man/gal in the mirror’ too.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" /></a>  <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com" target="_blank"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a> funeral industry Fri, 27 Jun 2008 12:27:15 GMT Funeral Industry: Her Vocabulary Was As Bad As, Like, Whatever http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000299#00000299 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000299.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The rules of speech are constantly in a state of flux and it never ceases to amaze me the ways in which ‘teen speech behaviours’ repeat themselves across the generations.  I don’t know if you have ever sat in the arrangement room with a young person, but it can be an experience.  The day that Batesville steel was referred to as ‘Phat’ took the cake though.  An apprentice left me a note that read ‘L8R SK8R’ and I thought it was code rather than a parting ‘see you later’.  I guess if I were with it I would have replied ‘C U L8R’.   Then comes the complicated stuff!  Do you know what ‘wasband’, ‘funderwear’ and ‘dot gone’ mean?  (See end for the definitions)   Funeral Industry: Her Vocabulary Was As Bas As, Like, Whatever By: Randy McCormick I recommend http://www.slangsite.com/slang/F.html for a real eye opener. I function in the world of young actors everyday and if I am to understand their conversations, I need to educate myself.  The site is a great help but it is also a great slap in the face.  I was educated in the proper use of English and the rules pertaining to the proper usage of nouns, verbs, adjectives and to be aware of ‘dangling participles’.  How do educators remain relevant and still communicate the formalities of the English language with their students?  What does a teacher do when asked about the use of ‘farge’ in a sentence?  Look it up on the site if you dare.  The vocabulary of street talk is often very amusing, as intended, so browsing a collection of slang, webspeak, made-up words, and colloquialisms can be entertaining and educational. My neighbour … the mother of a young teen … told me that she is concerned about being clueless about her daughter’s new language.  I told her to not to make it a mahusive problem and not be such a dorkasaurus.  As she slammed the door she glared at me and said … typical manser! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Definitions I promised … wasband: ex-husband. funderwear: Not the basic whites you wear under your office clothes, but the more unusual and daring numbers you wear on special occasions when you 're hoping someone else may get the chance to see them. dot gone - unsuccessful internet company For the rest, have some fun and visit the website I recommended.  You won't be sorry.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" /></a>  <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com" target="_blank"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a> funeralindustryrandymccormick Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:03:45 GMT Funeral Industry: Is a Small Lie Called a Fibula? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000298#00000298 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000298.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Small lies are a big part of our lives. We tell them for convenience and comfort, to smooth things over for others as much as for ourselves. We say "It's all right with me," when it's not.   We insist "I'll call you," when we won't.  Perhaps the most pervasive prevarication of all is "I’m fine," when we aren't.  The most common lies are told to avoid conflict.  We all want harmony, but often this compulsive quest gets in the way of true harmony. Funeral Industry: Is a Small Lie Called a Fibula? By: Randy McCormick To admit the truth to oneself and then speak it to others can be difficult, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.  Telling the truth can do wonders for relationships, but discretion is the keyword.  When we hold our tongues to avoid a conflict, declaring to our partners that ‘we don't mind yellow wall paint’ when we really want green, the feeling doesn't just disappear. In actuality the cost of avoiding even superficial conflicts can be quite high because you lose the ability to be yourself within your own family and sacrifice growing relationships. My wife has a friend who tells herself she wears a size 12, when actually she's a size 16.  As a result of this self-deception she squeezes herself into clothes that neither feel nor look good … which in turn causes her to be uncomfortable with herself and her workplace.  Her relationships suffer because no one is supposed to mention the size-12 sham.  It has become a barrier to intimacy with friends and family. If a lie is obvious, people will understand it right away.  This makes huge lies harmless; they can even safely be used as humour … ‘I just bought SCI’.  In contrast, small lies can be capable of serious, long-term damage and even if uncovered, too much may have been based on them to correct easily. In a sense, small lies may become truth because people act as if they are. This is why they must be stopped, and stopped in time. Stopping a small lie may require a lot of effort but stopping it now will require less effort than stopping it later, especially if it spreads. If you find yourself tempted to tell a ‘fibula’ in the funeral home setting, change the subject ... talk about the weather ... or anything rather than becoming the perpetrator of a cruel reality.  ‘Fibula’s’ have nothing to do with funny bones.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" /></a>  <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com" target="_blank"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a> funeralindustryrandymccormick Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:26:52 GMT Funeral Industry: Consider some Counselling! http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000296#00000296 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000296.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Do you think counseling is for losers who can’t control their lives?  Do you think that seeking counseling is a sign of weakness?  Is it only the failures who ask for help?  These antiquated approaches to third party sharing are outdated but to many in our professions we would rather live in denial than take a chance.   Funeral Industry: Consider some Counseling! By: Randy McCormick A good counsellor is like a good friend that you can guarantee will not run off to hang your soiled underwear on the public line for others to see.  A good counsellor augments you and helps you see the obvious as the ‘forest full of trees’ becomes so entangled that the trees become the only thing that counts.   A good counsellor will help you by exploring your story - the nature of the problems and what impact they're having on you and your relationship. The history of how the problems arose and what changes you'd like to see. A good counsellor assists as you journey to understanding your story and discover why you're struggling with problems and the things that may be preventing you from overcoming them.   Finally a good counsellor helps you to rewrite your story, finding the strengths and resources to resolve your difficulties, or at least make them more bearable. Even poor old Bubba out in Texas needs a chance to be heard. A counsellor gives the time you need to talk, sob, shout or just think. They give an opportunity to look at problems in a different way with someone who'll respect and encourage your opinions and decisions.  They provide a chance for the most negative among us to speak his peace. It's hard to measure whether counseling is effective, but it's an industry that's rapidly growing as more and more people discover the benefits for themselves. If you haven't considered counseling before, please don't leave it until it's too late.  It is not a sign of failure or weakness … it is a sign of respect for yourself and those around you.  But don’t worry … if you see bring yourself picking up the phone … you are in good company and here are the reasons I used to draw upon to avoid admitting that counseling might just be a good thing. “It happened so long ago that it should not matter. I have tried other types of counseling before, and they did not work.  My wife … partner … employee … friends … need counseling more than I do. I know that I might benefit from counseling, but I just don't have time for it. It is mostly the other person's fault. It is difficult for me to get away from my job. I don't want to have to go though all the garbage again. I don’t think counseling will help. It just costs too much to go to counseling.”Really good reasons don’t you think?  Well, I am here to tell you that issues don’t go away by themselves.  Like Mr. Marley in the ‘Christmas Carol’, we drag around the chains that weigh us down without realizing that a good counsellor can help us realize that they are only made of thread … not lead. Suck it up.  Pay someone to listen.  Then and only then will you be in a position to cry ‘foul or fair’ when discussing the merits of counselling.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" /></a>  <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com" target="_blank"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a> funeralindustryrandyis Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:14:05 GMT Funeral Industry: What Suits Your Busy Schedule Better...? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000294#00000294 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000294.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> What suits your busy schedule better – exercising one hour a day - or being dead 24 hours a day?  Walk or die; a new study gives people in their 50’s and 60’s another reason to get off the couch and be physically active, especially if they have conditions or habits that endanger their hearts.   Funeral Industry: What Suits Your Busy Schedule Better...? By: Randy McCormick In the study, a death-reducing benefit was seen among those who walked, gardened, or went dancing once a week, as well as those who pursued more vigorous activities. Those who were obese also had a lower risk of dying if they were regularly active.   Being overweight and living a sedentary lifestyle doesn’t happen overnight, the two sneak up on us slowly and the spare tires build up gradually.  Hypertension … Call it what you will … accompanies the weight gain and can be a silent, deadly killer. People suffering from hypertension don’t even realize they have a problem unless their doctor alerts them. If you are over forty years old, it’s time to start having regular physical checkups at least once a year. Catching a problem early makes it that much easier to treat. Here are a few tips I try to adhere to.  Think of trying all … or a few as a start if you are serious about cleaning up your act. Start Walking.  Try walking around your block 5 or 6 times a day in two sessions. Do some sit-ups. Your stomach will shrink considerably.   Be aware of your sugar intake. Eat lots of raw vegetables, including broccoli and green leafy vegetables. You can eat any meat as long as it’s not salted. Eat plenty of fruit, including dried raisins, and bananas.   Cut back on salt. Don’t put it on any food. There is plenty of salt already in many foods. Slice a clove or two of raw garlic into your food periodically.  Garlic helps thin the blood, break down fatty deposits, and facilitate better blood flow. Be aware of your carbohydrate intake and check your weight and blood pressure regularly. Finally, be ‘happy and relaxed’ as a lot of one's good health comes from a good mental attitude. Exercising takes a little time each day and a lot of effort, especially in the beginning. The thing is, don’t be discouraged if you don’t see results right away. It takes time. Build up steadily and keep at it. Some people will tell you exercising three times a week is enough, or to take one day off per week. But the problem with that is that it’s easy to forget, or to say to yourself you will exercise ‘tomorrow’. Get into the habit of doing mild exercise every day … after you gets into the habit it actually becomes a pleasure.   We only pass this way once so I implore you to consider this:  What suits your busy schedule better – exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day? <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" /></a> <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com" target="_blank"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a> funeral industrysuitrandymccormick Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:36:46 GMT Funeral Industry: The Most "Water Power" in the World is in a Widow's Tears http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000292#00000292 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000292.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The first time I was exposed to a widow’s tears, I didn’t know the impact they would have on the rest of my life.  Like rivers that flow from the highest mountains and forge their way through the deepest valleys, those tears cut a path through my life that remains intact to this day.  She was a small woman but her tears of grief haunt me still.  Her tears of sadness reflected the scars left from a lifetime of healing.  Those tears were visible evidence of her vulnerability.  To this day I am brought to my knees by the memory.   Funeral Industry: The Most "Water Power" in the World is in a Widow's Tears By: Randy McCormick If the experience had not given me an insight into her ‘fear of the future’ as she trembled and sobbed, I could have dismissed it but it was all too real.   Crying is not grief; it is a way of getting over grief.  The highs and lows of our emotional lives are all marked by tears.  I have been told that there are more tears shed at the baptism of a baby than any other event that happens in church!   Why do we cry when we are happy?  Perhaps at the baptism we find the child’s innocence beguiling or maybe they help us remember our own need for grace.  Do we see ourselves in their eyes?  Once we too had nothing to hide.  I had an old friend who … upon looking at a picture of my newborn grandson … said … ‘Poor little man … he has no idea of the pain he will suffer.’  Then she cried.  Tiny newborns, who have not yet learned the art of deception, have the ability to disarm all but the most hardened of us. I have seen tears of happiness, tears of joy, tears shed in a movie, tears shed at a homecoming, tears shed during a curtain call following a great performance, and yes … the tears of a grieving widow lamenting lost years of victorious living. Thank you for sharing your tears.  Thank you for allowing me to offer you loving care. I ask to be forgiven the tears I have caused … and to be aware if I am ever guilty of oppressing others.  Through your tears … the tears of a widow … help me shed my own as I comfort others with compassion.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" /></a>     <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com" target="_blank"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a>    funeralindustryrandymccormickwidow Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:09:34 GMT Funeral Industry: I've Traveled a Long Way and Some of The Roads Weren't Paved http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000291#00000291 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000291.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The journey of life takes its toll on one and all.  The precious memories shared as we nurture the families that come to us are borne of hardship and toil.  If we listen with our hearts as well as our ears, we will hear voices on the wind hailing as we bear their loved ones to the hallowed sites of family burial plots.  They are being welcomed home at the end of their journey.  Not so for us.  We still have a way to go.   Funeral Industry: I've Traveled a Long Way and Some of The Roads Weren't Paved By: Randy McCormick The Business Dump, a blog about ‘Avoiding Life's Potholes’ reminds us that for some, traveling on the path of life is a journey filled with struggle, pain, fear, failure and adversity. For others it is a journey of love, joy, laughter, happiness and success. Potholes present each of us with opportunities for growth regardless of the path we are on.  M. McMahon sums it all up by saying that the anxiety of life's pitfalls can be excruciating. Emotional pain is just as real as physical pain and in some ways, harder to endure because we don't know when we will heal. But when the unexpected yucky parts of life befall us, we can sit in a room blowing up black balloons while the ex moves out, the IRS takes our house or our job vanishes.  Some things are out of our control, but others we can command if we want to bad enough.  There are addictive behaviours that cause us pain.  There are personality traits that compromise our ability to relate kindly to others.  The journey of life takes its toll in many ways and those who recognise the pitfalls and travel around the potholes become the winners of the game.  The following five chapter thought is not original by any stretch of the imagination, but I use it here to demonstrate a way of dealing with life’s problems that has helped many.  These words refer particularly to destructive behaviours … some as simple as ‘ignoring your co-worker’ or constantly being ‘late for work.’   Chapter I I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost...I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter II I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place, but, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. Chapter III I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in ... it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. Chapter IV I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. Chapter V I walk down another street. We are complex beings and we must do everything we can to be kind to ourselves and to one another.  We have all travelled unpaved roads and survived.   Let’s strive to be aware of the potholes, steer clear of the ruts and avoid blowing up those ‘black balloons’ for the pity-party that follows a tumble.      funeralindustryrandymccormick Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:14:36 GMT Funeral Industry: Because I Said So, Thats Why http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000288#00000288 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000288.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   “Because I said so, that’s why,” is not a good enough reason these days.  That infamous answer may have worked for your mom when you asked her why cats purr or why do dogs eat grass, but in the funeral home office setting it just doesn’t work.  I suppose those working for major corporations have to use the phrase regularly, but when it comes to answering questions from a public that is more educated than ever, I am sure they too must scramble at times.    Funeral Industry: Because I Said So, Thats Why By: Randy McCormick In our daily lives we regularly put our trust in experts.  What about our drinking water?  There’s something about the idea of drinking tap water that’s been someone else’s sewage in the recent past that just doesn’t appeal to me.  I don’t think I’m alone in that but the authorities tell us it’s OK.  Why?  Because they said so … that’s why!  My doctor prescribes a cocktail of medication that I am to consume on a daily basis and I read the list of side effects on the internet.  I gasp in horror and proceed to take the pills.  Why?  Because he said so … that’s why! I could go on to cite the many times we put our faith in the opinions of those we trust, but does the local funeral director rank up there?   If you heed the results of recent Harris and Gallup Polls, we are not even close.  We feel all pious and warm and fuzzy about what we do, but in reality … according to the polls … we share a trust level well short of that of mechanics, stockbrokers, real estate and insurance agents.  This information should be a wake up call.  There have been those within our ranks who have contributed to our tarring and feathering in the media.  There are those within our ranks who continually pick at … and squeeze the boil of sensationalism … not content to let the nasty thing on our face heal.  Forget about dredging up the sins of the few and let the public judge us by the examples we set in our separate communities.   As we offer ourselves to service, we must “let our light so shine before men that they will know our good works …” We don’t have a lot of other options. In the funeral home setting we must strive to give satisfactory answers to the questions we are asked.  It is no longer acceptable … unless you are ‘Humongous Funeral Home’ … to say “we are not using the local flower shop that has supported and referred us for the past forty years, but a centralized one in a neighbouring community”.  We can no longer say … with any credibility … “the local monument company around the corner doesn’t offer the discounts we expect; therefore, we now send our orders to one in another state.”   Don’t try to fiddle with the price of a casket too much because the customer can log onto any of a hundred funeral home websites and compare … then bring some real hard DOCUMENTED questions your way.  It is no longer sufficient to answer any of those questions by saying “Because I said so, that’s why!”  That is no longer a viable answer.      funeralindustryrandymccormickbecause Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:33:07 GMT Funeral Industry: Keep The Score http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000285#00000285 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000285.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Losing control: A business owner’s greatest fear. Many choose to stay small because they do not want the worries of growing too big.  Growing is not only a worthy goal; it's a necessity for your business survival and your future economic well-being.  Please remember that I am not suggesting you grow by expanding as adding a second location may only double your expenses and headaches, not your revenue.  There are many tried and true ways of growing your business that have been successfully used by others and with some planning and investment, they will work for you.  Exploring your options is a perfect starting place.     Funeral Industry: Keep The Score By: Randy McCormick When you start, make sure you keep a record of your progress.  Many people forget to ‘Keep the Score’ and after a year they wonder if their strategy was the reason for the growth or if other factors were to blame. Here are three strategies that I have employed that you may or may not use already.  Perhaps you will find one that works for you.  Successful Internet marketing campaigns are within the reach of any business, no matter what your budget. By following basic marketing plan steps and committing to a self evaluation, you can create a cost effective marketing campaign that has the potential to effectively grow your business.  I immediately think of the options and benefits that Connecting Directors.com has to offer and I marvel at the alternatives offered therein.  With internet marketing there is no reason that your business can’t bring in extra dollars from areas that you never even dreamed of.   Dare to dream. Stretch your parameters even if it means stepping outside your comfort zone.  Having a booth at community trade show has been an effective growth strategy for many small businesses.  Horror of Horrors!  A FUNERAL HOME at a trade show!  Relax and imagine the untapped possibilities of reaching a new customer base.  I have even done Mall promotions that introduced me to entirely new marketplaces.  Don’t laugh.  It really worked.  Choose the right trade show or mall and create a show display that will draw booth visitors.  Perhaps for a month long promotion you could feature a draw for a big screen TV.  It is an attention getter and one funeral will pay for it.  If growing your business depends on getting a business loan, increase your chances by being prepared to meet the lender's expectations.  Find out what you will need to tell about yourself and ask for an explanation of the documents needed.  Preparing yourself will give you a better chance of making a winning presentation and getting the money you need. Growing businesses face a range of challenges but you should be able to track your success.  Be aware of common mistakes and always keep a finger on the pulse of your growth.  Always ‘Keep the Score’ so you won’t have to puzzle whether your strategy … or other factors were the reason for the growth.       funeralindustryrandymccormick Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:51:22 GMT Funeral Industry: Working Parents Are People To http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000284#00000284 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000284.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> I want to address the single parents in our funeral homes.  I offered a previous post referring to working with single mothers and now want to acknowledge the journey of all single parents.  I realize how unfair it is to discriminate but I come from a different era … an era when a single father was unheard of … so please forgive my nearsightedness.   Funeral Industry: Working Parents Are People Too By: Randy McCormick I can’t imagine how difficult survival must be for the single working parent.  If work hasn’t drained every ounce of strength from them by the time they get home, the needs of their children surely must.  How does the single mom or single dad find time for themselves?  How do they restore a sense of ‘the normal’ to their lives?  Is there any time for a social life? If you are a single dad or custodial parent for your children, the road you travel is lined with those more eager to judge than those waiting to offer assistance.  Whether you find yourself in this situation due to divorce, death or other painful experience, you have to find ways of making your role as a single dad more meaningful for your children.  I find it hard to imagine the trials of the single father and being called upon to do things that men are not hard-wired to do.  Can a single dad be both father and mother to his children?  I think that is not necessary and hope that they simply work at being the best dads they can to meet their children’s needs. There are few transitions in life that are harder for a man.  The worst thing must be mealtime … it rolls around so often … three times every day. Many dads are not good grocery shoppers but I know one single father who plans and organizes the necessary trek to the store in such a way that he can involve his kids and they actually have fun. There is often so much laughter that I wonder at how much good decision making goes into the purchases.  … to say nothing about the impromptu ‘Indy-style’ shopping cart race in the grocery store parking lot.   There are always two sides to every coin and two sides to every story.  In the case of the multitasking that single parents must do to survive, my hat is off to the guys and gals out there who care enough about their children to sacrifice themselves at the altar of FAMILY.  Family can mean many things to many people, but in the funeral profession it primarily refers to those we serve.  In the intimate sense it refers to our children and network of relatives.  In the office setting it refers to the co-workers that depend on each other to keep the team from becoming ineffective. Single parents in the funeral profession have a firm understanding of all three and decide where they fall in the priority hierarchy at any given moment.  Bosses … cut them some slack now and then.  Co-workers … tell them you appreciate what they are doing.  Children … hmmmmm … I’m lost for words! <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeralindustryrandymccormick Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:28:24 GMT Funeral Industry: Can a Hearse Carrying a Corpse Drive in The Carpool Lane? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000282#00000282 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000282.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Just try it using the carpool lane or the HOV ‘High Occupancy Vehicle’ lane in Vancouver and see how far you get.  I did and got busted with a ticket.  Apparently someone who is dead is not considered a commuter.  I am sure other jurisdictions have similar rules so be aware if you are tempted to try a similar action.  You too could be courting a $200.00 wake-up call.   Funeral Industry: Can a Hearse Carrying a Corpse Drive in The Carpool Lane? By: Randy McCormick The quest to ticket illegal ‘carpool lane’ offenders has escalated over the years but it seems the Brits lead the pack in the race to identify cheaters. Having police do enough monitoring to act as a real deterrent is pretty costly, so soon cameras will do the dirty work. They have developed an infrared camera that exploits the small range of the infrared spectrum that is absorbed by human skin but reflected by all the non-organic parts of a car.  So much for thinking the remains in my casket would qualify as a ‘second person’ in that country either.    There are tattler hotlines in California but they have a flaw according to a retired police officer who works for us part-time.  He says that the perception is ‘that thousands of drivers are blatantly breaking the law’ but said many motorists who think they see cheaters are often mistaken.  From his own experience, he found times when he thought someone was violating the law and pulled them over, only to find another person sleeping in the back seat or a small child in a car seat.  The person using the tattler hotline would not be able to see inside the car and the driver would have to go through quite a procedure to prove the fact.  A baby qualifies as a person. On a daily commute you tend to see the same drivers day after day if you always travel at the same times.  I used to play tag with a lime green Chevy at 7:45 everyday on the way to work.  Then one day I saw him zoom past in the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lane with a Jamaican gentleman sporting an unforgettable hairstyle of wild dreadlocks.  This happened day after day and I admired them for carpooling so religiously.  One day I passed them as they were pulled over at a check stop.  The Jamaican gentleman was lying on the lime green hood as the driver stood sheepishly by.  It seems his passenger was a life-size blow up doll easily obtained at any joke store.  I now knew why his friend always wore the same clothes to work … and now the driver would be paying dearly for his attempt to cheat the system.  The officer was smiling… actually on the verge of breaking into full laughter … but I am sure the officer who ticketed me in the hearse had just as many laughs recounting the ‘commuter in the casket’ story in the squad room.  We live and learn.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryrandyfuneraldrive Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:23:57 GMT Funeral Industry: A Sharp Tongue Can Cut Your Own Throat http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000281#00000281 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000281.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Funeral professionals certainly don’t have an easy time of it, but then as the saying goes, if you can’t take the heat – stay out of the kitchen.  I have had to deal with more than one director who has felt so overwhelmed that they actually snapped at a customer.  Most of the times the situation is a regrettable single incident, but if it is repeated, more proactive action may be called for.  Sadly, the boss is not always in the best position to act on this type of scenario.  Of course, the onus is ultimately on him or the manager, but a peer or workmate is often the best person to deal with an unpleasant incident before it escalates.   Funeral Industry: A Sharp Tongue Can Cut Your Own Throat By: Randy McCormick   He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity: Proverbs 21:23.  How many thousands of years ago was that common-sense thought recorded?  It seems we struggle yet today with similar issues.   Maybe your tongue isn't sharp; maybe it just has a poor vocabulary.   The ultimate solution is to monitor yourself … but stress can often mar judgment.  Here is a great project:  Pick a day and write down … or at least try to remember … the themes of your conversations. You don't have to record yourself on a tape and you don't have to get down every word … just make simple point-form notes throughout the day about what you talk about and the tone of your conversations.  Many funeral professionals spend their time somewhere between ‘gushy and nasty’, filling their days with normal conversation spiced with occasional excitement, irritation or temper.  Of course we can easily recognize extremes in behaviour but monitoring a day helps the perspective.  The middle of the road has the most ruts and it is there that habits become ingrained.  After awhile our minds fail to detect problems because everything just feels ‘normal’.  This applies to so much of life: our personalities, our reactions, our senses of humour, our choices and our routines. Never become too accustomed to the words and expressions you use.  Do you have friends you would describe as … serious-minded … sarcastic … brutally honest … depressed … bubbly … friendly … outgoing …encouraging … irritable … sharp-tongued?  Do a self assessment project for one day and then ask the question … Am I cutting my own throat with sharp language?   Do you think anyone describes you as ‘Sharp Tongued?    funeral industryrandy mccormicktongue Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:02:24 GMT Funeral Industry: Do The Math. Count Your Blessings http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000279#00000279 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000279.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Life seems so crazy and hectic these days, and we often forget to slow down and count our blessings. My hope is that you take a deep breath, brew a cup of tea or coffee and relax.  Think about your rough month, week or day.  Try to focus on counting your blessings rather than your trials. We have a lot to be grateful for as we review our situations at home and at work.  I am reminded of a poem of sorts that a friend had cross stitched and hung over her bed.   Funeral Industry: Do The Math. Count Your Blessings By: Randy McCormick    Count your blessings instead of your crosses; Count your gains instead of your losses.  Count your joys instead of your woes; Count your friends instead of your foes.  Count your smiles instead of your tears; Count your courage instead of your fears.  Count your full years instead of your lean; Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.  Count your health instead of your wealth; Love your neighbour as much as yourself.  The lady I speak of was 94 years old, lived in a horrible, smelly excuse for a nursing home, and had lost her sight and the ability to walk.  Her days consumed her with pain as her bones broke down … and yet … she smiled.  She had two hangings over her bed.  The largest bore the words I quoted above.  She loved the times when her room was full of family, friends and people just chatting away about life-crap.  She was present in the reality reflected by the cross-stitched words over the bed.  I hoped to purchase that cross-stitch piece from her estate after she died, but a grandson claimed it quickly … as well he deserved.   As for me, I had to settle for the second framed piece in her room.  She had penned my name on the back before she died and it hangs on the wall behind me as I type away.  It is also a reflection of her attitude about the situation she was powerless to escape from. “So, This Isn’t Home Sweet Home.  Adjust.”   She made use of what abilities she had left and took advantage of every opportunity that came her way.  She saw the world differently from the model we are accustomed to dealing with.  Within her cross-stitch words she experienced happy, fun moments with the people closest to her heart and was able to enjoy her life in this world to the fullest.  “<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah%2018:3-4;&version=31;">So … I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel … but the pot he was shaping from the clay was damaged in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.</a>”      funeral industryrandymccormick Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:15:44 GMT Funeral Industry: If You Want What Lies Buried, Dig Until You Find It http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000277#00000277 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000277.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> You will never find hidden treasure lying on top of the ground.  If it was, it wouldn’t be called ‘hidden’ treasure.  The treasures that we seek either lie within people around us or deep within ourselves.  Personal searches involve many pitfalls and onerous roadblocks, but the destination is worth the journey if you find but one truth.   Funeral Industry: If You Want What Lies Buried, Dig Until You Find It By: Randy McCormick We must remember that not all treasure gleams in the sunlight.  People are treasures and that includes those with mental, physical, emotional and learning disabilities.  They are treasures to their family and … if we take time to explore their reality … they will become treasures to us as well.  We can learn much about love and life from the family member with Down Syndrome or the Autistic ‘best friend’ at a funeral.  On our journey, we stumble upon pearls of wisdom and gems of insight because … treasure abounds within each person we meet and each sunset we gaze upon.      During the great gold rush of the Old West, thousands of people risked their lives to pursue their dreams of instant wealth. Some found their riches, but far more failed than succeeded.  Treasures worth finding are usually a far cry from Pirate booty.  Pirate booty is not meant to be found.  The practice of hiding a valuable thing is well known and buried treasure is an important part of the popular beliefs surrounding pirates who often buried their stolen fortunes in remote places, intending to return for them later.  Forget the metal detector and treasure map. Here are some ideas I use to find treasure in my life.  Let FAITH be your guide as you walk the paths of life.  Let every step be carefully taken each day and don’t think that that you search for is the proverbial ‘Lost Treasure’.  Only when you have possessed something can you lose it.  Stop looking for ‘Lost Treasure’ in your life.  Often what you search for isn’t lost at all, it just awaits the time when you’ll become aware of it’s presence.  With HOPE, view each day with new eyes.  If you have the chance to watch Hidden Treasure (Hoboken International Film Festival) please do so.  There you will discover a documentary film that unravels a journey, a dream and a woman’s experience to find her purpose in life.  Without hope your searching journey can seem futile.  By opening your eyes to the wonders of a world full of possibility you can truly discover the true meaning of life.  And the greatest among these is LOVE.   Love your fellow human and love yourself.  The power of love is the greatest tool available you can use when digging for treasure.   Love reveals all and is the only tool you need in order to lighten the dark places. If your search is ongoing, I ask you to join the rest of humanity in the search for the common good … for the common denominator.  If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.     funeral industryrandy mccormickblog Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:07:01 GMT Funeral Industry: An Enemy Takes More Space in Your Head Than a Friend Takes in Your Heart http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000276#00000276 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000276.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   How many times have you watched members of a family do battle in the arrangement office?  How many times have you observed the results of years of family discord - caused by simple matters - become full blown feuds?  The negative thoughts are usually so consuming that downright hatred is not far from the surface of the issues.  The sad thing is that the original rift may have been caused by a misunderstanding or the lack of communication.  Thirty years later the grudges hold strong and the ‘Cold War’ still takes place within the walls of the funeral home.  I think of the stories of professional wrestlers when I think of grudges.  The wrestling world is always abuzz about the latest feuds between characters.  At first they are dramatic but over time they stagnate. When that happens, the characters have a GRUDGE MATCH.  No matter who wins, the feud is set aside so that each character is liberated.  How amazing.  How many of us need to take a few lessons from Professional wrestlers about releasing ourselves from the bondage of our grudges? Within some traditions there is a customary day for reaching out to those with whom you have not set things right.  That day in the Jewish faith is Yom Kippur … the Day of Atonement. It is a day of contrition and forgiveness and is marked by reciting prayers acknowledging: “… that in the coming year we will all make vows that we will not keep, promises we will not live up to, and that we all will inevitably fall short of what we might be expected to do or be ...”  There is a sense that misunderstandings should not drag on because things are not meant to go on and on without end.  How great it would be if there was a universal day of forgiveness.  Is it too simplistic to say ‘I’m sorry’ when you’ve hurt somebody’s feelings?  Is it too trite to say “I forgive you” when someone has hurt you?  I don’t think the order is all that important. After all, on Yom Kippur observers ask forgiveness for transgressions not yet committed and forgiveness for the breaking of vows not yet made.   We all know the Golden Rule: ‘Treat others as you would be treated.’  Now here’s the Randy Rule: ‘Treat others as they want to be treated’… and remember … an enemy takes more space in your head than a friend takes in your heart.    funeral industryfriendrandy mccormick Fri, 06 Jun 2008 13:10:59 GMT Funeral Industry: Celebrate Your Victories http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000275#00000275 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000275.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Regeneration of our physical and emotional resources comes when we celebrate victories. One of the problems we have in the funeral profession is this: We think we are too busy to take time off to celebrate. Even if we just get away from the business and relax, we will come back rejuvenated and be ready to tackle work with renewed vigour. Imagine how inefficient it becomes, using a battery powered machine, if we keep on working it harder and harder to get the work done and never stop to recharge the batteries.   Funeral Industry: Celebrate Your Victories By: Randy McCormick If we don't stop to recharge our batteries we soon become totally ineffective. Find some way of motivating yourself to recharge your batteries. Motivation starts with you … if you aren't motivated by what you are doing right now; chances you aren’t motivating others and results won't be as good as they should be.  In fact, results are probably going to suck.  Solutions revolve around the premise that you should be happy in your job.  You may suffer ten disappointments but if you celebrate ONE success in a big way, the ten failures get easily relegated to the ‘lessons learned’ bin. Here are a few ways that I use to determine where I am at any given point and determine if there is a need to celebrate. ·      I begin by stopping all activity and think about what I am doing.  ·      I then ask my co-workers or family to help me debrief the situation and determine if a level of success has been achieved.  ·      If it has, I try to determine what I did to facilitate the growth.  ·      By answering that question I reveal the things to celebrate.  ·      I decide if the celebrations should be individual or group occasions. There are even times when I have involved the public.  With a new addition to our building we threw a community party that is still being talked about.  The trick is to keep the momentum going.  Don’t forget to rest the goalposts after your party and keep growth at the top of the priority list.  When you plan our future and set goals it is easy to determine when to celebrate. Without goals to achieve, you can keep on working until your job becomes drudgery. Celebrations put excitement into what we do.  Give yourself permission to have a good time on your journey to success.     funeral industryrandy mccormickcelebrate Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:19:32 GMT Funeral Industry: Healthy Older Male, Mentally Alert but Forgetful http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000272#00000272 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000272.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Sigh.  Forgetfulness comes to the best of us if we live long enough.  Yesterday my son lamented the cost of new hearse keys.  It seems someone misplaced or lost the old ones and the expense for the new set was significant.  Automatic door openers don’t come cheap.  That afternoon as I tossed my topcoat onto a chair, something jingled in a pocket.  Oh, oh.   Funeral Industry: Healthy Older Male, Mentally Alert but Forgetful By: Ryan Thogmartin   Do you find yourself joking about losing your keys or forgetting where you parked the car? Those little slips may be no laughing matter.  Like the rest of the body, the brain changes as you age. It’s normal to occasionally forget things or to think more slowly than you did when you were young but be aware of drastic escalations in memory function.  There are a few simple things that I do to keep myself on track, but one of the biggies is journaling … or in my case, writing this blog on a daily basis.  I have Ryan’s vision for Connecting Directors.com to thank for this opportunity, but I am glad that he lets me take weekends off.  Another one I use on an hourly basis is this: Jot things down.   If it weren’t for a great day timer … I use one that clergy use for appointments … I would be sunk.  I am constantly amazed by the ways in which next month’s schedule fills so quickly.  If it weren’t for the notes I make to myself, I am sure I would forget something important … and a word to the wise … if you think you are busy now – just wait until you retire.  Everyone wants a piece of you because – after all – you are retired.  Watch your diet. They have found that phytochemical-rich foods, such as blueberries, are effective at reversing age-related deficits in memory, according to a study which not only adds science to the claim that eating blueberries is good for you, it also provides support to a diet-based approach that could potentially be used to increase memory capacity and performance in the future.  Herbs have traditionally been used to help awareness, perception and learning capacity. Some claim to boost the memory by giving strength to the nerves and increase alertness of the mind by rejuvenating the brain cells. Drink lots of water … I know … you will spend a lot of time in the washroom but hydrating your system is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Water is your body's principal chemical component, making up, on average, 60 percent of your body weight. Every system in your body depends on water. For example, water flushes toxins out of vital organs, carries nutrients to your cells and provides a moist environment for ear, nose and throat tissues. It is invaluable for hydrating nerve tissues and studies show that it is helpful in treating some memory loss disorders.  Your water intake will depend on many factors, including your health and how active you are. I try the best I can to keep my brain active but there are times that I am no better than my ninety year old neighbour.  An as for the hearse keys that I discovered in my pocket … I don’t think I will tell my son … and if he reads this … oh well … I guess Dad’s busted now! PS I am long past 40, but did you ever notice that the Roman Numerals for 40 are "XL" …?  At least now the ‘XL’ in the collar of my shirt makes me feel younger than I really am.  Oh, to be 40 again.      funeral industrymentallyrandy mccormick Wed, 04 Jun 2008 13:15:14 GMT Funeral Industry:Train Your People to Do It Better Than You http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000268#00000268 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000268.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   The staff is the most valuable asset of any funeral home.  It is also the source of most of the problems.  As a result, management often neglects the ‘care and feeding’ of new staff or delegate the task to an assistant.  Granted, training is a time consuming effort but the reward should be peace of mind.   I feel that any training program should encourage new members of the team to learn the ropes but then reach beyond to explore new ideas.   I believe there is NO ONE who can train a new team member better than the boss or manager.   Funeral Industry: Train You People To Do It Better Than You By: Randy McCormick When we start a business based on our own unique skills, we face a difficult choice if we get too busy to cope with all the work our expertise has created. We need to spread the load by employing others to do some of the work. This is the critical point in the business' development.  If the business owner gets this right, the future of the business is assured … but if it goes wrong, the business is may be doomed. Many business owners wish they could clone themselves when they are unable to find anyone who can work as hard as they do.  Initially there is  resistance to hiring staff, but eventually the need becomes obvious. Business growth is always stifled by an owner hanging on to the work load he or she enjoys. Having made the choice to grow, the key to unlocking the full potential of the plan is to train new people well.  When the students can ask the mentor to clarify concepts, fine-tune solutions, confirm a process or simply seek assurance, they begin to understand the process. It is your duty to communicate your organizational vision, values, goals, and rules. Employees need to clearly understand what the organization stands for, what kind of behaviour is encouraged and what kind of behaviour won't be tolerated.   There's always a strong temptation to excuse some key personnel (family or friend) in the organization from following the rules.  Fight the temptation.  If you exempt one, the credibility of the rules suffers. If the training manual has only one thing underlined and highlighted in Big Red Letters it should be TRAIN YOUR PEOPLE TO DO IT BETTER THAN YOU.     funeral industryrandy mccormicktrain Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:09:33 GMT Funeral Industry: No Matter Where You Go, There You Are http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000266#00000266 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000266.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> You can try to change the way you answer your phones and you can renovate your chapel to your hearts content, but the essence of your funeral home is built upon your attitude.  Hand-in-hand with your attitude goes the attitude of your staff.  Your business is hinged to the way you view the world and your place in it.   Funeral Industry: No Matter Where You Go, There You Are By: Randy McCormick  There are many unfolding areas to be explored in this Global Village we call home.  If you plan on doing a good job for the families you serve, you need to be aware of customs in diverse global areas.  Most people travel these days and you must be prepared to deal with out-of-town complications.  You should tailor your mind-set if you want to experience the disparate geographical and cultural differences you may encounter.  A tolerant and understanding manner exhibited by the funeral director is not only appreciated in his home-based trading area, but by funeral professionals in other countries.   You have an opportunity to establish a solid base for building long-lasting relationships worldwide.  If you are new to the area of ship-in ship-out business, you should proceed very carefully and seek Consular advice at every turn.  When you approach unfamiliar territory your position ought to exude integrity, flexibility, inventiveness and professional skill.  Attitude is a manner of acting, feeling, and thinking that shows one's disposition.  It's really all about how you respond.  If you are open and communicative with your customers you are well on your way to guaranteeing their business.   Of all the skills you develop, a good attitude will take you the furthest.  We have all heard about … or have seen someone with … a "bad attitude”.  We know how it stands out and we know that it doesn't take people very far in life.  It is OK to have different feelings and opinions on things but, just because you disagree on something, doesn't mean you have a bad attitude.  It is the way you communicate or show your feelings and opinions that counts.  If you disagree and argue in a disrespectful way, or don't listen to other opinions, then you may have ‘bad attitude’. The world is a much better place when we look at things and respond to them in a positive way.  I don’t suggest that critical analysis should be ignored because there are times when you must be critical … but you should try for ‘good attitude’ in the process.  You will find eventually that you can actually respond to things in several ways (good or bad) and that the way you respond effects how people respond back. No matter where you go, there you are.  I hope you arrive at your destination with good attitude.   <a href="Http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeralfuneral industryrandy mccormick Mon, 02 Jun 2008 13:30:45 GMT Funeral Industry: Feet Firmly Fixed on a Foundation of Faith http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000263#00000263 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000263.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> There are times in the life of a funeral director when assaults come from all sides.  The core of our belief structures can be shaken and the growth process can be challenged.  All that we hold sacred ca n seem dashed unless we visualize ourselves as a sail at rest, awaiting the gust of wind that comes along to fill us and move us onward.  Different belief systems abound in the world we serve, and we must be able to let them pass through our lives gently.   Funeral Industry: Feet Firmly Fixed on a Foundation of Faith By: Randy McCormick As funeral professionals, we are unique in many ways.  At the time of death, life is examined and we watch from the periphery as the broken ones we serve struggle and succeed … or stumble and fall.  We see them as they confuse what they seem to be ‘at the moment’ with who they really are.  Death is the great common denominator and it is not unusual for us to be sideline players in the drama that ensues.  Their fear of the future is understandable as they see themselves divorced from both the past and future.   A funeral directors faith is born of the input from everyday experiences.  To deny that is impractical. Even the most devout among us must be able to acknowledge that … if we are to be of help to the diverse faith groups that come to us … we must live the questions rather than quote the answers.  Consciousness has brought our spirit to this point and we must trust that it will guide us safely through the remainder of our days.      We must reassure ourselves that we will cling to whatever foundation we have forged for ourselves and have no fear of the future …  that we will not feel threatened by faith structures we find unfamiliar; rather that we will allow them to be real to those who adhere to them.  If we have faith in life and wisdom we become effective not only to those we serve, but to ourselves and those we work with.  Every question we have may have an answer that strengthens others who remain open to the possibility.   If we accept that we are ‘called with courage’ to serve those who come to us, we dispel our limits and inhibitions.  From that moment on we become able to live each day in faith, elevating our consciousness and lifting ourselves into our own futures.   Heraclites said that we can never cross the same stream twice; that the water we waded through an hour ago has long moved on.  So it is with our faith if we have a firm foundation.  The difference being this: The water may move quickly, but the stream bed erodes slowly.   The basic elements of a funeral directors faith can be a beacon to others.  I only caution you to live your faith and let your life be your statement.  I am reminded of a story my grandmother told me about the bumblebee.   She observed that a bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out.  It never sees the means of escape  at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom.  It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.  In many ways, we are like the bumblebee.  We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up!   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeralfuneral industryrandy mccormick Fri, 30 May 2008 13:15:27 GMT Funeral Industry: One Thing You Can't Recycle is Wasted Time http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000261#00000261 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000261.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Here are the funeral profession’s two most common complaints about time:  ‘I don’t have enough time to do that’ and ‘there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to complete all these jobs’.   For many workers today, time's a wastin' - literally.  According to a new survey by America Online and Salary.com, the average worker admits to frittering away 2.09 hours per 8-hour workday, NOT including lunch and scheduled break-time. As a matter of practice, companies assume a certain amount of wasted time when determining employee pay. Funeral Industry: One Thing You Can't Recycle is Wasted Time By: Randy McCormick I once had an employee who spent as much time socializing with co-workers as he did tending to funeral home cleaning duties.  When I would ask him to run an off-premises errand he would regularly be gone for twice as long as others.  I didn’t have time to act as a spy to see what he was doing but one day a customer called to say she had run into him at the park and had sent an envelope with him containing her payment.  He still hadn’t returned from his ‘post office’ run at the time she phoned.  His other favourites were arriving late and leaving early.  One day he announced he was leaving … he had connected with another job via the internet … my internet as it turned out … on my time.  I was glad to pass him along to the opposition.   Are workers really expected to work 8 hours per day, non-stop?  I think not … and that is why we have allowances for bathroom breaks, coffee breaks and lunch breaks.  According to most managers, that should work out to 1.2 hours a day but most suspect 1.6 hours while employees admit to wasting well over 2 hours every day.  If that ‘work’ time wasted is spent doing productive, but personal things, then it’s only the boss who loses.  If the ‘work’ time wasted is totally non productive then everybody loses.   Time is not a renewable resource. As Spencer W. Kimball said, "Time cannot be recycled. When a moment is gone, it is really gone. Wise time management is really wise management of ourselves". There are many ways that to take advantage of every moment given to us. When you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have time.  There is no more time available to us.  We have all there is.  Make the best of each moment and don’t waste what we have been given.  Wasted time can’t be recycled unless you count the time spent reliving the regrets on your deathbed.   funeralfuneral industryrandy mccormick Thu, 29 May 2008 12:50:36 GMT Funeral Industry: Reach for The Sun http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000259#00000259 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000259.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Expectations that you make for yourself as a funeral professional need not be modest.  Personal goals become the vehicles that make each of us individual and they spur us on to greater heights of performance.  One thing is sure about personal goals; no one can achieve them without action. You must have a firm grasp on what you want to do.  Each person has their own way of setting and reaching goals but here is one way that has worked for me over the years.   Funeral Industry: Reach for The Sun By: Randy McCormick In realizing that I could not achieve anything without taking action, I found that the job became easier if I broke ‘the goal’ down into simple components.  I would then make a list of actions needed to complete those simpler chunks.  In that manner I was able to focus on little steps instead of being overwhelmed by the GIANT STEP.  Let me use an example.   I don’t know how many of you journal on a daily basis, but anyone who has written to a daily deadline will tell you about the enormity of the task.  Pressure on reporters writing daily columns for newspapers is gut-wrenching.  When I was invited to become a ‘Guest Blogger’ for this site I thought about it long and hard and finally, after some serious goal setting, accepted Ryan’s offer.  The task loomed large on the horizon until I broke it down into components … 260 blog articles per year was daunting but five seemed more manageable.  Suddenly I wasn’t committing to the yearly count but was only dealing with one week’s obligation.  The actions and tasks I had to complete became simple.  I opened five folders and gave them subject titles.  Some titles I thought up, others came from family sayings, still others from friends.  When I had a spare moment throughout the day … without any plan whatsoever … I recorded random thoughts in point form in the folders.  When the day came to post my first blog, I sat in front of the screen with dozens of jotted thoughts before me.  It was a simple matter to let one of the thoughts develop into a narrative.   Now, five months later, I have created folders up to mid July.  When I have an idea, I insert it minimally into the appropriate blog file.  I am way ahead of the game and as a result am not faced with a daily dilemma.  By realistically breaking down the BIG GOAL into a series of MINI GOALS, I have eliminated the stress and pressure.  The MINI GOALS are now just a series of fun tasks requiring a few entries that come … whenever… The entry you are reading right now was only a blank folder named ‘Connecting Directors May 29th’.  The only words I wrote in it were simple … ‘Reach for the sun and if you miss, you will still end up among the stars’.  I expanded upon that thought on May 21st after reading an inspiring passage from Kathy Jackson.  If I can do it, so can you.  I implore you now to approach your own goals and break them down into achievable tasks.  Be realistic. I repeat … Expectations that you have for yourself as a funeral professional need not be modest.  Personal goals become the vehicles that make each of us individual and spur us on to greater heights of performance.  One thing is sure about personal goals; no one can achieve them without action.  ‘Reach for the sun and if you miss, you will still end up among the stars’.   <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a>   funeral industryrandy mccormick Wed, 28 May 2008 16:18:49 GMT Funeral Industry: I Can't Shake This Cold http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000256#00000256 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000256.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The spring cold makes its way through the funeral home staff, then sneaks home as a surprise gift for your family.  Cold and flu bugs plod their ruthless routes through our lives everyday and there seems precious little we can do except let them run their course.  But what about the ones that insist on hanging around for weeks on end?  These are the bugs that finally bring us to our knees as we trudge to the doctor’s office where we learn that his family and most of the clinic staff have been affected in the same way.  The infections seem to hang on forever! Funeral Industry: I Can't Shake this Cold By: Randy McCormick  You don’t get to be my age without hearing about every cure in the book and    I know all about the … odourless garlic capsules … Xango juice to boost the immune system … vitamin C … home-made chilli … raw onion sandwiches … Echinacea … hot honey and lemon …Vicks poultice … steam … Jack Daniels tea and honey ... and the list goes on.  Feed a cold… starve a fever … or is it the other way around?  Two weeks later the bug still holds on.   There is only one ‘old wives’ adage that I embrace.   ‘Three days to catch it, three days to have it and three days to get over it’.   That one remains tried and true for me.  The way we handle colds in our household is with a balanced diet including an abundance of fruits and vegetables, plenty of fluids and adequate rest during those first six days.  During the last three we keep up the same routine but add some exercise … AND HERE’S THE BIGGIE …  We throw out the old toothbrush! The germs that caused the sickness are hanging out on your toothbrush.  Short of boiling it for five minutes (we tried that – the bristles fall out), no amount of running it under HOT water kills them.  If you don’t replace your toothbrush once you start feeling better, it is little wonder that the cold returns time after time after time.  Most people stick the germ ridden offender back in their mouth with no thought of the implications.  Soon you are the one complaining that you just can’t shake the bug.  Don’t despair over the price.  Wouldn’t you rather get better than save a dollar?  If you have a good relationship with your dentist, ask for a backup on your next visit.  I hate the costly electric toothbrush … tossing it is almost cost prohibitive … but think about the wisdom of using it over and over and over.   Not to be paranoid, but here are a few more sanitary hints you may not have thought of when trying to shake a cold.  Use some rubbing alcohol to wipe down your door knobs, phone, computer keyboard and car steering wheel. You are possibly reinfecting yourself.  Most important … wash your hands frequently and blow your nose rather than snorting and snuffling.  Try not to swallow those germs again after they are almost out of your system … I find that chillies in my soup really help to get my nose running …   If you have someone in your funeral establishment or someone at home who ‘just can’t shake’ a bug, I encourage you to pass this humble advice along to them … and remember the biggie … Throw out that old toothbrush!   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryrandy mccormickcold Tue, 27 May 2008 12:57:45 GMT Funeral Industry: Birthdays and Bagpipes http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000252#00000252 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000252.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Today is my birthday.  I haul out the bagpipes, season the bag with a concoction that reminds me of ‘slug guts and honey’ and prepare to play.  My grandchildren run and hide.  Why?  You see, the curse of arthritis has robbed me of my ability to hold the chanter properly.  I once piped decently but now sound terrible.  I first became aware of the problem while piping for a Funeral Service Association of Canada convention in Whistler (future site of the 2010 Winter Olympics). Suddenly my fingers wouldn’t cover the holes properly and I didn’t know what was happening.  Years later I still lament the loss, but rather than bemoan the fact daily, I reserve my birthday for that purpose.  I haul out the pipes and crank out (literally) the lament.     Funeral Industry: Birthdays and Bagpipes By: Randy McCormick Why bitch and complain about the things you have no control over?  Is it not wiser to celebrate the things you still can do?  Getting old comes to all … so listen up young people. I am reminded of the classic headstone inscription … “Remember, man! As thou goest by, As thou art now, so once was I; As I am now so must thou be, Therefore, prepare to follow me”.  I am not predicting arthritis for all but I am saying that age takes its toll.   Life is like a horse race.  When I was young I ran the course as well as most and better than some.  At the end of the day, I was leading the other horses … and the next day I did it all over again.  I was invincible.  I was tireless.  For decades I kept winning and was proud of my collection of gold cups.  Then one day I noticed a few younger horses gaining on me, so I redoubled my efforts and won again.  Soon they were neck and neck and finally, despite my best efforts, I could not pull out front.  Before long I was killing myself just to keep up and within a year my vista was nothing but that of horses’ asses.  That was when I stepped off the track to contemplate the race.   While sitting in the bleachers I realized many things about myself.  I discovered other talents that didn’t require as much energy and I explored them.  Suddenly I found that I was frequenting many smaller race tracks and these new ones didn’t require the energy of the BIG one.  I painted watercolours and was surprised when I sold some … I polished my close-up magic techniques … wowing grandchildren with coins from their ears and floating handkerchiefs (they still won’t let me try cutting their gramma in half though).   I returned to the actor’s stage and smelled the greasepaint and the ‘Lime in the Light’.  The applause was deafening as I approached my new finishing lines and the reviews were laudatory  The number of race tracks I now frequent are much different than the BIG one, but there are more of them and I manage them … or not … depending on the moment.  I welcomed Ryan’s request to blog for this site.  The commitment returns me to a writing discipline that I had stayed from and it is another welcome racetrack.  I hope I am keeping up.   So much for this – I had better get on with my day.  It is now 5:30 am.  Wanna hear the schedule?  Finish this blog … morning ablutions …. glow as the grandchildren make early morning calls to sing Happy Birthday to Tata … make porridge … preside at a 10:00 service … luncheon meeting with a local cemetery committee … return to relax in the hammock … finish sewing the waistband on a friends kilt ... frame a recent painting … toss five hats that I made earlier into a bag for rehearsal … four o’clock audition for another production … dinner with my beautiful wife … check my email … play a game of FreeCell … hit the sack.  And guess what?   Not once during the day will I have had to stare up any butts as other horses race by.  I have chosen my arenas well and can compete in them … who cares about winning.   funeral industrybag pipe Fri, 23 May 2008 13:20:31 GMT Funeral Industry: We Have Enough Youth. How About a Fountain of "Smart"? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000249#00000249 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000249.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> How mankind has cheated itself by it’s pursuit of youth to the detriment of all else.  We all know about Juan Ponce de Leon’s search for the Fountain of Youth, his main reason for traveling to present-day Florida in 1513.  Apparently the search did not start with him, nor was it unique to the New World.   Why do we want to stay forever young?  What’s wrong with being old and wise?  Do we have to wait until we are old to become wise?   Should we assume that we will automatically become wise because we get old?   Funeral Industry: We Have Enough Youth. How About a Fountain of "Smart"? By: Randy McCormick Although life is a struggle, it was never meant to be so. If we could only accept ‘who we really are’ and ‘what we really look like’ we could live our lives in relative peace.  My mother-in-law agonized about maintaining her youthful appearance and as a result, purchased every skin cream and toning device on the market.  To her credit, she looked fabulous in her casket, but that is my point.  She still died.  Looking young and being young are two entirely different concepts.  It is time to educate ourselves all over again. It is time to set some SMART goals.  We should try to experience life by approaching learning as we did in school.  Top Achievement founder, Gene Donohue is one of my heroes.  His version of S.M.A.R.T. means life goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely.  We all could take a page from his book because … with his model … we can tackle life head-on and set workable goals.  Smart is being willing to learn from others and then being open to passing that knowledge on to someone else. Doesn’t being wise demand the same criteria? Yes, the debate between 'smart' and 'wise' rages on.  A smart person is honed by his intelligence, having knowledge and understanding of a wide range of information.  I feel a wise person has knowledge and understanding but adds the important final ingredients … experience and principles.  Wise people learn from their own and others’ experiences.  Often wisdom comes with age but as Garrison Keillor said “Age does not always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone."  So what is the answer?  I suggest we all learn to harness the grey power in our lives as we get older and stop stewing over the wrinkles around the eyes and the rolls around our middles.  I did a magazine photo shoot a few weeks ago with actress Hunter Phoenix.  Why was I chosen?  I was chosen because I look like a broad cross section of today’s buying public … old, fat and bald … The production company was smart enough to recognize the direction consumerism is heading … and guess what … the production company was all made up of young people … pretty smart bunch I figure.   Maybe there’s hope yet …   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryyouthrandy mccormick Thu, 22 May 2008 13:20:51 GMT Funeral Industry: The Cheapest Facelift is a Laugh http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000246#00000246 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000246.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> What a serious lot we funeral professionals can be.  We constantly deal with a grieving cross section of the population that arrive at our doors accompanied by waves of tears.  We must always be aware of the space they are in as they navigate emotional minefields that assault them on every side.  We live with these realities all day and then arrive home to greet our happy families.  We do all of this and more.  We turn people’s lives around with a few well chosen words yet do we have enough left in us to be effective when we get home?   Funeral Industry: The Cheapest Facelift is a Laugh By: Randy McCormick   I have found over the years that most of my colleagues were hard wired to leave ‘office stuff’ at the office. My friends used to tell me that ‘No one parties like a funeral director’.  I didn’t believe them for years until I began to look at our invitations.  My wife and I were invited to the most unlikely parties in town.  I finally concluded that we were considered good listeners, great conversationalists and good dancers.  That was a complement, but being funeral professionals made the listening and conversational skills a given.  We leave our work at the office, but not the skills that have become part of our lives.  The dancing is another story.  Here are the party rules for our family: <ol> <li>Smile.  First impressions mean the most. </li> <li>Introduce yourself to those you don’t know.</li> <li>Call everybody by name.  This is a learned skill so work at developing it.</li> <li>Ask a question only if you really care about the answer.</li> <li>Use a kind word. </li> <li>It never hurts to say please or thank you. </li> <li>Be satisfied with who you are.  </li> <li>If you need to remove yourself from a difficult circumstance, do so.</li> <li>Convince yourself you are going to have a great time.</li> <li>Like many, we are faced with ailments – don’t talk about them.</li> </ol> Don’t let the serious nature of your job become the defining nature of your life.  I am off to a funeral directors convention in Niagara Falls in a few days and can guarantee that the faces I encounter will be beaming with smiles.  Funeral directors know the value of a smile.  Walking around the tradeshow floor will provide the same uplifting feelings usually reserved for parties and good times … all of this among displays of embalming fluids and hearses.  Face life like you are smiling into a mirror and you will notice that the world smiles right back at you.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryrandy mccormick Wed, 21 May 2008 13:19:31 GMT Funeral Industry: Pressure Transforms Stones Into Diamonds http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000245#00000245 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000245.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Today you don’t have to look far to identify someone who is stressed out.  The phenomenon is particularly alarming in mothers who have chosen the funeral profession as their vocation.  There is a large population of moms in this business who shoulder the added burden of being the principal bread winner for the family.  They need the most support because they have the most to lose.  This is a business where it seems that nothing is ever enough.     Funeral Industry: Pressure Transforms Stones Into Diamonds By: Randy McCormick The ‘pressures of life’ that working moms deal with are complicated by events that are often accepted as ‘part of the business’ … things like early morning services, evening visitations and on call duties.   Everyday they step up to the plate and cope with their responsibilities.  The rent needs to be paid, food purchased and utilities tended to.  Maintaining a car adds considerably to the pressure.   Many people have unrealistic expectations, but not the hard-working women numbered within our ranks.  They remain grounded in reality when a family birthday rolls around or when a party needs to be planned.  Presents don’t grow on trees and holiday dinners don’t appear on the table magically as they do in fairy tales.  My hat is off to working mothers and I hope that each enjoys a network of support.   The next time that you have a chance to talk to the single mom in your office … or the working mom who is helping keep the family finances out of the red ink … take time to acknowledge her commitment.  If she is the boss, try putting yourself in her shoes now and then.  If you are the boss, cut her some slack … especially when you see the office scheduling conflicting with soccer practise.  Make a note of her children’s birthdays and ask about their school holiday schedule.  If you are a workmate, offer to do something that she will appreciate.  Taking the kids to a show or doing some grocery shopping might be just the thing needed.   Far from needing or wanting pity, these strong women are survivors.  Show them that you know how much of themselves they sacrifice.  Remove them from the on-call roster now and then.  Ask them if they want to have a flex day periodically.  It doesn’t take much pressure to break a twig, but when the pressures are strong enough on a working mom the results can go two ways.  Thankfully, most get stronger.   The next time you speak to one of these dedicated women living with the pressures that both ‘home’ and ‘work’ place on her, take time to congratulate her on her journey.  After all, pressure transforms stones into diamonds all the time.    <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a>   funeral indusrtydiamondsrandy mccormick Tue, 20 May 2008 13:24:13 GMT Funeral Industry: Walking to Forget http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000242#00000242 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000242.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The difficult moments in the funeral home often make us search for new ways to unwind.  We aren’t always able to get away from the office for a few days, but getting away for a few minutes is a different story altogether.   ‘Stop and smell the roses’ is a common phrase used as a helpful reminder to slow down, relax, and experience the beauty around us. We work in offices that cut us off from nature and this is unfortunate because nature is a powerful de-stressor.   Funeral Industry: Walking to Forget By: Randy McCormick   On the days we are able to have an outdoor experience in a cemetery or stand in the sunshine outside a church, we should seize the opportunity to reconnect and recharge our batteries.  On the days I am stuck inside, I try to go for a walk. Walking therapy gives my over-stimulated senses a chance to rest, and provides a great opportunity to get back in touch with life around me. Experiences in nature help people reawaken their senses and accept various changes in life. Measurable benefits abound … but at the very least, walking gets us outside, relaxes us and allows us to experience the serenity that comes from being in nature.  Next time you are trapped in the funeral home, take a break between arrangements and walk around the block.  Even if it is raining, I guarantee that you will feel much better and your mind will be much clearer upon your return. The following is a reflection I wrote during the 70’s after an evening walk.  My day had been really stressful and, upon returning home, I had been abrupt with my wife.   ‘Walking to Forget’ soon turned into ‘Walking to Remember’.  Let the magic happen for you.   ……………………. Walking to forget... I place one foot in front of the other. Walking to forget... I count my steps and am oblivious to all that I pass. Walking to forget... I stop only to cry, then move on. Walking to remember... I celebrate life. I revel in the fall colours And k i c k a pile of leaves, s c a t t e ring their essence like a child’s spilled box of crayons. Walking to remember... I hear the symphony of nature’s music... The birds... the wind... the rain... Walking to forget  becomes Walking to remember... I hurry home to say  I Love You. Randy McCormick c.1977   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryrandy mccormickwalking Mon, 19 May 2008 13:14:00 GMT Funeral Industry: Life is Drawing Without an Eraser http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000239#00000239 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000239.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The journey of life begins and we are welcomed into the mysterious world of the hospital.  We are surrounded by a room full of smiling faces all staring down at us.  The journey of life often ends in another hospital room where, once again, we are surrounded by faces, sad faces this time, all staring down at us.  Between those two scenarios we live our lives.   Funeral Industry: Life is Drawing Without an Eraser By: Randy McCormick   There are no mistakes in life; only lessons. That’s a good thing to know because it eliminates the need for that ‘big eraser’.  Whenever something happens, there is an opportunity to learn.  If the experience is negative, don’t try to eliminate all traces of it … that is not possible … there is no eraser powerful enough.  You may get angry with yourself for doing something incorrectly because each time you do something that makes you feel bad, the tendency is to agonize and it is human nature to rehearse errors over and over again.  Mistakes are gifts and as such, do not require erasing. Some people refuse to admit that they make mistakes. This attitude cheats them from learning life’s precious lessons.  Those people chant a lifelong mantra … ‘it was someone else’ … ‘it was the system’ … I am sure you have all met the classic ‘victim’.  They rationalize, deny, make excuses, justify, and blame. These people have never learned to accept responsibility.   If you accept the fact that you WILL make mistakes and give yourself permission to do so, you are acknowledging that you are normal.  The facts are … you will make wrong turns and make bad choices … you may even hurt someone’s feelings.  By being aware that there is no eraser, you acknowledge your vulnerability and consequently become aware of what you are doing and how you are feeling.  Experience is a hard teacher. You must be perceptive about the ways in which your words and actions affect others.  There is no magic eraser so whenever you make a mistake … or are involved in a misunderstanding … take responsibility for your actions.   Yes, it's hard to admit you were wrong, but it is a liberating experience.  It demonstrates strength, courage, and a commitment and is a respectful and caring way of living.  Always be mindful of relationships and search diligently for ways to nurture them for mutual good.  Then when you leave this world, as we all must, the faces around you will reflect many happy memories.  Let your legacy be one that speaks of integrity, love, respect of self and respect for others.   You can only leave that legacy when you learn to take responsibility for your actions.    <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryrandy mccormicklife Fri, 16 May 2008 13:44:02 GMT Funeral Industry: The More I Learn About Terrorism The More I Understand The Phone Company http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000238#00000238 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000238.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   When completing renovations at our funeral home we were in constant need of an open line of communication with the telephone company.   We had previous dealings with the local giant so were prepared.  The first call to the giant’s castle was met with casual indifference as we ‘pressed 1’ for service in English, then 6 because we are a business user, followed by 3 for the service department, followed by, followed by, followed by zzzzzzzzzzzz. Wake up, this has to be done! Rats! The line has gone dead!  I wasn’t on hold at all!   Funeral Industry: The More I Learn About Terrorism The More I Understand The Phone Company By: Randy McCormick Sixty three minutes later I finally spoke to a living human being.  Without any apology … why should there be? … hadn’t I enjoyed two or three siestas while on hold? … the conversation ensued as if I had gotten through on the first ring.  The person I spoke to took information for about five minutes and THEN asked for my phone number.  I thought this was the phone company and assumed they would have call display!  I was abruptly informed that I had given the wrong zip code.  I suddenly realized that the employee had all the information in front of her the entire time I was being interrogated.  Grrrrr… Two days later a truck arrived an hour late, but had to leave abruptly … he said for a local emergency … I suspected that because his late arrival, it was now noon and everyone needs a lunch break.  He never returned.  I called the giant’s lair.  Forty one minutes of waiting, then … a voice.  Someone else would be coming out shortly.  Shortly … translated into ‘phone company’ jargon meant three working days … which have nothing to do with calendar days.  We decided to explore other servers! Suddenly, romanced from all sides, we finally felt important again.  Tongues were clicked as we spoke of our fate at the hands of the giant, and then came the sales pitch.  Technical terms filled the air like heat-seeking missiles.  The first thing suggested was getting rid of the stodgy old local units.  They are apparently fading into history, right behind the long-distance market, which has already faded. With cable getting into the telephone business and phone companies getting into the cable business and internet telephony getting into everybody's business, it's hard to know what's what.  The giant had told us that a plain old phone from the local phone company will most likely continue to work even when the power fails and, through the local 911 network, it will connect you quickly to an emergency dispatcher when you need help. That's not necessarily true of cable and internet phone service.  I am lucky I have no hair; otherwise I would have pulled it out in frustration. At the end of the day, we switched horses in mid stream, got shiny new sets with fabulous options.  A week later we had a minor glitch … an odd clicking noise on one of the sets.  I called the service number.  Press 1 for service in English, then 6 if you are a business user, followed by 3 for the service department, followed by, followed by, followed by zzzzzzzzzzzz. Wake up, this has to be done! Rats! The line has gone dead!  I wasn’t on hold at all!   El Qauida has nothing on the phone company   funeralindustryterrorismrandymccormick Thu, 15 May 2008 12:38:02 GMT Funeral Industry: I Can Tell From The Smell - You Must Be Beautiful http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000236#00000236 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000236.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> I almost died at the Mall today.  After bashing through the chain smoker blockade at the front of the building I decided to take the elevator to the second floor.  I usually use the stairs but today I was in a hurry.  Before I knew what hit me the door slammed shut and I found myself gasping for air. The elevator was saturated with the overpowering scent of shaving lotion. My fellow passenger was an athletic middle aged jock.  I immediately started to wheeze and by the time and by the time we reached the second floor I could hardly breathe. As we exited he gave me a courteous smile, completely unaware of the napalm death he was emitting.     Funeral Industry: I Can Tell By The Smell - You Must Be Beautiful By: Randy McCormick I suffer from scent allergy problems, but mine are mild compared to some.  I don't expect others to change their habits but I wish more people would avoid scents and toiletries when they know they are going to be confined in spaces such as theatres, airplanes, buses, etc., that don't have healthy ventilation.  For me that includes the visitation.  I am sure you all have encountered the ‘scent’ offender.  When he or she is a grieving family member, they are easily forgiven but we have posted obituaries in the past asking people that … if they are planning to attend … to avoid wearing scent because of family allergies.   According to the AAD, some 5,000 different fragrances … and countless other fragrance combinations … are used in products today, and they can be a powerful, toxic brew.  For many people, they are a real sensory overload.  There are a growing number of people with fragrance <a href="http://www.webmd.com/allergies/default.htm">allergies</a> or sensitivities that can have mild to severe health consequences but … SCENT SELLS … so there are definitely more fragranced products available today. We do have some control over what we allow into our homes and other personal spaces – but we can hardly do anything about them in the funeral home.  After my trip to the mall, I walked into the office and smelled something oddly familiar … something closely akin to mud and blood and aftershave … a real jock smell … and there he was … my fellow elevator rider … waiting for me in the foyer … explaining that he had just come from the gym and was here to check out the funeral home before preplanning his arrangements.  Oh well … that explains the smell … but please people, use a little common sense now and then.  Sometimes I don’t know what smells worse – the prep room or the chapel after a ‘scenter’ service.   funeralindustryrandymccormick Wed, 14 May 2008 13:09:52 GMT Funeral Industry: To Heck with Tradition - Let's Play Rock n Roll http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000235#00000235 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000235.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Today’s funeral music would make my grandfather turn over in his grave.  He was accustomed to tradition and propriety and would have been aghast at some of the songs we use today.  He MAY have been exposed to Ethyl Merman’s version of ‘God Bless America’, but even that would have been considered radical.  How has traditional music morphed into today’s version of acceptable?   Funeral Industry: To Heck with Tradition - Let's Play Rock n Roll By: Randy McCormick There has definitely been a history of change at our funeral home and I am sure you have seen it also.  What happened to the staff organist, grinding out her dark, lacy magic on the Hammond?  For us it began with music systems offered by a company offering a wide variety of taped songs performed by a single artist.  The problem was that the company adhered rigidly to their policy of only renting - not selling either the tapes or the specialized equipment required to play them.  That was an example of short sighted marketing at a time when the public began purchasing eight tracks of the same songs sung by known artists.   Soon we added a cassette tape player and thought we had the world by the tail … until the advent of the CD.   Along with the wonders and fabulous sound quality of the systems that backed up the new technology, came the regulatory boards making certain that the artists were compensated for their efforts.  We gladly paid the annual fee.  And now, who can predict the next step?  I have already encountered families arriving with laptops programmed to the hilt with presentations of pictures set to music, the music for the service, for the reception and for the after-party at the family home … luckily we had the vision to purchase the docking equipment required to facilitate their needs.  Why shouldn’t we?  It’s readily available and they certainly have it at home.   Please don’t think I am hung up on the traditional stuff too much, but what has happened to the seriousness of funeral music?  How did we abruptly pass the melancholy of the dirge?  Funeral and wedding music often forged a strange fellowship but both have fallen to the ‘modern needs’ of today’s families.  Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’ has far outdistanced ‘Abide with Me’ and Lois Armstrong’s ‘What a Wonderful World’ has replaced “Beautiful Isle of Somewhere’ hands down.  Did I say ‘modern needs’ of today’s families?  Popular songs you say?  Popular when … 1969? When Willie Nelson sings of ‘All the Girls’ he has loved before, waves of giggles resonate through the chapel at the service for a confirmed bachelor.  Garth Brooks’ song ‘The Dance’ and Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ both speak of failed love, but who cares … the chorus has impact. So many inappropriate songs are used these days … and for whatever reasons we must arm our systems for R.E.M.’s ‘That’s Me in the Corner – Losing My Religion’, when requested. But we have the last laugh.  When they come for visitation they’re going to get tradition whether they like it or not … but chances are they like it because they heard it before at Granny’s service and it offered a comfort zone at that time.  ‘Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring’ with nature sounds … ‘Ave Maria’ with birdsong  … ‘She’s A Lady’ played on the … oh well … two out of three ain’t bad.   funeral industryrandy mccormick Tue, 13 May 2008 14:10:12 GMT Funeral Industry: Saying Goodbye is Hard and We Never Learn to be Good at It http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000233#00000233 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000233.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> We watch from the wings as grieving families act out their scenarios on the stage we provide but there is no acting involved, only RE-acting.  They are reacting to the gut wrenching reality that has become theirs.  It visits all and when our turn comes, one would think that a funeral professional should have a handle on the stages and the procedures.  Sadly, when our time comes to cross through the Valley of Shadows, we are no more prepared than others.   Funeral Industry: Saying Goodbye is Hard and We Never Learn to be Good at It By: Randy McCormick   Because of past experience we may know the mechanical process but the emotional process has no quick fix.  Years ago when I was doing weekly tours of the funeral home, I spoke of the ‘Four T’s’ and the concept seemed memorable to the young people. At the end, over juice and cookies, I would even do a little test … on the parents present … much to the delight of the children.   I don’t even remember where I first heard about them, but for me the ‘Four T’s are the things to remember.  Tears – Touch - Talk and Time. Tears flow and we see the world through new eyes.  In the first days shedding tears is about all we are able to do with any certainty.  Crying is best if you have someone to hold because touch reassures us that we are loved and safe.  When the opportunity is right, talking with a good listener is more healing than any magic potion from a drug bottle.  Then we are faced with the final and most important element, time.   Time is the ultimate healer and is necessary in order to get through the grieving process.  Time allows us to realize that we will never ‘get over it’ we will only ‘learn to live with it’.  Time teaches us that we cannot let loss rule our every move.  With the passage of time you get over the uncomfortable feeling of helplessness, push through the ‘I’m fine’ responses and resume a life that may have similar elements, but will be forever different. Funeral professionals help everyone around them … but when it comes to making funeral arrangements for their own … things are drastically different.  When making them for my own mother I felt strangely aloof.   I experienced the details as an onlooker watching a movie in which I was an actor and I must say I was a little freaked out by the experience.  I searched for the lesson and finally found it in the realization that my time on the ‘other side’ opened my eyes to ways in which others feel.   For me saying goodbye was hard and when the time came to deal with my father’s and later my mother-in-law’s death, I was back to square one.  I hadn’t retained any of the lessons I had learned from my earlier experience.  I concluded that we human beings really aren’t that good at learning how to say goodbye … but then … who wants to be good at a thing like that?  I’m content to let the Four T’s be the sum of what I need to remember. Now let’s do that test …   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industrysaying goodbyerandy mccormick Mon, 12 May 2008 13:25:43 GMT Funeral Industry: I Keep Hitting "Escape" But - I'm Still Here http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000231#00000231 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000231.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The office situations we dread most are the ones that begin with confrontation.  Whether in the arrangement room or in the coffee room; in the office or in the hearse on the way to the cemetery, there are situations from which we all wish we could escape.  The reality is that ‘Escape’ is not a solution.  Confrontation on an issue is often the only way that some people feel they can get our attention and they do not want us to run away.  What they really want is a clear explanation to help them see the issue as we do.         Funeral Industry: I Keep Hitting "Escape" But - I'm Still Here By: Randy McCormick When your dog escapes from the yard he does so because he simply wants out.  You can prevent him by increasing the height of the fence or planting a shrubbery moat, but people are different.  As humans we contrive much more sophisticated reasons to escape and can usually get around obstacles.  When there are relational demands at home or at work some of the mechanisms we use to escape can be highly addictive … gambling, work-ahol and alcohol etc. … but at the time they seem like viable alternatives.  In the funeral home setting the best way to put an issue to rest is to face it head on and resist the urge to escape.  If a customer takes you to task over something they perceive as problematic, I urge you to listen to them closely to identify the reasons for their complaint.  When you take that approach you put yourself in the role of parent, judge and teacher.  If you confront the issue by angrily setting your hair on fire you assume the role of immature, childish arrogant jerk.   If the confrontation is with a co-worker the same approach applies.  If it is important enough for them to mention, it is important enough for you to listen.  Listen with your heart as well as your ears and you will surely find the underlying reasons for their need to talk to you.  If YOU are at the root the unhappiness, don’t minimize or sever the precious line of communication that has been initiated.  Acknowledge that you hear the co-worker and would like a time to respond after you have digested the initial information.  THEN DO IT!  Too many times the opportunity to run, hide and complain to others about the situation is just another escape.   When it comes to solving home or office issues, people who resist hitting the ‘Escape’ button are usually more at peace with themselves and exude calm confidence, happiness and tolerance.  Others want to be around them.  They are generally healthier, more resilient and successful than those who find day-to-day life too mundane to deal with.  As we walk this pilgrim’s path of caring let us always to remember to listen to everyone around us.  It is just that easy.     <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeralindustryrandymccormickescape Fri, 09 May 2008 13:13:38 GMT Funeral Industry: Wisdom is The Reward For a Lifetime of Listening http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000230#00000230 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000230.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   The measure of a good funeral professional should be ear size.  We are constantly listening to others as they tell their story.  Maybe that’s why God gave funeral directors two ears, a trait that we share with the rest of humanity and most of the animal kingdom, but notice that we only have one mouth.  Wisdom sneaks up on us once we realize that listening is more important than talking.  In order to hear opportunity knocking, we must be listening, not talking.   Funeral Industry: Wisdom is The Reward For a Lifetime of Listening By: Randy McCormick   Listening can be a struggle because so many of us have spent years focusing on getting our own messages across rather than on fully understanding someone else’s. If you want to be a good listener, remember that listening involves hearing what the speaker is saying, understanding what you have heard and finally deciding if the speaker is making sense.   Remember: time is on your side! Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech. With practice, while you are listening you will also be able to think about what you are hearing … really understand it … and decide if feedback is called for. I will never forget the words of Professor Jaffa, “Listening can be like learning another language … most people are far more interested in what they  have to say rather than what others are saying to them.  Instead of listening carefully, many people subconsciously send the message … I want you to hurry up and shut up so I can talk … And while waiting for their turn to speak, people often don't pay attention to what others are saying. They're too busy organizing what they're going to say."  Jaffa is my ‘listening’ hero. To improve all sorts of relationships … Husbands and wives, parents and children, students and teachers, doctors and patients, and employees and bosses (and fellow employees) … try listening carefully. We all can benefit from paying closer attention to what each other has to say and … as a result … show respect to one another.  Listening over a lifetime really does impart wisdom.  Here are the ‘Listening’ Rules that have served me well over the years:  1.    Use good posture. 2.    Sit up straight and look directly at the speaker. 3.    Now and then, nod to show that you understand. 4.    At appropriate points smile, frown, laugh, or be silent. 5.    Listen with your face as well as your ears! 6.    Give your full attention on the person who is speaking. 7.    Make sure your mind is focused. 8.    Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk. 9.    Let yourself finish listening before you begin to speak.   10.Listen for main ideas. 11.Ask questions. A sense of peace will settle within your heart when you truly listen to what is being said.  I ask you to evaluate your listening skills and sharpen your shills now and then.  Be wise  … be a careful listener.   funeral industryrandy mccormickwisdom Thu, 08 May 2008 14:21:26 GMT Funeral Industry: The Sun Dries, Without Prejudice, The Garments of The Rich and Poor http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000228#00000228 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000228.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Each time a family enters a funeral home they are looking for help.  Every individual walking through the ‘Valley of the Shadow of Death’ should be welcomed equally.  Unlike the medical profession with its famous Hippocratic Oath, the funeral profession relies upon a series of unwritten standards that have survived the ages.  The understanding is that … as a result of our apprenticeships … we are all automatically aware of our obligations to humanity.  I hope this is true because ours is a heavy mandate.   Funeral Industry: The Sun Dries, Without Prejudice, The Garments of The Rich and Poor By: Randy McCormick As civilized human beings we all know, deep in our hearts, that the distinction between rich and poor is simply wrong.  Why then are we inclined to treat a first call from a Social Service Agency differently than the call from the upscale nursing home down the street?  It is human nature to want to put our best foot forward but why do we neglect polishing our shoes for some services?  The journey is the same for Prince or Pauper and we need to constantly remind ourselves of that fact.  We must remember that most poor people work hard at their one, two, or three jobs … but even if they are on the welfare roll, they are still grieving people who mourn just as their rich counterparts do. In the same way that Mother Earth provides for all life she spawns, we must remember to provide for all who come to us in their time of need.  Biblically we are reminded that the poor actually are the rich and will be the inheritors of the Kingdom of Heaven … that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God … So why the distinction in the world we live in?    I am not naive.   The answer is obvious … the bottom line … ‘Cash in Bank’ … drives the world, and by necessity of survival we are conditioned to worship at the same altar.   That does not mean that we should continue with our discrimination.  It only means that we should be sure that our best service is afforded to everyone, equally.  We may have to discount a few flowers or memorial cards but until we learn how to share the world, we will always be fighting over it. I close with a personal story.  Many years ago I was called upon to provide service for a sad hermit living on the periphery of a small northern community.  He was discovered dead because of the odour.  He had no friends or family to look in on him.  As I lay what remained of his body in the plain flat-top grey casket that welfare paid for, I was tempted to cart him off to the cemetery without ceremony and bury him quickly in the pauper’s grave provided by the local community.  Who would know?  Who would care? After dismissing that option, I called a minister and arranged a full service in the chapel.  A local organization agreed to honour this little man with a contingent of veterans.  I conducted a full service knowing that NO ONE would attended and was so moved by the experience that I snapped a Polaroid.   How surprised I was to be contacted by a high ranking official from a well known European country almost a year later.  It seems our little hermit was in actuality a Baron. Heartbroken, he had left his homeland in the 1930’s and his family had been searching for him ever since.  What a thrill it was for me to send them the picture I had snapped in my chapel.  The closure it gave resulted in the donation of a Civic Centre for the small community.  I will never forget the experience, nor should you.  Serve every family you deal with equally.  Pretend that funeral professionals have a universal equivalent of the famous Hippocratic Oath.  The sun dries, without prejudice, the garments of the rich and poor.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryconnectingdirectorsrandy mccormick Wed, 07 May 2008 12:54:09 GMT Bozone: The Substance Surrounding Stupid People That Stops Bright Ideas From Penetrating http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000227#00000227 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000227.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Not to be unkind, but there seems to be one in every office.  I am referring to the person who is always there to trash the new ideas.  Who knows, maybe you are the culprit.  There is always that person who just can’t fathom a fresh idea that didn’t originate in their court.  The old expression of being a ‘wet blanket at a beach party’ aptly describes them in brainstorming sessions but the sad thing is that most groups bow to their lack of insight, especially if the one surrounded by ‘BOZONE’ has any seniority. Funeral Industry: Bozone: The Substance Surrounding Stupid People That Stops Bright Ideas From Penetrating By: Randy McCormick   “Bozone (n)’ and the definition I used as the title comes from a Mensa word exercise in the New York Times, but I find it a brilliant adaptation of a word and I plan to use it.  The ‘bozone’ layer within some offices is more dangerous than anything nature can throw at us.  It halts creativity and forces the status quo upon everyone and everything it encounters.  It stifles new ideas that could possibly bring a business to the next level of success.   I can’t imagine where we all would be if the creator of this site were surrounded with a layer of ‘bozone’.  Where would Connecting Directors.com be today if Ryan didn’t have a firm understanding of the future needs of our profession?  When an individual has a vision and is surrounded by positive support … the sky is the limit.  When that same individual has a vision but is surrounded by nay-sayers … it is surely doomed.   Bright ideas are precious and should be nurtured with an atmosphere promoting even brighter insights, but they need the precious ‘light of life’ to allow healthy growth.  If they receive the affirmation that all new data requires, the possibility of the bright ideas becoming brilliant is greatly increased.  This is the way successful businesses become even more successful.  This is the manner in which prosperous people make the headlines of Fortune 500. There is no evidence to suggest that you should give credence to the ‘bozone’ in your office.  Those who feel they know ‘best’ have a way of bulldozing brilliant ideas into the recycle bin.  Don’t allow it to happen.  Identify the bozone in your life and be aware of the dangers.  You might be surprised … your limo driver or apprentice may come up with an idea that changes some aspect of your business.  Look for the ‘green light’ in all new ideas.  Minimize your chances of missing a brilliant insight …. and if you are the limo driver or apprentice, be aware of the ‘bozones’ at home discouraging you from sharing your ideas at staff meetings. Always remember that even if you do dial a wrong number, you shouldn’t get a busy signal … someone should always there to listen. <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryrandy mccormickstupid people Tue, 06 May 2008 13:07:34 GMT Funeral Industry: One Thing I Can Give and Still Keep... Is My Word http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000225#00000225 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000225.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> "I have been asked what I mean by word of honour.  I will tell you.  Place me behind prison walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick reaching ever so far into the ground and there is a possibility that I may be able to escape; but stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honour never to cross it.  Can I get out of that circle?   One Thing I can Give and Still Keep... Is My Word By: Randy McCormick   No, never!  I’d die first!” (Karl G. Maeser - educator).  I use the above quote to make the point that ‘our word’ becomes an enormous entity in our lives.  All we can hope for is this life is to be perceived as people of our word.   Our character develops as we journey.  Our word takes on gargantuan proportions as we set our foot on the path of life with friends.  We soon learn that we must not give our word foolishly and the great ‘Classroom of Life’ soon teaches us to discern the difference.  As children we often give our word to keep a secret.  There are times … when pressed by a parent about a buddy’s whereabouts … we suddenly realize that the pain caused by not coming clean about him sneaking off to the theatre, is more hurtful than the pain caused by breaking the promise.  Some promises shouldn’t be kept if the foolishness of the promise becomes obvious.  We give our word to our partners in wedding vows and our character is judged each time we stand by those promises … or not.  Likewise in business, our word becomes the personification of who we are.  If the business community sees that we are less than honourable in our dealings we soon become tarred with a black brush and the reputation endures.   As a general principal I agree that keeping our word is important but it seems to me that our wisdom of discernment is an equally important part of the equation. If I had given my word that I would remain within Maeser’s chalk circle, and someone standing just outside it began to molest my child, I would not hesitate to step out to intervene.  If I have promised a grandson that I will take him to the show and my granddaughter falls and breaks her arm, is it wrong to break my word so I can take her to the hospital?   I think not.  There can be extenuating circumstances that dictate that we use our abilities to discern, but I respect the premise … “A PERSON IS AS GOOD AS THEIR WORD’.   Your word is as tangible as your home or your business and is as concrete as your faith but you must remember to be kind to yourself … keep your word in all things of importance … but allow yourself the latitude to interpret the circumstances and discern the path to take.  Begin each day anew and forgive yourself the yesterdays.  Be well on your journey as you strive to ‘Give … and Keep’ your word.     <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a> funeral industryrandy mccormickconnectingdirectors Mon, 05 May 2008 13:23:10 GMT Funeral Industry: Doodle Your Way Into Creativity http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000223#00000223 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000223.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Ever sit in the lunch room with an idea that just won’t take shape?   Many years ago I discovered a way of exploring the potential of my creativeness.  I started scribbling picture-notes to myself.  That developed into doodling … shapes and lines around the words.  Have you ever thought of something (an idea) that would help you solve a problem, only to forget it later?   I find that doodling helps me remember.   Funeral Industry: Doodle Your Way Into Creativity By: Randy McCormick Imagine you are in charge of planning the staff party.  Different ideas come to you as you watch TV or walk through the mall, but when the day comes to put the plan into action, you just don’t remember the gems you thought of earlier when there was no pressure.  When you have a doodle pad around you help yourself remember the ideas as you have them.  You might surprise yourself with the number of ideas you actually come up with when you keep track of them. Doodle time is anytime. Set aside a pad of paper by the phone or on your desk.  Doodle while hanging out, watching TV, waiting for a download, listening to music, before bed, when you can't sleep … just doodle! You'll discover that an idea may come to you when you are eating breakfast, taking a shower, or taking the bus to work.  Figure out a way to get your ideas down.  I knew a person that carried a small pad of sticky notes and a pen around and jotted down ideas at all times of the day. We have all doodled, but probably called it drawing, sketching, or scribbling.  It is a good way to develop creative skills and just exercise your mind in a creative way. You may find that you need to give your mind a break from the many things you have to think about, so treat yourself to a little relaxing doodle time.  Have some simple fun with paper and a pencil.  There is no right, wrong, good, or bad doodling.  Everyone will have their own doodle style - covering a small or large area with light, dark, thick, thin lines, etc. Don't judge or have them judged, but take some time and interpret your doodles to see what you can find in them.  Haven’t we all looked up to the clouds and identified familiar shapes?  Do the same with your doodles.  You will find the ‘soul’ of your doodle if you try.  Don't be afraid to turn your page upside-down or from side-to-side. Help yourself by helping yourself.  Your workmates may take awhile to warm up to your new pastime but your doodles may be the key that unlocks the door … look for the answers to the problems you need to solve.  Risk a little and win a lot.  It can be just that easy.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryfuneral networkingrandy mccormick Fri, 02 May 2008 14:00:26 GMT Funeral Industry: Do Stupid Things Faster With More Energy: Drink Coffee http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000222#00000222 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000222.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Millions of people around the world love nothing more than to start their day with a steaming cup of coffee. The smell, the taste, the caffeine lift and the shared experience of coffee have become a staple of our modern life and culture.  In addition, there is information available saying that drinking coffee may have benefits for health and well being.  The jury is still out for me because of the way it has taken to upsetting my stomach of late.  Here are my Pros and Cons on the subject.   Funeral Industry: Do Stupid Things Faster With More Energy: Drink Coffee By: Randy McCormick   At University I was a true coffee hound.  It seemed to help improve my alertness, attention and wakefulness.  When study became tedious and boring, coffee helped give me the energy to buckle down.  The trend continued as I worked a night shift.  I found that the effects of coffee seemed to increase my concentration and enabled me to perform at levels similar to my colleagues working during the daytime.  My pupils were dilated and I was jack-rabbit edgy, but what the heck! In later years whenever I had a lunch meeting I found that coffee helped restore my levels of alertness and improved my afternoon performance and mood.  Coffee helped with that after-lunch-drowsy spell and was just what I needed to get through the second half of the working day!  There is peace knowing that coffee offers some benefits to our health but these results should not be interpreted as an incentive to increase daily coffee intake. Too much coffee may actually increase the risk of heart disease for some.  Most people are aware of the ill affect of drinking coffee because it contains caffeine.  The caffeine in coffee belongs to the same alkaloid group of chemicals as morphine, cocaine and strychnine.  Actually, coffee is a narcotic beverage. It is no surprise that people have such a difficult time letting go of coffee and replacing it with healthier beverages.  The end results are tension, mild rise in blood pressure, a craving for sweets 2-3 hours later, low energy and low mood levels. Regular use of coffee may prevent some of the nutrients in your food from being absorbed effectively in your small intestines, which leads to further vitamin and mineral deficiencies. "The "buzz" you get from coffee actually contributes to re-bound fatigue when the stimulating effects wear off.   Enjoy your morning coffee; just don’t ask me to join you.  I prefer to get my ‘buzz’ with an exercise session or a public speaking engagement. When I look at all the Pros and Cons of coffee drinking, I know where I stand on the issue but I encourage you to do your own research. Oh and by the way – Google ‘Coffee Cleanse’ to explore … in my opinion … the best use for coffee.     funeral industrygoogle Thu, 01 May 2008 07:40:15 GMT Funeral Industry: The Mind, Like a Parachute, Only Functions When Open http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000221#00000221 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000221.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Have your ideas been born of decades of tradition? Has the gray matter of your brain set like so much concrete?  Have you been challenged lately to see things in a different light?  What innovative ideas speak to you?  Have you had an experience lately that made you look at yourself differently?  These are all questions that indicate an open or closed mind.  Even the most set-in-their-way curmudgeons can develop an open mind but the exercises require work.   Funeral Industry: The Mind, Like a Parachute, Only Functions When Open By: Randy McCormick   I have formed the following notes from many sources over the years. These are going to come at you rapid fire and they are extensive … so … keep an open mind and I will be proud of you if you can try at least two of them.  Begin by saying out loud that you will stop yourself before quickly deciding AGAINST doing something new. This vocal affirmation will help you to challenge yourself more often.  So … Are you ready?   Get set!   GO!   Every decision you make in life is based on your belief system. To open your mind, start to list your fundamental beliefs, and for each one ask yourself why you believe it. Then ask yourself whether you could imagine being you if you didn't exactly believe it any more, but believed something marginally different. Pick a belief a week and work at it. Ask some really good friends what they believe and how they acquired their beliefs. Understand this - your belief system is absolutely unique to you. Your friend's belief system is unique to them. An open mind is comfortable with differences, and also a variety of lenses to view an issue.  Here's a hard but effective method: take a controversial issue that you have a strong opinion about. Write an essay defending your opinion with as much evidence and actual citations as possible. Then write another essay defending the other side, again with evidence and citations, considering that side's arguments seriously and being scrupulously honest and putting in as much effort as you did the first essay.  Stimulate your ears in new ways.  Listen to a radio station you typically don't listen to. Stimulate your eyes in new ways. Go to a cheap or free art gallery. Learn about different people and lifestyles. A great gateway into this is <a href="http://www.wikipedia.org%22%20%5Co%20%22http//www.wikipedia.org">Wikipedia</a>.  If you exercise by jogging, biking, or walking, find new routes. Join clubs based on things you have no knowledge of, such as a <a href="http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrabble%22%20%5Co%20%22wikipedia:Scrabble">Scrabble</a> Club.  Do crossword puzzles every day possible.   Learn how to write backwards. Leonardo DaVinci, the quintessential Renaissance man and a jack-of-all-trades, wrote all of his notes backwards so that they could only be read with a mirror. Try writing upside down. It’s not as hard as it might seem; you'll soon get the hang of it.  On weekends, try wearing clothes which you would never wear otherwise.   Browse <a href="http://wikihow.com%22%20%5Co%20%22http//wikihow.com">wikiHow</a> and do things that you find there. Watch shows that you don't watch or that you often discriminate against.  Try foods you have never tried. Have you ever tasted a <a href="http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boba%22%20%5Co%20%22wikipedia:Boba">Boba</a>? A shot of <a href="http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheatgrass%22%20%5Co%20%22wikipedia:Wheatgrass">Wheatgrass</a>?   Learn <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Spin-a-Pencil-Around-Your-Thumb%22%20%5Co%20%22Spin%20a%20Pencil%20Around%20Your%20Thumb">How to Spin a Pencil Around Your Thumb</a>.    Rotate your own tires. Learn to <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Juggle%22%20%5Co%20%22Juggle">juggle</a> ... it’s a great workout for your brain, eyes and reflexes.  Learn to write with your opposite hand or try to do other things with the wrong hand like ping-pong.  Try making something new in the kitchen.  If you never play video games, play them every once in a while. Sure it looks mindless and you may yell at your kids for doing so, but believe it or not, video games can stimulate a wide variety of brain activity.  Try blocking out one of your senses. Perform an everyday activity … like using your cell phone … with a blindfold. It puts things in perspective when you are forced to "create" new ways of doing things you've already figured how to do. Learn <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Read-12-Digit-UPC-Barcodes%22%20%5Co%20%22Read%2012%20Digit%20UPC%20Barcodes">How to Read 12 Digit UPC Barcodes</a>. Write some poetry. Learn a second language.  Turn off the TV and have a short conversation with the person seated next to you. Learn a musical instrument, the drums the banjo the tin whistle.  Learn and memorize ALL the lyrics to your favorite song.  The basic principle of this whole exercise is to try and be open, discover new things, learn new skills, and discover many unusual and wonderful facts, pastimes and skills.  Feel free to be creative, impulsive and open. Try things which aren't listed here. Be safe. Know your limits and push them gently. When adding to this list, keep in mind that it is an instructional guide not a list of weird things to do.  Good luck with opening up your mind.   Like I said … do yourself a favour and try at least two of the above.    <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a>   funeral industryrandy mccormickconnectingdirectors Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:02:39 GMT Funeral Industry: Stupidity is Not a Handicap. Park Elsewhere! http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000220#00000220 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000220.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   The parking spots outside most offices are clearly marked these days.  There are spots for regular parking, there may be spots reserved for small cars but most assuredly there is a spot reserved for handicap parking.  Parking arrangements are usually well thought out and often regulated by stringent codes.  Why do some people ignore the signs?   Funeral Industry: Stupidity is Not a Handicap. Park Elsewhere! By: Randy McCormick What makes some motorists feel they are entitled to leave their vehicle anywhere they wish?  We have all observed perfectly fit young men and women parked in designated handicap spots because they are much closer to the door.  Without so much as an apology, they pretend to be in a rush as they enter the building … but upon entry it is business as usual … no thought for the next car carrying the old couple in wheelchairs … they should have been here first I guess…  now they must park on the street.   Malls are the best places to observe flagrant violations.  I have parked with a cup of coffee just to observe the passing parade.  The most entertaining is the person who parks in the spot, then exits the car limping.  The limp only lasts until they approach the mall doors … after all … it wouldn’t be right to have anyone else know they had stooped to that level.  If challenged, the offending parker usually chastises the mall for not making the signs clearer and threatens legal action if they are towed. The following is information of interest.  I believe the group called <a href="http://www.handicappedfraud.org">www.handicappedfraud.org</a> is effective in the general community ... but  I would personally find it difficult to blow the whistle on an abuser in my parking lot.  The group has made signinficant strides towards cutting down misuse of designated handicap parking areas.  Handicappedfraud.org was launched as a community service effort to end the misuse of handicapped parking spaces and placards. The disabled have run out of places to park, as their designated handicapped parking spaces are being taken by fraudulent individuals.   Communities have now become the ambassadors for some cities, and report handicapped parking violators when they see them.  From manners to language, attitude to education, today’s customers could use a few pointers.  Handicap parking means something more than ‘Oh, I’ll just be in the bank a minute so it’s OK to park here.’  Outside our funeral homes, the handicap parking signs mean more than ‘There are no other spaces available.’  Perhaps one day the offenders will have the opportunity to curse the driver who has usurped a handicapped spot … their spot.    funeral industryrandy mccormickconnectingdirectors Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:07:42 GMT Miss Smith’s ‘Fish Sauce Shop’ Seldom Sells Shellfish http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000219#00000219 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000219.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> As times change the public you serve demands more and more of your marketing.  Out of self defense you suddenly find yourself stocking products that you previously did not consider seriously.  Today’s funeral professionals operate within a far wider marketplace than in the past and the products offered reflect many eclectic requests.   Miss Smith’s ‘Fish Sauce Shop’ Seldom Sells Shellfish By: Randy McCormick A family residing in New York comes to make arrangements for their mother.  In their urban centre, rosaries constructed of flowers are popular but you have never heard of them.  Upon researching the request you find that the rosary is actually just a series of small clips on a chain and you order one for them.  The supplier informs you of their minimum and you end up with six.  Using artificial flowers, you put one in the display area and the next Catholic family you serve buys it … all six are gone in a week and the result is a healthy net profit in your coffers.  By accident you have added new merchandise to your showroom. An out-of-town family inquires about your selection of Teddy Bears.  You scratch your head when they share that the cuddly bears are a staple in funeral homes in their area as keepsake urns.  You Google the concept and find the company that sells the adorable bears with the heart-shaped keepsake urn in a Velcro pocket.  You order one and are informed of the minimum order.  RELUCTANTLY you order six and by the end of the month you have added another product to your urn display.  They become so popular that you are now selling up to three per service … one for each member of the family.  Parents suffering the loss of a newborn express their appreciation.  By happen-stance you have added another product to your line. I could go on about ‘Urn-Candles’, ‘Casket Quilts’ and ‘Soil from the Holy Land’ but I am sure you get my point. Because of the Internet, your market place is morphing at warp speed and you need to constantly have your antenna up if you want to be at the cutting edge of profit inducing trends.  At all costs, avoid the product that makes you shake your head, but remember the clip-on rosary before you totally discount it.   … And by the way … I just couldn’t resist the tongue-twisting title for this marketing blog.  Say that one five times before you rush to the bank with a wheelbarrow full of “Teddy-Bear-Profits’. <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> <a href="/igroops/connectdirectors/adminpages/FuneralStaff">Click Here</a> for Industry Job Openings funeral industryrandy mccormickconnectingdirectors Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:04:18 GMT Funeral Industry: Not All Superheroes Wear Capes http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000215#00000215 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000215.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The frail widow clutches a Kleenex like a life line as she speaks of the three-year journey she has traveled.  The cancer diagnosis was devastating to her husband and he made no attempts to mask the fact.  He remained pleasant in public but alone became moody, mean and miserable.  In the beginning he slipped into depression and didn’t speak for weeks on end.  Medication only aggravated the cancer treatment.  Trapped in the proverbial ‘burning house’ she prayed for release.   Funeral Industry: Not All Superheroes Wear Capes By: Randy McCormick Who do you look up to?  Who is your mentor?  I hope you can answer that question without even thinking.  You have your superheroes and I have mine but we must consider the ones we serve each day.  Our offices are crammed with them. The frail widow clutches a Kleenex like a life line as she speaks of the three-year journey she has traveled.  The cancer diagnosis was devastating to her husband and he made no attempts to mask the fact.  He remained pleasant in public but alone became moody, mean and miserable.  In the beginning he slipped into depression and didn’t speak for weeks on end.  Medication only aggravated the cancer treatment.  Trapped in the proverbial ‘burning house’ she prayed for release. The grandmother sits as you ask the questions.  What is your grandchild’s name?  When was he born?  Which hospital is he in?  What is his doctor’s name?  She has come to preplan her seven year old grandson’s funeral because her daughter is such a mess.  While at a crosswalk in a school zone, the child was struck by a drunk driver.  The family is having difficulties removing life support.   The middle-aged woman stands in a corner of your office crying.  Her husband has just died and she is feeling guilty.  Early Onset Alzheimers struck its savage blow when he was just 47 and she has had five years of hell watching as her life partner was ravaged by the cruel disease.  She didn’t go to visit him yesterday as she had every day for the past 1,460 days of his confinement … yes she had counted every one like a prisoner serving a life sentence …  He died overnight.   A nineteen year old guy asks you to put a ring into the casket with the young girl killed in a car crash.  He asks you not to tell her dad.  There was a grad party and she had caught a ride home with a girlfriend.  The girlfriend missed a bridge exit.  He hands me a diamond ring, carefully chosen … purchased with money saved from his job pumping gas.  He was going to ask her to marry him.  A dream life in the making … now commemorated by a small diamond ring in a pink box … a pink box that he will remember on his deathbed. We see them every day.  We meet them where they are and we listen with ears of wonder.  Not all superheroes wear capes, but they do change our lives.   <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> <a href="/igroops/connectdirectors/adminpages/FuneralStaff">Click Here</a> to view Funeral Industry Job Openings   funeral industry Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:08:09 GMT Funeral Industry: Make Yourself at Home: Clean Our Kitchen http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000214#00000214 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000214.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Is there a more disgusting experience than walking into a reception area and finding an unkempt kitchen?  Soiled cloths hanging to dry over faucets and coffee cups stacked in the sink speak of a lack of discipline by employees in any business.  It may be convenient to toss the cloth used to wipe up an office spill into the sink closest to the disaster, but it is unsightly and indicates a complete disregard for paying customers.  Accumulations of staff lunch utensils fall into the same category.       Funeral Industry: Make Yourself at Home: Clean Our Kitchen By: Randy McCormick Our customers spring from every cleaning philosophy on the planet … ranging from sloth to obsessive-compulsive … so we never can predict how our own sanitary conditions will be perceived.  I prefer to assume that each person passing through my public areas … especially those involving food preparation … is a health inspector.   I assume that each lady will see the kitchen sinks through my picky Aunt Mabel’s eyes.  It is not difficult to assume a regular routine and solicit cooperation of the ENTIRE staff if you post your expectations in the area used to store cleaning supplies.  Even a temporary employee can be aware of your kitchen customs.  The following is our list of expectations.     Floors: Floors swept and damp mopped with disinfectant after each service. Disposal Containers: Disposal containers emptied and kept clean and sanitary at all times. Tables and Chairs: Tables washed and chairs straightened and wiped off. Cabinets: Cabinets dusted and wiped down. Counter/Sink: Countertops washed off and sinks cleaned. Refrigerator: Wiped down and checked for left-over food.   Water Dispensers: Public water machines cleaned regularly. Microwave: Microwave cleaned. Dishwasher:  Emptied after each use.   Upholstered Furniture: All upholstered furniture brushed off and vacuumed regularly. Vinyl/Leather Furniture: All vinyl/leather furniture dusted and wiped off. Walls: Monthly complete cleaning of the walls. Marks removed from around light switches, door handles, etc. as necessary. Windows: Windows washed as needed. Trash Containers: Trash containers emptied and trash placed in designated dumpster. Trash liners replaced as needed. Recycling Containers: Recycling containers emptied and put into designated dumpster. Ash Trays: Any ash trays emptied and wiped out with a damp cloth. Optional Services: Carpet cleaning and tile floor buffing arranged as required. You should feel as good inviting guests into your reception rooms as you would about welcoming them into your home.  Never forget that the time a family spends entertaining THEIR friends needs to be done in the most sanitary and tidy conditions possible.  Your home becomes their home for a few short hours.  Be proud of your facility … and pray that you never walk in and find Aunt Mabel cleaning your sink.     <a href="Http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> <a href="/igroops/connectdirectors/adminpages/FuneralStaff">Click Here</a> for Job Openings provided by Funeral Staff, LLC funeral industryrandy mccormickhome Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:12:21 GMT Funeral Industry: Brainstorming... http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000212#00000212 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000212.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Do you need to add new energy to your business?  Do you need to find new ways to increase your outreach within the community? Funeral homes and their surroundings can become stale after awhile and that is why brainstorming sessions are so important.  I agree that … like McDonalds … if you have a good thing happening DON’T CHANGE IT - but there are still things that can be re-thought.   Taking the pulse of the business through a brainstorming session can be helpful for the entire staff.       Funeral Industry: Brainstorming By: Randy McCormick   Brainstorming is a great way to come up with ideas.  The goal is to come up with a long list of "madcap thoughts" as it gets people thinking in ways they normally don't.  It is important to have fun and not criticize.  Never say, "What a stupid idea" because a good think-tank is meant to cover both ends of the spectrum and everything in between.  No ideas should be trashed at the time of offering and no idea is too wild to write down.  At this stage they are all good thoughts. The basic rule of a brainstorming session is: QUANTITY, not quality.  It is important to generate as much as possible.  Don't worry how good the ideas are at this stage and … it matters not who came up with the thought first.  Let the group take ownership of the brainstorming session. Here are the Mind Tools Essentials for conducting a productive brainstorming meeting: •    Clearly define the problem you want solved. •    Keep the session focused on the problem. •    Ensure that no one criticizes or evaluates ideas during the session. Criticism introduces an element of risk for group members when putting forward an idea. This stifles creativity and cripples the free running nature of a good brainstorming session; •    Encourage an enthusiastic, uncritical attitude among members of the group. Try to get everyone to contribute and develop ideas, including the quietest members of the group; •    Let people have fun brainstorming. Encourage them to come up with as many ideas as possible, from solidly practical ones to wildly impractical ones. Welcome creativity. •    Ensure that no train of thought is followed for too long. •    Encourage people to develop other people's ideas, or to use other ideas to create new ones. •    Appoint one person to note down ideas that come out of the session. A good way of doing this is to use a flip chart. This should be studied and evaluated after the session. In my personal experience brainstorming in the office setting is great, but I have had equally as much success in holding outdoors or walking sessions (bring along a portable recording device).  Don’t feel that only ONE person is in charge of coming up with ideas for growing the business, improving profits or choosing a location for the staff barbecue.  Invite everyone along for the ride.  Brainstorming is fun.   <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> funeral industryfuneralindustryconnectingdirectorsrandy mccormick Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:14:16 GMT Funeral Industry: SECRET... Something You Tell to One Person at a Time http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000210#00000210 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000210.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> How easy it is to sit in the local coffee shop with another staff member and talk about the day.   How easy it is to share a laugh, forgetting that you are in a public place BUT that lady pallbearer WAS a sight in those FOUR INCH spikes as she maneuvered the goose poop on the way to the graveside.  How are you to know the person behind you is her next door neighbour?  How easy it is to forget that the man at the next table could be the next person deciding which funeral home to use.       Funeral Industry: SECRET... Something You Tell to One Person at a Time By: Randy McCormick   It is not easy to maintain confidences and still remain human within the parameters of the funeral profession.  It is human nature to share experiences and if the listener is intent and you are in a corner at a party it is tempting to tell the story that you are being pressed to share.  In the office setting, sidestepping leading questions it is even trickier … especially when asked by peripheral family members that you may have served in other situations. … “Is Auntie going to be buried wearing that big diamond ring that actually belongs to our mother?”  How easy it is to say ‘yes’ and ignite a powder keg rather than referring the question to the family member who asked you to put it on.  Maybe not confidences, but sensitive situations lurk within most everything we are requested to do.   I can’t begin to list the confidences I have been party to as funeral professional, but I CAN list the number of times on one hand that I have ever broken one.  For any who are surprised that I have broken a confidence, I must plead extenuating circumstances but I have never broken a confidence with anyone outside a family unit.  I have permission to share the following story.    While dressing a lady entrusted to my care, I noticed something unusual about a very old … but very elegant … long skirt I was to use.  The lady had set aside her burial clothes decades ago.  Over the years the garment had become moth eaten and I detected large bulges in the material.  Upon inspection the reason for the bulging was apparent.  Without opening any seams, it was apparent that the slip contained large sums of cash.  I felt duty bound to share with the executor.  I made a decision and called the family … breaking the confidence of a ‘voice from the grave’.  How thankful they were that I did.  Upon inspection, we found over $180,000.00 in uncirculated 1947 to 1945 bills of all denominations including over ninety-seven one thousand dollar bills.  They had wondered for years about the proceeds from the cash sale of a property in the fifties… they suspected a gambling problem.  An eccentric streak had allowed the lady to live … and die … in devastating poverty.  The family was thankful for my call.  My decision to break that ‘confidence from the grave’ was the right one under the circumstances. Remember to honour the secrets you are entrusted to keep.  Strive to maintain that confidences that you are party to.  Your reputation … and your own peace of mind is at stake.   <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> funeral industryrandy mccormicksercretconnectingdirectors Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:12:10 GMT Funeral Industry: Are You Doing The Right Job? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000208#00000208 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000208.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> We all assume that we have chosen the perfect occupation and we attack our everyday lives with a zest and vigour that speaks of total harmony with all the elements of our being.  Is that the case for you or do you find yourself dragging out of bed, approaching work with apprehension and plodding through the day waiting for it all to end?   Funeral Industry: Are You Doing The Right Job? By: Randy McCormick   I think all young people within this profession need to assess their situations on a regular basis.  A very important concept to think about when you are exploring career opportunities is the "job fit" or how the job suits you.  You know how clothes need to fit properly for you to look good and feel good? Well, a job also has to "fit" with to make you look good at what you do and feel good too.  With clothes, you can change very easily until you feel good. Now, a job can be changed also, but not as easily as clothing and it is much more disruptive to your life, as well as those around you.  When you go to make a clothing choice, you have a pretty good idea about what works for you. You take the time to try different choices before you buy and you may even ask the opinion of a friend, family member or sales person.  Settling on a career is not as easy. I have a friend who had a vision of holding an administrative position in a funeral home.  At the end of the third day, he had feelings about having made a mistake … but decided to give it a bit longer before making the final judgement.  At the end of the fourth day he was anxious and unhappy … about both the work situation and the people he was working with.  I am pleased to say that he took charge of his own life and quit.  If more people did the same we could avoid many unhappy office situations. An important thing to keep in mind is that a "job fit" is much more important than the money you make.  Money is an important part of most jobs, but don't let it be the only deciding factor.  If someone tells you that a certain job is for you because of the money, benefits or perks, ask them why it pays so well and what things they have to sacrifice to do the job. They may be happy about the money, but are they really a happy person that you respect and want to live like? The key is to find a great job that pays adequately and is the right fit for you. Here are some guidelines I offered my own children many years ago.   Can you do the work? Will you enjoy doing it?  Will it challenge you?  What responsibility will you have? Will you get to do what you love to do? Will the work prepare you for the next step in your career? How does management treat you?  Do you trust them? Are they good managers? Can you learn from them? Do you have anything in common? Will they provide enough coaching and feedback?  How will they help you do your job?  How will you know that you have done a good job? Will the work environment be fun?  What are the people that work there like?  What is the office space like and does it fit your style?  Are the working hours flexible?  What will be the level of skill development? What is a typical day like?  Would you feel comfortable working in their office setting? How do people get along together? Is the company successful? Is the company respected by employees, customers and the industry? Are the salary and benefits packages competitive?  Will the organization be competitive long term?  Do you believe in the organization's products, services and mission statement? ……………….. This post is not only intended to prod the minds of those wanting to get into business, but those who have been in it awhile.  My friend who found out about the funeral profession in four days was lucky.  He has a great life happening for him right now.  It is never too late to assess your life … beginning with the question … Are YOU doing the right job?     <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> funeral industryrandy mccormickconnectingdirectors Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:05:31 GMT Funeral Industry: How Do You Know That You Are Stressed? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000206#00000206 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000206.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The funeral profession has to be one of the most stressful occupations on this planet.  The simple matter of taking a first call would be enough to put most people into a state of depression, but the funeral professional handles it on a daily basis.  Each time you walk through the morgue door and accept the scenario laid out before you as ‘normal’ you store stuff in your subconscious that lurks until enough builds up to become a problem.  I am sure there are very few funeral homes out there offering a staff debriefing session on a regular basis so you need to take ownership of your stress issues.  Funeral Industry: How Do You Know That You Are Stressed?By: Randy McCormick  Stress does all kinds of things to you.  It makes you tired and edgy.  It makes you impatient and short with people and disrupts your sleeping.  There are many frightening statistics that will tell you the growing number of sick days of workers, lost jobs, serious illness and a shorter life are attributed to stress.  Your body reacts in a number of ways. Here are some facts about stress that my personal physician shared with me many years ago.  You need to be aware that first a chemical called adrenaline speeds up your body system,•   your eyes dilate, •    your muscles get tense, •    your breathing gets faster, •    your heart pounds faster, •    your stomach gets butterflies, •    your hands get cold, •    your feet get cold.I am not able to cover all the things YOU can do to alleviate your stress with a few select words, but I can briefly touch on a few.   EXERCISE is Key.  You will find that a very important way to reduce stress is to exercise.  Exercise is to your body as soap is to dirt; it kind of cleans your body of stress. Stress is tension in your nervous system and tends to be relieved through exercise.DRINK LOTS OF WATER.  Hydrating your system is one of the easiest ways of reducing stress.  Water seems to do amazing things to nerve tissue and I wonder why funeral directors don’t have it on their desks at all times. BE PREPARED. You will quickly find out that when you are prepared for a situation you will be less stressed.  You are usually extremely uneasy when you are late.  What do you think would happen in this situation, if you leave early enough to get to your destination well in advance of your planned arrival time?  Less stress equals a more effective funeral director. The following are a few ways I deal with stress without going to a shrink.  I try to exercise daily for at least 20 minutes because exercise keeps my head clear and helps me relax.  I do breathing exercises and take some time out and take a few slow deep breaths.  While I am doing the breathing exercises, I try to think about something that takes my mind away from my stressful situation. I strive to eat a balanced diet. I find that if I eat properly I give my body a fighting chance to deal with stress because I am aware that certain foods affect my nerves and increase my stress. If all else fails, I suggest talking to someone who is trained in dealing with de-stressing techniques.  Surprisingly, this person can also become your best advocate in the community.  I contracted a local minister who had stress management experience to come to our funeral home on a weekly basis to talk to our staff. The sessions were private and no confidences were broken but I did notice that sick days and headaches were reduced.  As for that minister ... she was so impressed that we were actually taking time to care for our selves … that she doubled her word-of-mouth praises for our funeral home and soon other businesses were contacting me about helping them set up a program.  Talk about unexpected advertising! Don’t let stress get the better of you.   Identify areas of concern and manage your business life well.  It’s just that easy. <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> funeral industryrandy mccormickconnectingdirectors.comfuneral blog Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:25:23 GMT Are You a Good Leader? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000205#00000205 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000205.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Do you feel that you have the drive, courage and conviction required to be a truly effective leader?  Every one has the potential and you can become one if you make the choice to develop the characteristics required.  If you are aware of what you need to be like to lead, you can practice and learn to be a leader. Following are a few of the paramount qualities of being a leader, but there are many more. Are You a Good Leader?By: Randy McCormick  No matter what the profession, business leaders need to be flexible and entrepreneurial, yet have a strong sense of direction.  They must be able to delegate decision-making authority down through the ranks, yet in the end, they do have to be decisive and take ownership of mistakes.  Leadership encompasses employees at all levels of an organization.  It is more of a role that a position and leadership should be recognized throughout the office. Here are a few of my personal (but not unique) criteria for being a good leader or for determining those skills in others.A leader has to have passion, energy and the ability to excite others.  They need to have an enormous amount of personal energy and have the ability to motivate and energize others in an infectious way. They need a competitive spirit and must be able to deliver results.  Leadership implies a high level of integrity and an abundance of business acumen … in other words – the leader needs to know what they are talking about.  Good leaders need to be able to embrace change, have a sense of humour and be good communicators … in particular, good listeners.Volunteering makes you a leader because as you volunteer you give of yourself for the good of others.  A coach becomes the leader by helping others develop their skills, but leadership can be elusive unless you self assess now and then.  The following is a simplified ‘Leadership IQ’ test that I share with permission.  Try it if you wish, but remember that you show leadership each time you take responsibility and get something done.   Approach your day with enthusiasm and speak up … lead the way!Leadership IQ Test (with permission – Dr. P Brown)I am providing you with a little test to help you determine how much of a leader you are now.  It is always important to access yourself by being honest and helping yourself determine areas that require improvement.  We all have room for improvement.Give yourself one point (1) if you answer yes to the question all of the time, give yourself a zero (o) if you answer yes to the question sometimes, and take away one points (-1) if you answer no to question all the time.  Grab a piece of paper and write down your points for each question. Give some thought before you answer, and be honest! Questions -I respond to situations in a very flexible way. -I take advantage of good luck circumstances. -I can make sense out of ambiguous or contradictory messages.-I can recognize the importance of different elements of a situation-I can find similarities between situations despite differences that may separate them.-I can draw distinctions between situations despite similarities that may link them.-I can come up with new concepts by taking old concepts and putting them together in new ways. -I can come up with new ideas. When you are finished, add up your points.   If you scored four or more points, you are probably a leader. If you scored two or three points, you have good leadership potential.   If you score one or fewer, you have some work to do on your leadership skills. <a href="/members/connectdirectors+invite"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/invitead.gif" border="0" alt="invitead.gif" title="invitead.gif" /></a> funeral industry blograndy mccormickconnectingdirectors Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:15:52 GMT Don't Be Late http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000204#00000204 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000204.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> From your first day in the funeral profession your education began and it always started with the lesson … NEVER BE LATE.   If anything, you were encouraged to arrive early enough to deal with unanticipated situations.  One of the most important skills you learn in this business is the skill of being early or at least arriving before you are expected. You not only benefit from this in your professional life but also in your daily life because once you have this basic skill mastered you begin to reduce stress and become more organized and productive.   Don't Be LateBy: Randy McCormick  The above lesson is often lost on families you deal with and so you must exercise diplomatic and patient tolerance to understand their perception of time.  They are on G S T … better known as ‘Grief Standard Time’.  How often have you been asked to be prepared for a viewing at noon and the family doesn’t arrive until ten minutes before the service at 2:00?   Of course you understand the G S T issues and accept the fact that the traffic jam was probably harder on them then it was on you as you waited in the comfort of your office.  Forgive them their struggles with the clock in their time of need and concentrate on your own responsibilities.Now, back to your own issues:  Post the following reasons for not being late in your coffee room. •    Respect for other peoples time •    Show that you care enough to be on time, •    Reduce stress from hurrying while you are late, •    Leave time to organize yourself and thoughts before you are expected, •    Give yourself time to prepare before you leave - once you are late you rush and forget things etc.To this day I can remember a tradition from my days in the North.  When a death occurred in one particular ethnic area, family and friends would gather at a major rural crossroad and follow the funeral coach in procession to the church.  Our drive to this predetermined spot was specifically timed and our approach could be observed on the horizon for at least two miles.  Talk about timing.  I can’t recall one time that we were we late, but I do recall many times of travelling 5 miles per hour just to arrive as the clock struck the hour.  I can’t imagine what would have happened if we ever had been late as there were often 100 cars idling at the side of the highway. The next time you are planning to go somewhere - plan for some ‘just in case time’ or time for the ‘unexpected’.  You never know when that flat tire is going to mess up your plans and if you want to remain professional in the eyes of your customer … Don’t Be Late! <a href="/members/connectdirectors+invite"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/invitead.gif" border="0" alt="invitead.gif" title="invitead.gif" /></a> funeral industryfuneral blograndy mccormickconnecting directors Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:09:08 GMT Toys in The Kid's Play Area http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000203#00000203 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000203.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> How proud we are of our inclusiveness.  “We encourage you to involve your children in the grief process.  Your children are welcome and we even have a special play area designed with them in mind.”  Well … now let’s add the rest of the story …  Toys in The Kid's Play AreaBy: Randy McCormick   “We have an entire toy box full of blocks, hand puppets and other educational wonders that haven’t been washed or cleaned since 1996 when we first purchased them.  We certainly hope that your little one doesn’t come down with a cold or a bad flu bug, but yesterday they were all sucked on by a two year old that … and the entire staff agrees … should have been hospitalized.  But … rather than washing them, we just stuffed them back in the box for your little one to play with when you next visit our establishment.” Like that is ever going to happen.   We must take ownership of the sanitization of the germ-ridden areas of our funeral homes.   We scrub and disinfect the toilets and we sanitize the tabletops in the reception area but, why do we ignore such a blatantly obvious area of concern?  I have similar thoughts about magazines in public waiting areas but … short of burning them … they are impossible to disinfect.  There is an easy solution for the toy box dilemma. When choosing toys, make certain that everything you place in the box will survive a dishwasher cycle.  At the time you do the clean up after a service, check the toy box to see if it has been used.  If it has, put everything in a mesh bag and plunk it in with the dishes.  If that isn’t possible, commit the toys to their own load.  It may not be a perfect solution, but it is much better than not doing anything month after month, year after year.   I hope YOU do not feel offended over my assumption that no one bothers to sanitize the contents of their toy box, but I have not found anyone yet who has given it much thought.  The next time a family brings their little darling, complete with running nose and rheumy eyes, ask yourself this … would I want my child sucking on the same toy?  If the answer is ‘no’ then consider doing something positive about the problem.   Then take the next step.  Make the move work for your business.  Tell your families … “For your peace of mind, we sanitize everything in this toy box each time it is used, just to protect your child from those ever-present germs.”  Then challenge them on their next visit to the dentist or doctor’s office to ask if they offer the same courtesy.  I guarantee that you will look like the ‘Mother Theresa’ of concern and will be talked up in the community whenever and wherever parents gather. <a href="/members/connectdirectors+invite"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/invitead.gif" border="0" alt="invitead.gif" title="invitead.gif" /></a> Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:23:42 GMT Whats Right ... Whats Wrong? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000200#00000200 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000200.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Sometimes we become so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget WHAT’S right and what’s WRONG.  In everyday funeral home life the scenarios we encounter can be overwhelming.  Legal dilemmas manifest themselves at every fork in the road and we are often left to untangle ‘right from wrong’ situations.  How do YOU handle this onerous task?  What's Right ... What's Wrong?By: Randy McCormick I am sure you have all dealt with the sister-brother act where one despises the other and now that the parent has died, sibling rivalry rears its ugly head.  Each hostile situation of the past thirty years comes home to roost … right there in your office!  It is impossible to solve their problems but at some point you have to decide who you are going to do business with.  The obvious choice is the Executor of the Estate, but that is not always the comfortable one.  The Executor may be the jerk. Here’s another scenario.  How many of you have dealt with an after-the-fact complaint about your service?  It often comes from the person who is grieving the hardest and even though you have no control over those who attend a service … the fact that an estranged … and much disliked … cousin arrived to pay respects is suddenly YOUR fault.   YOU ruined the entire funeral experience and they are NOT going to pay for that type of second-rate service.   How easy it is to solve the problems by quoting the law or waving threats of a collection agency.  It is easy to run and hide behind the obvious argument … ‘the one that’s payin’ is the one that’s sayin’ … Indeed those are the sad facts, but the reality is this … Is it not possible to acknowledge the needs of the others within the parameters of the arrangement? In the case of sibling struggles … within the boundaries of your duties as the funeral professional, try to set down with the warring parties and – with their input - decide ‘WHAT’ is right rather than ‘WHO’ is right.  We have all dealt with the arrogant sibling who lord’s the fact the ‘Dad named ME’ as Executor over the others, but if YOU can become the voice of reason, everyone will appreciate the need for agreement on certain issues. As for the complainer who is NOT going to pay… at the time of their confrontation, gently identify anything you can do to make them happy.  Because you can’t turn back the clock, they often want financial compensation but … that is not a solution … it is only a band aid that does nothing to address the real issue.  Once again simply ask them to assist you in determining WHAT is right rather than WHO is right.  In my experience, when all of the facts are on the table, they soon come to see your position as a business person and recognize the areas that you are powerless to control – i.e. –guests at a service. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and what’s wrong.  If you can determine the latter you will be well on your way to serving your customers with integrity while still acknowledging their rights.  This profession is all about service but if you don’t build on that foundation, you will surely fail.   <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> Keywords: Funeral Industry, Funeral Blog, Randy McCormick, Connecting Directors funeral industry blogfuneral businessrandy mccormickconnecting directors Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:15:24 GMT Dust is Only Mud With The Juice Squeezed Out http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000199#00000199 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000199.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> It is so easy to miss a spot while dusting.  I was sitting in the waiting area of my doctor’s clinic last week waiting patiently for an appointment.  I usually avoid magazines because of where I am … the fact remains that some people can’t wash their hands between coughing fits and turning a page.  So … what’s left but the opportunity to visually check the place out?   The waiting room was well appointed and beautifully colour coordinated.  The cleaning staff had been fastidious in their scrubbing efforts because the floors gleamed, the counter shone and the windows sparkled.  The big clock on the wall must have been a family heirloom … but … that’s when I saw it … and was instantly transported from a place of comfort to a place of uneasiness. Dust is Just Mud With The Juice Squeezed OutBy: Randy McCormick  A layer of dust encrusted the top of the wall clock.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  I squinted and looked closer … yes … a layer of dust that spoke of months, not days of neglect.  The more I tried to ignore it, the more I wanted to take a Kleenex and wipe it off.  Gone was my appreciation of the effort taken in choosing the colourful paintings on the wall.  I focused on that layer of dust.  Suddenly the shining floors and sparkling windows meant nothing and I wondered about the cleanliness of the rest of the building.  If this detail at the front end of the business was any indication, what could I expect behind closed doors?  Suddenly my name was called and I returned to realty … but I still remember that ‘layer of dust’.   Do you have a public area in your funeral home?  Of course … we all do!  Walk into it and sit down where you seat your customers.  Look around.  Check the tops of the picture frames.  Examine the leaves of the plants.  Study the overhead light fixtures for dead bugs.  Check the ceiling corners for cobwebs.  When you sit in their seat, I guarantee you a perspective of your business that you are seldom party to.  You rush from room to room tending to business at hand while they sit quietly, as I did in my doctor’s office.   What subliminal message is your place of business sending?  Are you losing face to a dusty shelf in the library?  Monitor your business and ask yourself the hard questions and … after that … do yourself another favour.  Walk into your public washroom and sit awhile.  Check out the corners.   What message ARE you sending to your customers? <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a>  Keywords: Funeral Industry, Funeral Blog, Randy McCormick, Connecting Directors funeral industryfuneral blograndy mccormickconnecting directors Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:48:52 GMT Smile When Picking Up The Phone... The Caller Will Hear It In Your Voice http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000197#00000197 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000197.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Practise the following three telephone greetings aloud.  Have someone listen from outside the door as you read them … twice … once while smiling and once while frowning.   Then, ask them to identify the smile set. Smile When Picking Up The Phone... The Caller Will Hear It In Your VoiceBy: Randy McCormick     1.  ‘Hello …’ 2.  ‘Joe’s Funeral Home …’ 3.  ‘Good morning … Joe’s Funeral Home … this is Josephine speaking … how may I help you?’ I’ll bet my morning donut that they will have no problem telling the difference.  Our voices reflect a smile as quickly as a mirror does.  Our voices let callers know how they are about to be received.   We have at least twenty funeral homes in our area that I can drive to in under an hour.  With competition like that, it is important to have a telephone greeter with a smiling voice, but even if yours in the only funeral facility in town, your customers deserve that courtesy.  There is something about being received with warmth that makes me want to deal with that business.   I regularly have occasion to call local funeral homes and I have some that I look forward to and some I dread.  One I particularly dread calling needs to consider a robot as their front end person because the current lady exudes all the warmth of an Arctic iceberg.  I have been in her office watching her take calls and am amazed that she NEVER smiles while speaking.  Her voice chills me to the bone.   At the other extreme is a funeral home whose calls are answered with the most syrupy, gushing, insincere and patronizing voice on the planet … the polar opposite of Mrs. Iceberg, but equally offensive.   A telephone voice need not come from an emotional place.  God only knows that there are times we answer the phone when we are rushed, stressed or preoccupied, but there is no need to adopt a ‘funeral voice’ or a ‘Barbie voice’ on those occasions.  If you simply smile while speaking, your caller will feel welcome and cared for.  I am not ONLY speaking of the secretary or phone person but everyone on staff.  You never know when they will be called upon to answer phones while you are busy with a service. Try the above experiment and see for yourself.  You will be amazed at the power a smile gives to your speaking voice.  In our profession, we need to avail ourselves of every tool available in order to assure our callers.  Do yourself a favour … smile … It’s just that easy.  <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a>   Keywords: Funeral Industry Blog, Randy McCormick, Customer Service, Connecting Directors funeral industry blograndy mccormickcustomer serviceconnecting directors Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:27:31 GMT Don't Be Afraid Your Life Will End... Be Afraid It Will Never Begin http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000195#00000195 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000195.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> On the long pilgrimage though life we pass many signs.  Some warn of bumps and rocky terrain while others invite us to stop to enjoy the scenery.  The road has rest stops and speed traps, but the beautiful thing about being on the road is the trip itself.  Destinations change as we negotiate tricky intersections or get lost on one-way streets … but the destination is never as important as the journey. Don't Be Afraid Your Life Will End... Be Afraid It Will Never BeginBy: Randy McCormick Every trip starts with a first step.  The second step is followed by the third … and so on.  A fellow once told me he never dreamed he could run a marathon until he tried.  Merely thinking about the distance overwhelmed him, but he didn’t focus on those thoughts.  He focused on putting one foot in front to the other and before he knew it he was on his way to the finish line.  He told me that he attributed his success to the fact that he concentrated on each step and didn’t worry about the event. Life challenges can easily become our personal marathons when viewed from a distance.  Dreams involve a one-day-at-a-time discipline.  At the age of 35, my neighbour, a school bus driver with a physical disability, decided to become a dentist.  We all shook our heads and reminded him of the seven years of school involved.   His answer – ‘The way I see it – how old will I be in seven years if I keep driving bus?’  He had a point.  He went to University, aced the courses … one step at a time … and today has a private jet, a vacation home in the Bahamas and is planning a handicap-guided quest for Mount Everest.  I asked him …EVEREST!!  He answered – “One step at a time, man.” I took a page from his book and decided to write the novel that had been lurking in me for the past twenty years.  I remembered his words … One step at a time. The task seemed impossible whenever I thought about ‘THE NOVEL’ but was much less daunting when I concentrated on writing one page at a time. My novel came together beautifully but it started with that first page … followed by a second … followed by a third … and the next thing I knew I was at 100,000 words and counting.  I forgot ‘THE NOVEL’ and concentrated on the pages.   Don't be afraid that your life will end … be afraid that it will never begin.  Release your dreams and let them fly.  If I have but one thought to leave you, let it be this … Follow your heart and ask yourself … ‘How old will I be in five years if I don’t?’ <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a>  Keywords: Randy McCormick, Funeral Industry Blog, Funeral Industry funeral industry blograndy mccormickconnectingdirectors.comconnecting directors Wed, 09 Apr 2008 07:14:10 GMT When You Lose, Don't Lose The Lesson http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000192#00000192 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000192.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  The opposite reaction to losing must be winning and therein lies the lesson.  Each time you set your foot on a path with a goal firmly in sight, you stride boldly into the future with hope.  Do you remember the last time that you pursued a ‘fortune changing’ dream?  What a feeling accompanies such a quest.  You can almost taste the excitement.  When You Lose, Don't Lose The Lesson   By: Randy McCormick   I have even known people to have prematurely celebrated the success with a financial splurge …  I think that is what is commonly referred to as … ‘Counting Your Chickens Before They Hatch’.  The first few months of the journey are often spent in euphoric denial and warning signs are usually ignored.  But, one big sign is impossible to ignore … when your banker bounces a cheque … it is called being ‘Broke’.   Try ignoring that one.   So the dream didn’t work out the way you anticipated.  Big deal!  Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and wait until someone introduces you to another opportunity begging for a ‘ground floor’ dreamer.  And thus you begin the search for another ‘get rich’ scheme.  Sigh. In the opening paragraph I said ‘the opposite reaction to losing must be winning and therein lies the lesson’.  The lesson should not be lost, but YOU WILL lose it if you rush off in the new direction without forensically examining the failure.  The same way a newspaper reporter writes a good story, sit down with a sheet of paper and make notes.  Name five columns … What … Where … When … Who … How … and start making point-form notes under each category.   Let’s say suddenly you realize that under one of the categories … let’s say under the ‘How’ column … is a flaw … perhaps The First National called your loan in three months.  Had you chosen a lender agreeing to a six month … you may have been showing a profit.  Lesson – Next time be more aware of your banker’s expectations.   This example is far too simplistic, but I’m sure you all get the picture about the necessity of a detailed audit pinpointing reasons for any failure. The plan will not have been a failure if you learn from it … but by walking away without learning the lesson, you cheat yourself.  Everyone deserves the benefit of the learning experience.  Be kind to yourself and ‘When You Lose, Don’t Lose the Lesson’. <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> funeral industryrandy mccormickconnectingdirectorsfuneral industry blog Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:14:30 GMT 7 Days Without God Makes One Weak http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000189#00000189 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000189.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> From whence comes the strength of the funeral professional?  Does it come from working out at the gym?  Does it come from eating a balanced diet of healthy nutritional choices?  Does it come from a box or a package or a pill?  No.  The strength of a funeral professional comes from the well within. 7 Days Without God Makes One WeakBy: Ryan Thogmartin   From the day we first look into the eyes of a widow we begin to get a glimpse of the higher power mirrored within each and every one of us.  We realize that we are the awesome messengers of love and gentleness … but … just because we acknowledge our Creator does not mean that we will be immune and escape difficult times.  That is simply not the case.  When a death occurs and suffering follows, those who know God will be involved in that suffering also.  It is then that our inner light ‘shines before men’.  But there is a peace and strength that God's presence gives and so it is for the funeral professional whose feet are firmly planted on a foundation of faith.  ‘We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.’ Reality tells us that we will experience problems in life. However, if we go through them while acknowledging our Creator, we can react to them with a different perspective and with a strength that can’t be found in a box of ‘Wheaties’.  When we empathize with the families walking though our doors, we have the opportunity to be a mirror of hope into the desolation of their lives. No matter what happens in the world around us, God can be there for us. Though people do not always do the right things, God is still able to take horrible circumstances and bring about a plan for good. God is ultimately in control over world events and, if we believe, we can rest on the promise that all things work together for good. I emphasize one more point.  We don’t NEED to SHOUT out the good news from the arrangement office.  Some customers may not appreciate that.  You simply have to let it live … in your smile and in your understanding … the rest will follow.  I paraphrase when I quote … "My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."   <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> Sponsor this blog, please email <a href="mailto:ryan@connectingdirectors.com">ryan@connectingdirectors.com </a> funeral industryfuneral industry blograndy mccormick Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:09:12 GMT "In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash" http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000188#00000188 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000188.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> It was TWENTY YEARS ago and our accounts receivable were under $100,000.000.  Wow!  We celebrated!  That was just like money in the bank.  Then someone started noticing that Sears didn’t let us walk out of their store with a pair of shoes or a new shirt without paying.  The sad thing was this … no one expected that of Sears … but the Funeral Home was supposed to offer at least 90 days to get the estate in order before asking for payment and there would NEVER be a thought of adding interest.  If it was added, it was always written off as a gesture of goodwill when the bill was paid five years later …. After all … we wanted to serve the family again. "In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash"By: Ryan Thogmartin FIFTEEN YEARS ago some of the smaller firms like ours were aghast when the corporations posted signs in the arrangement offices informing … ‘PAYMENT IN FULL IS EXPECTED AT THE END OF THIS INTERVIEW’.  For at least another TEN YEARS we were the good guys on the block and considered our ‘No Payment Required for 90 Days’ policy an asset.  We advertised the fact in attempts to increase the business, all the while watching the corporations grow by leaps and bounds around us.  Why were people still going to them?  FIVE years ago the lights went on.  We toyed with the … tasteful signs in the arrangement office … idea and had them made up … but found putting them out difficult.   Problem number one – we had a hard time getting our heads around the concept of asking for money right away. Were people going to think we’ve fallen on hard times?  What about our repeat customers?  How much business were we going to lose with this new policy?  How were we going to tell people that were going to start operating like every other business in town?   Problem number two - after 40 years of being proud of our $100,000.00 accounts receivable ‘nest egg’, how could we live with NO nest egg at all?  Always in the past, just when taxes needed to be paid or the hearse needed a new transmission … some lawyer would settle an estate and pay a big account …. Ah yes … what a concept … accounts receivable equals nest egg.  NOT! That style of thinking was definitely a hold over from the Depression of the 1930’s.  Then the funeral director accepted whatever the family had to offer in payment and was glad for the opportunity to serve.  In those days ‘bad debt write-offs’ were taken for granted.  Today’s style still nods toward benevolence, but today’s reality remains … you will not be in business next year if you don’t get paid for your services.   What were the comments of those we dealt with after our policy fell into line with the rest of the world?  In the first month, twenty customers never even noticed … another twenty never said a thing … five asked for an extra day … one asked for an extra week and one complained.  The revealing statement was this … after receiving her receipt, one widow said, “It is so nice to get this part finalized and besides, Jimmy didn’t like me charging things.  Some funeral homes drag it on and on and think they are doing a favour when actually – it is just the opposite.”     Accounts receivable … $0.00 … Nest egg from accounts receivable … $0.00 … Cash in Bank   $$$ … PRICELE$$ …$$$ <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a>  To sponsor this blog, please email <a href="mailto:ryan@connectingdirectors.com">ryan@connectingdirectors.com </a> Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:07:18 GMT The Wheel is Turning, But The Hamster's Dead http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000187#00000187 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000187.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> One of the saddest things I have ever observed is the funeral director/owner who doesn’t know when to step aside.  I have seen good staff leave because an old founder wouldn’t relent on a simple issue claiming ‘he was too old to change’. I have watched companies literally dissected by the competition because the owner claimed … ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’. The Wheel is Turning, But The Hamster's DeadBy: Randy McCormick  Often … because of lack of planning … there isn’t a viable succession plan in place.  I have known owners who have jealously guarded the bankbooks and purse strings so closely that when they succumb to ‘Inevitable Numeric Ascension’, even their families don’t know how to keep the business running smoothly.  The scenario is further complicated when the owner/director/perhaps even founder thinks he is going to live forever.  Other times he feels that the business can’t go on without him.   There comes a time to us all when we need to borrow from Vaudeville line … ‘Leave ’em Laughin’.  Don’t let the show go on so long that the audience’s appreciation wanes.  If that happens, the worn costumes, the runs in the stockings and the cheap wigs become an issue.  Drop the curtain at a high point in the show and the appreciative audience comes back for more.  It is true for any professional at the top of their career.   So it is with the aging funeral professional.  I don’t mean quit on the spot … but exercise wisdom.  They should stay on as the figurehead but consider letting the younger people on staff strut their stuff and show what they are made of … after all … a lot of time and effort has been invested in training them.  Now give them the chance to pass the final exam.  They were taught the skills but often they don’t feel it is right to eclipse the teacher.   Promise yourself that when start to feel the saddle sores of life, you will let the other cowpokes lead the trail ride for a spell.  You might be very surprised to witness ‘first hand’ how well you trained them.  Sitting back in the saddle and relaxing on the trail now and then is good for the soul and allows others see that you understand the aging process.   One day each of our ‘numbers will be up’ so don’t let anyone say that we didn’t know when to quit. Take a lesson from Vaudeville - ‘Leave ’em Laughin’. Side thought – I once actually saw … as probable cause … on a medical certificate of Death ‘His Number Was Up’ … but it was cleverly worded … ‘Cause of Death … Acute Numerical Ascension’) <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a>  Be a Sponsor of ConnectingDirectors.com email <a href="mailto:ryan@connectingdirectors.com">ryan@connectingdirectors.com </a> Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:01:23 GMT The Compassionate Friends http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000186#00000186 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000186.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> I was honoured to be asked to speak at a large gathering of ‘The Compassionate Friends’ yesterday.  Following is the text of the reflection I offered which began and ended with a reflective poem. The Compassionate FriendsBy: Randy McCormick  The Compassionate Friends is an international non-profit, self-help support organization that offers friendship, understanding, and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings. There is no religious affiliation and there are no membership dues or fees.  Their mission is to assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child of any age and to provide information to help others be supportive.  The secret of their success is simple: As seasoned grievers reach out to the newly bereaved, energy that has been directed inward begins to flow outward and both are helped to heal. ……………………………….. Do you have any idea how much I need a hug? Do you remember the day you were cleaning the gutters? ... and when you were climbing down the ladder... ... YOU FELL... For a fleeting moment... (was it one second... or was it two?) I caught you and held you... And for that one second... or was it two? you were my baby again... Oh, not my twenty-year old son ... but my baby, whether two or twenty-two... I flashed backed to your birth... the day I first held you in the hospital... My new-born child. The day you smashed your ‘Flumb’ ... All the times I held you, all rolled into one. ... and I caught you as you fell... (Was it one second... or was it two?) I held my creation... my baby ... And I gave you a one second hug... or was it two? Then you caught your balance... And we laughed... You put away the ladder ….. and I went inside …and cried. …………………………. I wrote that poem almost twenty years ago and for me, the memory is still as powerful as the day my son, Rob, fell off the roof while cleaning the gutters.  I caught him that day.  I often wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn’t.  I know I would be a different person standing before you now, but I also know that - like everyone in this room, I would be carrying on, remembering and sharing my story.   There are times in our lives that remain permanently imprinted in memory.  There are moments of memory that we wish we could preserve for ever in the time capsule of innocence.  Those are the times that have brought us together this afternoon to be embraced within the healing arms of ‘The Compassionate Friends’. For each and every memory we cherish there are thousands more we long for.  For each and every memory we long for there are even more reasons to cherish those we have.   The simplest experiences become elevated to eternal memory when a child is taken from a parent.  The last memory of a conversation, the final moments of holding a baby not destined to live a full life … like a song that you cannot get out of your head, these memories … too …. are with you forever. There are days that I have a hard enough time understanding the things that go around in my head without having to deal with personal loss as you do.  The routine of life demands so much of us that we sometimes feel chopped up into little pieces that have to be shared with the world.  Everyone wants a piece of you - The person you work for, the people you work with, the customers you deal with, the friends you love, borderline-road-rage drivers on the freeway, the telephone callers, the kids waiting at home, the elbowing shoppers in the mall, the in-laws who just in-law, the person who lives in the next cubicle most of her days but today is sobbing on the phone and you … the rescuer … rush to ask if you can help… Little pieces that we give away until there are no more left.  No more are left for our own healing.  It is then that we look for help, and hopefully we find it.  It is then that we come to ‘The Compassionate Friends’ to get back on track … to establish ‘where we are going’ by looking at ‘where we have been’ … to reassure ourselves in the lighting of candles that we are not alone … to lose ourselves in the luxury of a heart-felt hug.   I have not lost a child and I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and devastation that you have experienced … but … I am a funeral director … and I face you every day of my life as you come to my funeral home with your hearts broken, your dreams crushed and your eternal souls bruised.   I lament with you and my heart reaches out to you, but … I can only guess at the depth of your sadness.   I see your brave faces as we walk through the process … and every now and then, I inwardly thank you for letting me see the tiny cracks in your armour that let me know you are human.  I am grateful when you show me your real feelings … and I know that I am treading upon the most hallowed ground known to mankind each time you speak to me of your love … and your loss.  I summed up those feelings many years ago, and I close with these words: Arrive at eight... to church by ten, we’re at the cemetery. The morning sun, warm on our backs, … our routines seldom vary. The first of May, and on the trees a hint of green, not brown. The spring has come, the winter’s gone, all nature waits her crown. We look upon this quiet scene, and wonder that we’re here. To set the grave ... a little child that perished... fire and fear. Lower rough box, one by three into the four foot hole... Set greens, well washed, they’re five by six. Device gleams... silver... cold. As we step back, survey our work for neatness and perfection. The thought comes hard, the thought comes fast. We’re making God’s connection! For little child, for old men too, we set the graves with reverence. They are the same, in he’venly realms, old or young... no difference. And some will say we set those graves to only count the cash. But we’ll allow those comments small... accept the sceptic’s lash. If they once knew the feeling... true of standing here... so cursed... We set the graves for Kings and Slaves, but... five-year olds are worst. I urge all members of Connecting Directors to support The Compassionate Friends’ – <a href="http://www.compassionatefriends.org">www.compassionatefriends.org</a>  <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:53:43 GMT Don't Judge People By Their Relatives http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000185#00000185 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000185.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Remember the cliché expression … ‘Some people come into our lives… and leave footprints on our hearts’ … Well … let me offer another version.    “Some families come into our lives … just to test us.”  Thank God that the times we encounter good and thankful customers far out number the times we have to deal with difficult ones. Don't Judge People By Their RelativesBy: Randy McCormick There was one family in an area I served many years ago that had a sour reputation in all their dealings.  Nothing could ever satisfy them … and so agreed the entire community … from the butcher and barber to the garage mechanic and the garbage collector.  I am sure the mayor’s office had at least one staff member dedicated to the ‘X’ family and the local paper could count on a weekly scathing ‘letter to the editor’. As a new funeral director in town I almost passed out when the matriarch of that family arrived at my doorstep to make arrangements for Mr. ‘X’.  I was literally petrified and she knew she had me on the ropes.  I was young and inexperienced and she lived up to her family reputation in spades.  Somehow I was able to get through the ordeal of the service, hounded by complaints ranging from the inappropriate way I answered the telephone ‘Good Morning, how may I help you’ to the colour scheme of the chapel. NO, it was not a good day and YES, black would have been a more respectful colour choice for the carpets.  When she died two years later, my experience was even worse for she had trained the others well. The month after Mrs. ‘X’s’ funeral … guess what?  You got it … her cousin died.  I steeled myself for the arrangement as threats of legal action still resounded in my ears … apparently Mrs. ‘X’ had not wanted Mrs. ‘Y’ to attend her funeral and I SHOULD have known that they hated one another.  I had summarily RUINED the experience for the entire family … GROAN … and so I prepared to meet cousin ‘X’.  I successfully worked myself into a gut-wrenching ulcer at the mere proposition of once more dealing with the family.  To my surprise, a delightful couple arrived, took a seat and immediately apologized … for the rest of their family.  They were appalled at the conduct of their relatives and asked that I not tar them with the same brush.  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  And hence the lesson I learned.  Don’t judge people by their relatives.   In the years since, I have learned that some people are just plain bitchy, but I have come to realize that even they have a purpose.  Bitchy people can teach us lessons about ourselves if we let them and they certainly give us insights into our own businesses.  We don’t have to agree with their points of view, but it doesn’t hurt to listen and do everything in our power to avoid mirroring their behavior.      <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> To sponsor this blog plase email <a href="mailto:ryan@connectingdirectors.com">ryan@connectingdirectors.com </a> funeral blograndy mccormickfuneral networking Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:44:27 GMT Let Me Put That Data in a Suppository For You... http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000183#00000183 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000183.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> When did you attend your last pointless meeting?  It seems for me that, like bad luck, pointless meetings come in threes.  I sometimes wonder why I bother since retirement dictates that my attendance is NOT mandatory anyway.  Let Me Put That Data in a Suppository For You...By: Randy McCormick I particularly dislike meetings that start with a detailed handout followed by a one-hour regurgitation … usually word-for-word … of the information contained within the printed pages.  I can handle the meeting better if the order is reversed and the presenter at least pretends to be enlightening me.  Then the handout at the end becomes a gift for which I am thankful.   Likewise, I wonder about seminar speakers who feel that power point is there to keep them on track, acting only as a hi-tech cheat sheet.  Point by point, some presenters do nothing more than read the words on the screen.  Hell, I can do that for myself.  My daughter and I used to do Caregiver Survival 101 Workshops.  Our seminars started with upbeat music that rocked the room and our Power Point only provided visuals to keep the mind open as information was shoveled in.  We regularly used close-up magic to imprint points we felt were particularly important and the handout at the end was a ‘Do-it-Yourself’ stress test.   ... And so I lament ordinary seminars and the all-too-common disasters that we refer to as meetings.  Now let me offer my hope for you.  If you are about to embark upon a meeting process, evaluate it for a couple of the points I mentioned.  Will your ‘captive’ audience wish that they were anywhere else but in the room?  Will you see them give each other that ‘look’ that says ‘I have work that I should be doing right now’?   If you have company policy that needs addressing, at least have the courtesy to make it interesting.   A preacher friend of mine said that speaking ‘to’ the congregation is more important than speaking ‘at’ it.  He said that far too many ministers don’t get the message.  Precious sermon time gets eaten up when a personal agenda is flogged week after week after WEEK.  If, like the preacher’s sermons, you detect your meetings are becoming little more than weekly regurgitations … please, think about those who have to sit through them.  Want a real wake-up call?  Tape your meeting, and listen to yourself at your leisure.   I sincerely hope that you are NOT one of those conducting boring meetings.  If ways escape you for making the subject matter interesting, put on your creative cap and do something different … the more different, the better.  I once hired a quartet to sing a lengthy list of government regulations that needed to be implemented ‘not now but right now’.  The meeting is still legendary … and the regulations, well they were firmly implanted in the staff’s memory – and as an added bonus, I think they gained a new appreciation for Gregorian chant.   Have a good meeting. <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> To Sponsor this Blog email <a href="mailto:ryan@connectingdirectors.com">ryan@connectingdirectors.com </a> Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:15:35 GMT Silence Can't Be Misquoted http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000182#00000182 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000182.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Due to the nature of our business, funeral professionals are destined to be the final ‘authority’ on many subjects, but we must be aware of our limitations.  Many people lump funeral planning in with estate planning and will preparation.  They ask if it is best to appoint a ‘power of attorney’ or a ‘committee’ (pronounced com-a-tee) instead of an executor.  They assume an executor is a conservator and guardian.  The questions are asked in innocence but answers are seized upon as if they came from a lawyer.  It feeds our egos when we know ‘a little about a lot’ and thus it strokes us to be able to have the last word.  Silence Can't Be MisquotedBy: Randy McCormick  Solomon said: "The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin".  Little wonder that we still refer to the ‘Wisdom of Solomon’ thousands of years later.  The virtue of holding the tongue is illusive and lost on many.  A typical first reaction, upon being asked a question, is to jump in with an answer.  This can be good when we are the definitive authority but can be bad if we are unsure about the subject.   Due to the nature of our business, funeral professionals are destined to be the final ‘authority’ on many subjects, but we must be aware of our limitations.  Many people lump funeral planning in with estate planning and will preparation.  They ask if it is best to appoint a ‘power of attorney’ or a ‘committee’ (pronounced com-a-tee) instead of an executor.  They assume an executor is a conservator and guardian.  The questions are asked in innocence but answers are seized upon as if they came from a lawyer.  It feeds our egos when we know ‘a little about a lot’ and thus it strokes us to be able to have the last word.   Funeral professionals need to restrict comments to their areas of expertise.  With authority we are able to speak of legislation as it pertains to our state and we know exactly what steps must be taken when shipping across and international boundary.   We know where the granite that we use in our headstones is quarried and we are all aware of the percentage of bronze alloy in a Batesville ‘Promethean’, but we have to know where to stop speaking.  We have to be open to sharing that there are some areas we know little about.  If we don’t, we run the risk of leading an innocent down a garden path of misinformation.   There is only one way I am aware of that we CAN be the ultimate authority and that is by saying the words … ‘I’m not sure I’m the right person to answer that question.  Let me give you the number of someone who I think can help.”   With those well chosen words you suddenly exercise ‘The Wisdom of Solomon’.  When we match families with sources we provide … and they get … the information needed … and we remain on the pedestal.  They tell others of the depths of our expertise in all things but have no opportunity to misquote us.  Use common sense when handing out advice.  Knowing when to ask for help is an important key to ultimate success. <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a>  To sponsor this blog please email <a href="mailto:ryan@connectingdirectors.com">ryan@connectingdirectors.com</a> Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:11:35 GMT If Your Dog is Fat, You Aren't Getting Enough Exercise http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000181#00000181 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000181.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Funeral professionals must be among the world’s top procrastinators when it comes to keeping in shape.  Most of our days are spent either at a desk or behind the wheel of a car.  When we are walking we do so slowly and deliberately as decorum dictates and when we are standing we do so with rigid purpose. If Your Dog Is Fat, You Aren't Getting Enough ExerciseBy: Randy McCormick  Because of erratic schedules, good dietary choices are often sacrificed in favor of fast food.  It is much easier to munch on a burger between services than it is to prepare a salad.  We often gulp our food between arrangements just to get the fuel in our systems and we certainly DO NOT CHEW PROPERLY.  The rushed diet is a big contributor to the obesity cycle and we soon require a trip to the tailor to let the pants out a bit.   There are a few obvious ways of exercising in the workplace.  Instead of delegating the apprentice to purge the parking lot of errant cigarette stubs, do the job yourself.  Take it from me – a thorough sweep of the area only takes about ten minutes if you bend to the task.  Instead of using the long-handled scoop to do the job, try the bend-from-the-knee motion.  As a bonus ... being outdoors regularly gives me my best opportunities for neighbourhood chat and PR.  Here’s another thought.  Wash and polish the hearse yourself.  Don’t be afraid of sending the wrong message to the staff.  Talk to them about your ‘keep fit’ program.After standing in church all morning, sitting really feels good.  Try an alternative to the office chair.  Purchase a firmly inflated fitness ball which will improve your balance and tone your muscles while sitting at your desk. You can even use the fitness ball for other exercises during the day.  Exercise doesn't need to go by the wayside when you're traveling. If you're stuck in an airport waiting for a plane, grab your bags and take a brisk walk. Rather than hanging out in the lounge with coffee or a snack, take a brisk walk or do some gentle stretching. Pull your chin toward your chest until you feel a stretch along the back of your neck, or slowly bring your shoulders up toward your ears. When it's practical, schedule walking meetings. Do laps inside your building or, if the weather cooperates, take your walking meeting outdoors.  You won’t believe the results of a brainstorming session conducted on the move.Here’s a totally radical idea … but please enjoy the scenario and picture yourself in it.  Ditch the desk.  Position your work comfortably above a treadmill.  Put the computer screen on a stand and a keyboard on a treadmill-ready vertical desk … then walk while you work … I told you it might be impractical for most, but researchers estimate that overweight office workers who replace ‘sitting computer time’ with ‘walking computer time’ by two to three hours a day could lose 44 to 66 pounds in a year. The pace doesn't need to be brisk, nor do you need to break a sweat.Of course there is the at-home regimen to consider.  You can play with the kids, carry out the garbage, vacuum the carpet, weed the flowerbed and walk the dog.  Not only will your kids thank you for that game of tag outside in the backyard but your partner will love the ‘abs of steel’ that you develop from vacuuming and weeding.  As for the family pet - I guarantee that if your dog is fat, YOU are not getting enough exercise. (Compiling this list was fun … but I know I missed a lot of ideas … please comment about your own at-work exercise routine.) <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> randy mccormickfuneralfuneral blogfuneral network Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:01:54 GMT Tomorrow – Today’s Greatest Labour Saving Device? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000180#00000180 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000180.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> So … I answer the call.  The lady is five minutes away and wants to sign release forms.  After talking to all the funeral homes in the area she had narrowed it down to two … but I am closer … and the other one had the nerve to tell her they were already closed for the day … she’ll come back tomorrow to complete the rest of the paper work … and asks casually if I can get a bronze casket in by Thursday? Tomorrow – Today’s Greatest Labour Saving Device?By: Randy McCormick   … It is almost closing time and the telephone rings.  The display tells me that it is ANOTHER call from the price-shopping lady.  She has probably dreamed up another silly question.  I’ll let the call go to message and begin the lock-up routine before heading home.  Suddenly a tempting proposition presents itself … I’ll tend to her tomorrow.   … An earlier call from the hospital mentioned a few problems with the latest case I am to pick up.  They suggested I come right away.  The fact remains that I am late for supper and I have to run the kids to a swim meet tonight.  Suddenly a tempting proposition presents itself …  I’ll tend to it tomorrow.     … The apprentice mentioned that we had a guest complain about the toilet in the family room.  It was flushing improperly and she suggests I call the plumber.   I know that if I call the plumber he won’t be able to come for hours and that will really mess up my plans.  Suddenly a tempting proposition presents itself … I’ll call him tomorrow.   Whew … Now I can look forward to an evening of rest and relaxation.  I will not even think about the tasks awaiting me at break of dawn. Wanna bet!  If I am honest with myself, I must remember similar procrastinations and the ways they burrowed their way into my sleepless night.  Suddenly those ‘put-it-off-until-tomorrow’ propositions don’t look so tempting.   So … I answer the call.  The lady is five minutes away and wants to sign release forms.  After talking to all the funeral homes in the area she had narrowed it down to two … but I am closer … and the other one had the nerve to tell her they were already closed for the day … she’ll come back tomorrow to complete the rest of the paper work … and asks casually if I can get a bronze casket in by Thursday? … I dispatch my removal service to the hospital just in time to catch my other case being wheeled into the FREEZER because of the odor problem earlier alluded to.   A quick call to my custom embalmer and overnight the edemous and jaundiced case is safely preserved for viewing.  Thank God I acted on the hospital’s advice and didn’t put it off until tomorrow.   … “Hello … is this Jake’s Plumbing … I was wondering if you can come by the funeral home tomorrow morning … one of our toilets has a problem … Oh, you are just passing by … Of course I can wait … I’m sure glad I phoned tonight and caught you … Thanks …”   Not only did I tend to business but I tended to my own peace of mind.   By not putting tasks off until tomorrow you too can almost guarantee a good night’s sleep without nagging thoughts caused by warmed-over problems.   Don’t let anyone convince you that tomorrow is today’s best labor saving device.  It’s just not so! <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> funeral blograndymccormickrandy mccormick Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:17:50 GMT Joseph of Arimathea - Funeral Director? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000178#00000178 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000178.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Imagine … you have a deep admiration for a man who is considered an eccentric.  Regardless of what people think of him, you like what he says and the way he says it … you admire his communication skills.  There is simplicity in his words and common sense in his wisdom.    He is a compelling speaker and there is ‘something’ about him that makes you hope his handlers are aware of his following and steer him into politics.  Joseph of Arimathea - Funeral Director?By: Randy McCormick   Joseph of Arimathea was, according to the Gospels, the man who donated his own prepared tomb for the burial of Jesus.  He was apparently a man of wealth, and probably a member of the Sanhedrin.  As soon as he heard the news of Jesus' death, he "went in boldly unto Pilate, and craved the body of Jesus."  Pilate, reassured by a centurion that the death had really taken place, allowed Joseph's request.  Joseph immediately purchased fine linen and proceeded to Golgotha to take the body down from the cross. There, assisted by Nicodemus, he took the body and wrapped it in the fine linen, sprinkling it with the myrrh and aloes that Nicodemus had brought. The body was then conveyed to a new tomb that had been hewn for Joseph himself out of a rock in his garden nearby. There they laid it, in the presence of Mary Magdalene, Mary, the mother of Jesus, and other women, and rolled a great stone to the entrance, and departed. This was done speedily, "for the Sabbath was drawing on". Fast forward 2,008 years. Imagine … you have a deep admiration for a man who is considered an eccentric.  Regardless of what people think of him, you like what he says and the way he says it … you admire his communication skills.  There is simplicity in his words and common sense in his wisdom.    He is a compelling speaker and there is ‘something’ about him that makes you hope his handlers are aware of his following and steer him into politics. … You are the local funeral director.  People have come to you for help in the past and you have offered it for a fee, but since hearing the preacher you have been doing some major soul searching.  You are seriously considering finding more about him and you wish he would ‘get with it and write a book’.  Your wife calls Oprah and suggests him as a guest.  Oprah ignores the suggestion and carries on with her interviews with the rich and the powerful … she is not interested in some nut.   … one day you hear that the fellow’s luck has turned and he has been executed in the electric chair.  Reporters are not clear about the reasons.  You have heard that his mother is a poor widow and your heart goes out to the family in their sorrow.  You call the state authorities to offer your services for free and receive the go ahead.  Because of your experience as a funeral professional you know exactly what to do and you offer your own reserved plot to the family.   …………………… Does any part of the ‘Imagine’ part of the above story have a personal ring to it?   Have you ever offered your service ... no charge ... for a person or family that you have connected with?  Do you think that Joseph of Arimathea had a history in the funeral profession of the day?  I personally hope so and if he was a funeral director, I remain proud to be numbered in his ranks.  <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:10:38 GMT And You Think You Are Carrying A Heavy Load http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000177#00000177 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000177.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> It was 4:00 pm.  As we left the office, the kind old man simply responded to my question, “Tell me you need to do before the service.  Perhaps I can help…”  I assumed that he would be making a few phone calls, arranging the collage of photos for the reception, picking up his special CD of 20’s music or finalizing the flowers. And You Think You Are Carrying A Heavy LoadBy: Randy McCormick   Lesson number 1: Never assume anything. “Thanks for offering, but I think I can manage.  Right now I have to pick up my granddaughter from school … I have to get her over to the hospital.  She has dialysis three times a week.  What a little trooper.  The reason I am taking the Memorial Book with me is so that she can add little pictures on the pages.  She knows she can draw with one hand while the machine is running and she wants to do something special.  It takes a long time you know … Her mother would take her but she is on her own with the baby.  I don’t mind helping out.  We do these things for family, don’t we? “Last night my son phoned from the east coast to tell me he got laid off that same morning his mom died. He said he won’t be able to come to the service, so I am going to pop by the bank to wire him some cash.  He didn’t ask, but I just know how much it will mean to him to be here to say goodbye.  We do these things for family, don’t we?  I sure wish him well finding a new job … but at 45 it might be difficult. “I should’ a asked you earlier, but ... our old dog is 16 now and getting pretty frail.  She was so faithful to my wife.  The vet wanted us to put her down a few weeks ago but the way she curled up at Martha’s feet was so comforting that I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I guess if I were sensible I would have her put to sleep today ...  I hate to lose the only faithful friend I have left … but … Would you allow me to put Lady’s ashes in the casket with my wife?” I was at a loss for words.  To my detriment I had pigeon-holed this dear man.  His life was nothing like that of the face he presented to the world.  I was ashamed of my presumptuousness.  I wanted to offer my services and drive him to his appointments but I realized that this was not possible. He had his reality and I had mine.  My own wife was counting on me to pick up Pizza for our family games night.  My own daughter needed to be picked up from ballet and my son from hockey. Plus I had the staff dry cleaning to drop off...   Lesson number 2:  This profession makes you face reality whether you want to or not.   <a href="http://www.funeralstaff.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" border="0" alt="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" title="bannerfuneralstaff468x60.gif" /></a> Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:49:12 GMT Confucius Say: Man Who Run Behind Car Get Exhausted http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000175#00000175 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000175.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> There are some common-sense issues that are part of our ‘cellular’ knowledge.  We are hard-wired with certain things from birth.  We are born with a sense of right from wrong.  We just ‘know’ that kindness is important. We all have a sense of a greater power in our lives.  We all know that it is never too late to run away to join the circus … oops … wrong blog (sorry Ryan).   Seriously, some things are second nature and we do ourselves disservice if we race after every new idea that pops up.    Confucius Say: Man Who Run Behind Car Get ExhaustedBy: Randy McCormick  Some business plans revolve around the latest trends.  I often wonder about the wisdom of such plans.  How do you decide which of the ‘latest trends’ will work for you?  Those you read about in the current issue of trade magazines may have been be written by directors from areas much larger than your community - or even worse - in areas much more progressive than yours?  Should you implement new ideas just because they work somewhere else? A certain amount of discernment is required before making trendy changes.  I am not saying that you … as a funeral professional … should cease educating yourself … I only make the point that you should use common sense before embracing change.  I am all for exchange of information but I would be remiss if I tried to apply everything I absorbed without careful consideration.   There are some common-sense issues that are part of our ‘cellular’ knowledge.  We are hard-wired with certain things from birth.  We are born with a sense of right from wrong.  We just ‘know’ that kindness is important. We all have a sense of a greater power in our lives.  We all know that it is never too late to run away to join the circus … oops … wrong blog (sorry Ryan).   Seriously, some things are second nature and we do ourselves disservice if we race after every new idea that pops up.   I live in an area with a high concentration of Asian customers.  Just last week I read of a new business trend … that of changing phone numbers for more recognizable ones.  Upon checking, the only series available to me was 4444.  Did you know that in many Asian dialects, the number 4 sounds similar to their word for ‘death’ and insinuates ‘bad luck?  The change for me, because of my trading area, would NOT have been wise, although it might have been fine for others.   … Another observation.  I know of a rural director who purchased FBI-type communications devices that fit behind the ear (a chord ran under the collar and connected to a waist-mounted transmitting device - not figure-flattering).  The salesman SOLD him on the benefits and cited examples of many successful funeral homes using the concept.  Wow – he purchased one for each director on staff … which numbered two … himself and his wife.  Now they could easily track minister, family … and each other … even though they were rarely out of visual range.  Not a lot of thought went into jumping on that bandwagon and it lasted for almost a week … needless to say, after her best friend asked if she was pregnant again, his wife suggested an alternative destination for the unit … and it was nowhere near his ear! Stop chasing cars but continue learning and absorbing.  You can learn from seminars at International, National and State conventions, but attendance is often impossible.  Many factors come into play …costs may be prohibitive … time away from the funeral home might be difficult to arrange … distance might make it improbable … BUT, THINK OF THIS ...  each time you log on to www.connectingdirectors.com you open yourself to exploring new ideas and innovations.  You can do it from your own chair.  It is all free so there are no excuses for remaining uneducated. Embrace the concept.  Ask others about the latest fads … what’s working and what’s not.  Start a discussion group.  Salespeople will be only too willing to educate you on the latest ‘FBI devices’ or worse, but … be your own best friend.  Don’t get ‘EXHAUSED’ by running behind too many cars.  Relax and settle into the driver’s seat.  That’s where you belong. <a href="mailto:ryan@connectingdirectors.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/blogad.gif" border="0" alt="blogad.gif" title="blogad.gif" /></a> Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:07:19 GMT Did Michelangelo paint the Sistine floor? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000174#00000174 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000174.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Everyday of our lives we are called to risk something.  If our personal relationships are to thrive we must risk and open ourselves to new understandings of love.  The hi-tech world we live in reminds us that we are not the same people today that we were yesterday.  In an instant a news flash can change the way we perceive the world.  If we are to maintain healthy personal relationships we must be ready to risk the fall from the ceiling.  Remaining safe is harder and harder in our world. Did Michelangelo Paint the Sistine Floor?By: Randy McCormick   No way – he painted the ceiling.  Today that feat would not pose much of a problem thanks to hydraulic devices that can be positioned at the touch of a control.  The dimensions of the Sistine chapel are the same as the Temple of Solomon, as described in the Old Testament so the vaulted ceiling rises to 68 feet.  The painting was done between 1508 and 1511 so you can but only imagine the crude scaffolding Michelangelo had to work with.  Talk about three years of soul-rattling risk. Think about the implications of taking your own risks. He risked and created one of the most important works of his life.  He risked, giving the world a gift that endures to this day.  He was not afraid and it paid off.   Risk is considered proportional to the expected losses which can be caused by an event and to the probability of this event. The harsher the loss and the more likely the event, the greater the overall risk.  What greater risk than the possibility of a fall from sixty feet to land on a marble floor. How much easier it would be to paint the floor. Everyday of our lives we are called to risk something.  If our personal relationships are to thrive we must risk and open ourselves to new understandings of love.  The hi-tech world we live in reminds us that we are not the same people today that we were yesterday.  In an instant a news flash can change the way we perceive the world.  If we are to maintain healthy personal relationships we must be ready to risk the fall from the ceiling.  Remaining safe is harder and harder in our world.   Forming relationships means risking.  We chance exposing ourselves to criticism and ridicule when declaring our feelings for another human being.  It is not an easy thing to do and some people go through their entire lives alone because they cannot risk a rejection.  I have friends who remain in a relatively unsatisfying ‘platonic’ relationship rather than taking the risk that could spell lifelong happiness for both.   How many people can’t take the risk of going into business?  Instead they prefer to remain in their safe place while secretly knowing that they have ‘what it takes’ to succeed.  We all know someone who wishes they had taken a business risk at some point in their lives?  Personally, I find that each time I sit at my computer, I risk making an utter fool of myself as I write this blog.  Do I let it worry me?  Not on your life!  As I post this, I don’t have a clue what I am going to write for tomorrow. But I know that it would be far worse for me to sit idly by knowing someone; somewhere might just find my ramblings interesting.   In your life you may easily face a ‘Michelangelo Moment’.  How will you react?  Will you take the easier path and remain safe or will you take the unknown path?  I leave you with a poem that served me well as I traveled my path from University to Accounting to the Funeral Profession.  The poem made me consider the direction I was going.  How many times in life we think, "Did I take the right path?", "Did I make a right choice?" "Where is this road leading me?" Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there, Had worn them really about the same And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference! -- Robert Frost (1874–1963) <a href="http://www.huppstiverson.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/huppad1psd.gif" border="0" alt="huppad1psd.gif" title="huppad1psd.gif" /></a> Tue, 18 Mar 2008 13:29:37 GMT I Didn't Know That? http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000172#00000172 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000172.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Here is your shot of St. Patrick’s Day trivia.  Use it well to stump someone in the office today or impress your buddies over a green beer.  If any of you celebrated it on the 14th or the 15th – A Happy belated St. Paddy’s Day to you. I Didn't Know That?By: Randy McCormick   Irish colonists brought Saint Patrick's Day to the United States of America. The first civic and public celebration of Saint Patrick's Day in the 13 colonies took place in Boston, Massachusetts on March 17th, 1737.  The first celebration of Saint Patrick's Day in New York City was held at the Crown and Thistle Tavern in 1756, and New York's first Saint Patrick's Day Parade was held on March 17th, 1762 by Irish soldiers in the British Army. In 1780, General George Washington, who commanded soldiers of Irish descent in the Continental Army, allowed his troops a holiday on March 17th. This event became known as The St. Patrick's Day Encampment of 1780.  Today, Saint Patrick's Day is widely celebrated in America by Irish and non-Irish alike. Some cities paint the traffic stripe of their parade routes green. Chicago dyes its river green, and Indianapolis dyes its main canal green. Savannah dyes its downtown city fountains green. University of Missouri Rolla - St Pat's Board Alumni paint 12 city blocks Kelly green with mops before the annual parade. The longest-running Saint Patrick's Day celebrations in the U.S. are: Boston, Massachusetts, since 1737:  New York City, since 1756: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, since 1771:  Morristown, New Jersey, since 1780: Buffalo, New York, since 1811: Savannah, Georgia, since 1813 : Carbondale, Pennsylvania, since 1833: Chicago, Illinois, since 1843: New Haven, Connecticut, since 1845: San Francisco, California, since 1852: Scranton, Pennsylvania, since 1862: Cleveland, Ohio, since 1867: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, since 1869: Kansas City, Missouri, since 1873: Butte, Montana, since 1882 and Rolla, Missouri, since 1908 Savannah, Georgia Savannah, GA, boasts the unofficial largest attendance with 750,000 in 2006. Unlike other cities, the parade in Savannah takes place on the actual day of Saint Patrick's Day; even if that day is during the work week. However this year the parade took take place on Friday, 14 March, to honor Holy week in the Catholic faith. The parade started at Saint John the Baptist Catholic Cathedral on Abercorn Street. The actual parade route changes from year to year but usually travels through Savannah's Historic Park District and Bay Street. In 2006, the Deputy Prime Minister of Ireland was featured in the parade. Since the parade travels through Savannah's Historic Park District, one tradition that has developed has been the official "dyeing of the fountains" which happens several days before the parade. New Orleans, Louisiana New Orleans, Louisiana, the parades include the influence of New Orleans Mardi Gras, with float riders throwing spectators strings of beads, cabbages, and potatoes. Hot Springs, Arkansas Perhaps the smallest notable parade World's Shortest St. Patrick's Day Parade, is said to take place in Hot Springs, Arkansas in the United States annually held on historic Bridge Street which became famous in the 1940s when Ripley’s Believe It or Not designated it “The Shortest Street in the World.” Boulder, Colorado claims to have the shortest parade, which is also less than a single city block. Syracuse, New York In the city of Syracuse, NY, Saint Patrick's celebrations are traditionally begun with the delivery of green beer to Coleman's Irish Pub on the first Sunday of March. Coleman's is located in the Tipperary Hill section of the city. Tipperary Hill is home to the World famous "Green-on-Top" Traffic Light and is historically the Irish section in Syracuse. Saint Patrick's Day is rung in at midnight with the painting of a Shamrock under the Green-Over-Red traffic light. Syracuse boasts the largest St. Patrick's Day celebration per-capita in the United States. New York City The New York parade has become the largest Saint Patrick's Day parade in the world. In 2006 more than 150,000 marchers participated in it, including bands, firefighters, military and police groups, county associations, emigrant societies, and social and cultural clubs, and it was watched by close to 2 million spectators lining the streets. New York politicians - or those running for office - are always found prominently marching in the parade. Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch once proclaimed himself "Ed O'Koch" for the day, and he continues to don an Irish sweater and march every year, even though he is no longer in office. The parade is organized and run by the Ancient Order of Hibernians.  On occasion the order has appointed controversial Irish republican figures (some of whom were barred from the U.S.) to be its Grand Marshal. The New York parade is moved to the previous Saturday (16 March) in years where 17 March is a Sunday. The event is also moved on the rare occasions when, due to Easter falling on a very early date, 17 March would land in Holy Week. This happens this year. In many other American cities (such as San Francisco), the parade is always held on the Sunday before 17 March, regardless of the liturgical calendar. Scranton, Pennsylvania Due to the rich history of Scranton participation in St. Patrick's Day festivities it is one of the oldest and most populated parades in the United States. It has been going on annually since 1862 by the St. Patrick's Day Parade Association of Lackawanna County and the parade has gotten attention nationally as being one of the better St. Patrick's Day parades. Scranton hosts the third largest St. Patrick's Day Parade in the United States. In 2003, more than 100,000 people lined the parade route throughout the downtown. Seattle, Washington Due to Seattle's northern state climates, like Ireland, the city received many Irish immigrants. So many that Seattle and Galway are sister cities. The annual Irish Week Festival is enormous, including step dancing, food, historical and modern exhibitions, and Irish lessons. This is all celebrated on St. Patrick's Day and sometimes carries on until the 15, 16, and 17 March. Las Vegas, Nevada The Southern Nevada, (formerly Las Vegas) Sons of Erin has put on a parade since 1966. It was formerly held on Fremont Street in downtown Las Vegas, later moved to 4th street. Since 2005, the parade has been held in downtown Henderson. It is one of the biggest parades in the state of Nevada. It also consists of a three day festival, carnival and classic car show in Old Town Henderson. And here’s some interesting baseball trivia - Although the baseball season is still in the spring training phase when St. Patrick's Day rolls around, some teams celebrate by wearing St. Patrick's Day themed uniforms. The Cincinnati Reds were the first team to ever wear St. Patrick's Day hats in 1978. The Boston Red Sox were the second team to start wearing St. Patrick's Day hats in 1990. Many teams have since wearing St. Patrick's Day themed jerseys, including the Philadelphia Phillies in the 1980s and Boston Red Sox in 2004. Since then it has become a tradition of many sports teams to also wear special uniforms to celebrate the holiday. The Los Angeles Dodgers also have a history with the Irish-American community. The Philadelphia Phillies also wear St. Patrick's Day caps and jerseys. Other teams celebrate by wearing Kelly green hats these teams include: the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago White Sox, the New York Mets, the San Diego Padres, the Atlanta Braves, the Pittsburgh Pirates, the Kansas City Royals, the Seattle Mariners and the St. Louis Cardinals. Nearly all major league baseball teams now produce St. Patrick's day merchandise, including Kelly green hats, jerseys, and t-shirts. If any of the Connecting Directors members find themselves in the Chicago, Illinois or the Princeton, Indiana area - and happen to run into any McCormicks from the Irish side of our fence - say hello from Randy and Dee.  <a href="http://www.huppstiverson.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/huppad1psd.gif" border="0" alt="huppad1psd.gif" title="huppad1psd.gif" /></a>   funeral Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:30:59 GMT Do It Right - They'll Come Back and Bring Their Friends http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000171#00000171 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000171.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Now put your business under the microscope.  Are you seen as the hit-and-run salesman or the one with the stick-to-it dedicated attitude?  A dedicated funeral home personifies company policy and, by inference, convinces the public that service will be top notch.  There are companies that have built a reputation on the credibility of their staff and the quality of their service … as much as the product they sell.   Do It Right - They'll Come Back and Bring Their FriendsBy: Randy McCormick   No matter what business you are involved in, one basic truth is paramount. Your personal standards of excellence must top the list of your priorities.  If you want to guarantee allegiance from your customers you have to stand behind your service and be proud to tell them your reasons.  You must always determine what is right – not who is right.  The difference between the truly successful business and the average business is that the successful business leaders live, breathe and preach quality.  The average business leaders only pay lip service to it. We all know the supplier who arrives at the door with a product he stands behind … and is proud to tell you the reasons why.  Think of the last one of these salespersons who took the time to convince you to try the new product.  Try to remember sales rep that, without an appointment, dropped off a few samples and left.   Now put your business under the microscope.  Are you seen as the hit-and-run salesman or the one with the stick-to-it dedicated attitude?  A dedicated funeral home personifies company policy and, by inference, convinces the public that service will be top notch.  There are companies that have built a reputation on the credibility of their staff and the quality of their service … as much as the product they sell.   Even if we haven't been, I'm sure we all know the reputation Disneyland has for the quality of the experience of a visit there. The key ingredient is the attitude of the founder, the late Walt Disney himself. This man lived and breathed this attitude and accepted nothing less from his employees.  You can do this for your business.  All you need to do is focus on the reasons you serve your public and remember that without them, you are nothing.  You need to demonstrate that you are ready to back up your words with action and tend to the little details as though they were major issues.   I quote from Ron Rosenberg’s recent blog ‘Service by the Slice’ “Imagine our complete surprise when the manager came over with a grin on his face and set down a plate with another hot slice of mushroom pizza!  “On the house!” he said.  If customer loyalty is built by establishing patterns of exceptional service, then this guy had the right idea.  He had no idea … and yet he did the right thing when a problem arose and went beyond what was appropriate to ensure a great experience.”   The manager of the Pizza Place had it right.  He tended to the little details like they were major issues.  Not only did he impress the Rosenbergs, but he has been quoted and canonized on this site as an example of ‘Doing it Right’. The result is this - standards and procedures are established allowing employees to know exactly what is expected of them in every situation, particularly in an interaction with a customer.  Delighted customers come back with their friends. I, for one, want to get the name of that Pizza Place in Boston.  It will be my first stop in that city and you can bet your bottom dollar that I will tell them why I came.   Do people want to switch to your establishment?  Are you doing it right? <a href="http://www.huppstiverson.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/huppad1psd.gif" border="0" alt="huppad1psd.gif" title="huppad1psd.gif" /></a> Fri, 14 Mar 2008 12:56:29 GMT Spread The Word http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000170#00000170 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000170.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> With many small businesses, there is a tendency to be reactive. If sales slow down, you decide to advertise to address the situation. When work picks up, advertising is stopped.   This is the biggest mistake that a funeral home can make.  When budgeting to get your word out, settle on a number that can remain consistent month after month – not one that is hinged to profits.  The result of haphazard advertising produces haphazard results.  Instead of one broad objective of ‘getting more sales’, strategies can be developed in three areas. Spread The WordBy: Randy McCormick   I don’t care how you do it, but if you don’t tell people your story; chances are they will never hear it.  If you don’t speak of your journey and the way in which you arrived at your current destination, they can only guess … and that is not fair to you.  You will never succeed by keeping your business a secret. When out of the funeral home I employ the ‘Five-Foot-Rule’.  It works and it’s free … if you get within five feet of me, you get my card and an introduction  … “Hi, my name is Randy McCormick … our family own the Burquitlam Funeral Home on North Road ...” In actuality my son owns it – but the simplicity of the line tells our story … the main message being ‘Family Owned’.  Remember, the ‘Five-Foot-Rule’ is free … the only requirement being that you arm yourself with plenty of business cards and be prepared to hear lots of stories. You need to spread the word to let people know about your unique products and services. To insure this happens you may want to advertise in a weekly local paper.  Any sucker can pay $300.00 for a 1/8 page ad giving location and phone number and the number of years they have been boring people with the same ad.  I suggest something different now and then.  Try making it memorable.  We use many approaches including an “Ann Landers-like’ column with advice to those asking questions about the funeral profession.  We write the questions so we control the point the ad makes.  In the past ten years of running similar articles, we have become an institution in the community.  I have done dozens of home arrangements where the refrigerator is plastered with the helpful hints that mom collected over the years.  We have set ourselves up as the local authority on ‘all things funereal’.  We plant the seed that nothing should be done without checking with us first.  We’re paying for the forum so we create the opportunity to ‘wave our own banner’ on a weekly basis.   With many small businesses, there is a tendency to be reactive. If sales slow down, you decide to advertise to address the situation. When work picks up, advertising is stopped.   This is the biggest mistake that a funeral home can make.  When budgeting to get your word out, settle on a number that can remain consistent month after month – not one that is hinged to profits.  The result of haphazard advertising produces haphazard results.  Instead of one broad objective of ‘getting more sales’, strategies can be developed in three areas. - Firstly - strategies should be developed to actively encourage word of mouth and a system for generating referred leads.  Basically – talk it up at every function you attend and at every after-service luncheon at your funeral home.  Don’t go hide in the staff room.  At all other times try the free ‘Five-Foot-Rule’.  Word of mouth facilitates a system for generating referrals. - Secondly - plan advertising approaches to generate a steady flow of new enquiries. -Thirdly - develop strategies to increase the number of repeat families you serve. Marketing must not be left to chance. The key – SPREAD THE WORD - by developing planned, consistent and effective advertising.  At the same time consider your promotional systems and strategies.  The way you spend your promotional dollars is your call.   Who knows … perhaps someone will even step up to the plate and sponsor this daily blog.  Check with Ryan.  I’ll bet his rates are pretty competitive. <a href="mailto:ryan@connectingdirectors.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/blogad.gif" border="0" alt="blogad.gif" title="blogad.gif" /></a> Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:21:05 GMT Your Website Looks Abandoned http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000168#00000168 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000168.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> If your goals are not clearly defined it is easy to become the hamster on the treadmill. You can expend a lot of effort going nowhere. All you are doing is reacting to the pressures that business creates.  Consider creating a blog where you can ‘toot your own horn’ and ‘ring your own bell’.  Invite people to interact on your website and give them a reason to return.  Make it interesting enough that they feel they are missing something important if they do not log in.   How many of us would log onto THIS site regularly if Ryan didn’t strive to offer something different for us to digest on a regular basis? Your Website Looks AbandonedBy: Randy McCormick   Did someone break into your office and steal your common sense?  When did you last change ANYTHING on your website?  I swear that 95% of the websites I visit on a daily basis (thanks to retirement I visit a lot of them) make me wonder if the funeral homes they describe are still in business.  Let me hasten to say that adding obituaries doesn’t count … that is a given.  I am talking about changing some aspect of your Home Page or your Staff Profiles or your Merchandise. Our website was one of the worst offenders.  When it was designed, we were very happy with it and became so proud of it that it gained ‘Venerable’ status in our eyes.  It was perfect and we would log on just to pat ourselves on the back and look at our profile pictures.  Then we noticed the hits decreasing and the numbers of repeat visitors dwindle to nil.  Solution – commission a web page that contained fields that could be changed daily – right from our office … To do that we needed to determine where we were going. Without having specific goals, business owners often find their website speaking of nothing but endless drudgery.  If being in business is not exciting, enjoyable and rewarding, then why be in it?  When business becomes exciting and rewarding, success isn’t far behind. Successful people have a clear idea of where they are going and watch their business making progress towards clearly defined goals.  You need to share your excitement on the webpage.  Sort of like the old expression – ‘If You’re Happy – Let Your Face Know’.   Our websites are the only ‘face’ the world sees.   If your goals are not clearly defined it is easy to become the hamster on the treadmill. You can expend a lot of effort going nowhere. All you are doing is reacting to the pressures that business creates.  Consider creating a blog where you can ‘toot your own horn’ and ‘ring your own bell’.  Invite people to interact on your website and give them a reason to return.  Make it interesting enough that they feel they are missing something important if they do not log in.   How many of us would log onto THIS site regularly if Ryan didn’t strive to offer something different for us to digest on a regular basis? The second key is to decide WHERE you are going. When you know where you want your business to end up, you can determine what needs to be done to get there. Design your page to tell your story.  Doing these things creates excitement and enjoyment. Instead of struggling on with meagre rewards, you can make progress towards success in a steadily growing and entirely planned way.   Does your website look abandoned?  <a href="http://www.huppstiverson.com"><img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/huppad1psd.gif" border="0" alt="huppad1psd.gif" title="huppad1psd.gif" /></a> Wed, 12 Mar 2008 13:30:08 GMT Take Charge of Your Reality http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000072+00000166#00000166 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000166.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> You can't always control every situation but there are two things you can control: your attitude and your skills.  Attitude is primary because it, above all else, is the easiest to deal with.  If you know your business and feel good about yourself, there is nothing that can stand in your way on your journey to success.  You may encounter failure along the way, but with a healthy attitude you will soon realize that failure is just the opportunity to begin again – this time with the gift of more experience.  Take Charge of Your RealityBy: Randy McCormick   The funeral profession is rewarding and mysterious.  I cannot think of another that offers up as many opportunities for personal growth.  We strive to do the best we can and sometimes we actually achieve those results.  Other times we reach for the gold ring but feel we have fallen short of the mark. Success is easily achieved if you follow a few simple rules.    The first key is to realise that success will not just happen.  It is up to you to make it happen. You can wish upon as many stars as you please, but the truth of the matter is that without a plan and a purpose you won’t be taken seriously by those in a position to transform the dream into the reality.   I’ll bet my morning donut that each of you know someone who is successful because of good planning.  I’ll also bet that donut on the fact that you know someone who impressed a banker or investor with that plan.  I know there are many schools of thought on the subject of ‘The Secret’ aka ‘Visioning’, but they all pale in comparison to a well thought out plan.  If you can show others that you are serious, half the battle is won.   Successful people are in control. They refuse to be victims. They accept responsibility for the results their business achieves and take the blame themselves if things go wrong. When you are in control you can choose what to do.  How many of you have encountered the ‘office complainer’ who refuses to take responsibility for ANYTHING?  Much of my business life was spent tap dancing around issues because someone in the office wouldn’t claim responsibility for messy situations.  Can anyone say, “There is an elephant in the room, but we’re going to pretend we can&rs