Kathy Jackson's Funeral Industry Blog

Kathy Jackson's Funeral Industry Blog http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082 Articles written by Connecting Directors member Kathy Jackson en Copyright 2008, Connecting Directors Thu, 25 Sep 2008 12:02:37 GMT Thu, 25 Sep 2008 12:02:37 GMT The First Draft Of My Thesis Has Taken Flight http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000357#00000357 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000357.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The first draft of my thesis has taken flight.  It will spend several months going back and forth between the faculty committee which acts as my advisors and editors and me before it will be sent to the two outside readers for their comments.  The completed thesis is 350 pages long and represents four years of  participation observation research which was spent primarily at one funeral home.  It has been a long learning curve , one which is not over because I have submitted my thesis.   I am grateful to the funeral directors who have openly shared with me of their time, experience and have been supportive in those moments of self doubt.  Without the directors  and their assistants who have been there every day with and for me to ask questions, bounce ideas off and who have allowed me to walk with them through the funeral service, I would not have been able to write with as much passion, clarity and I believe vision of the past, present and future. I am indebted to those of you who responded to my blog about the future. I have taken your words into consideration and incorporated them into my thesis, citing you as my sources.  In particular, Shane Hessey, Denise Coultras, Thomas Poulton, Randy McCormick and of course Ryan are deserving of my appreciation.  Where would I be without the countless number of families who have allowed me to share in their own journeys at the funeral home?  As well, there have been members of the clergy who shared their ideas and beliefs.  Of course, it should be mentioned that I have a following of parafuneral staff who work the cemeteries, the mausoleum and crematorium who have taken time to indulge me and show me how important their work is to the seamlessness  of funeral service. A thesis, as I have said previously, is something very special because it is a unique creation which represents hour upon hour of reading, reviewing , observing, writing and finally more writing to bring it to fruition. It has a life of its own and sometimes has taken  me to places which I never intended but in the final analysis, I am thankful that it is a deep as it is broad.  Sometimes, writing a thesis is a lonely process of working through texts, translating and putting together the pieces by adding a particular piece which is new.  In my case, I chose to do fieldwork, to put myself out there day after day working the long hours, spending time on the front stage as well as backstage so that I could speak with some authority about the hours, the relationships that develop with other staff, bereaved families, the deceased and the clergy which was not based on hearsay but on actual experience.  I have walked the walk in many ways and now , with the thesis doing the rounds, I get to talk the talk and more ... lots more.  I have refuted Jessica Mitford wherever possible, supported the insights of Vanderlyne Pine, as well as Mike Kubasak and Gary Laderman ( who wrote the most recent history of the industry in the US).  I have found new ways of talking about  the industry and personalized service which is more inclusive regardless of whether speaking about corporates or independents.  I have looked at trends and discovered that the funeral industry is not dying a slow death of  its own but rather that it requires some soul searching about the hows and whys of what is being done and  to recognize that the future is coming quickly and that means change from inside to meet the demands being put on the industry by the babyboomers who are a different market breed than their parents.   What I have learned first and foremost is that funeral service is about team work. There is no place for an ego, it isn’t about me or you, rather it is about them – the deceased and the bereaved. There is no letter I in the word team.  More than that, what I have learned  is that if it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to bury a (wo)man and that although my name will go on the thesis which is titled “death becomes them”,  there is a long list of others who have contributed to its growth and development – in fact it took a village to raise the thesis from its infancy to its maturity .. Thanks to everyone !! kathy jacksonthesisfirst draftfuneral directors Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:18:48 GMT Fellow CD.com Member, Kathy Jackson, Needs Your Help - Let Your Voice Be Heard http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000336#00000336 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000336.gif" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The following is a letter I recieved from fellow CD.com member Kathy Jackson. Kathy asked me to please post this and share it with you, the members of CD.com. Kathy is seeking your feedback on a few funeral industry releated topics. Please read the following letter:   Connectingdirectors.com Members, As many readers know, I am currently writing a doctoral thesis which focuses on the role of the funeral director as a mediator for the deceased, the bereaved and the clergy.  It is now time for me to make a contribution to the death and dying literature after almost four years of participation observation and having amassed and read an extensive library concerning death, body image, grief, funerals and the work of funeral directors.   The final chapter of my thesis includes a section which will focus on the future of the funeral industry.  In part, it will be based on personal insight from my fieldwork, discussions with funeral directors as well as on supporting literature.  I would like to give you,  the readers at Connecting Directors the opportunity to express your ideas about the future of the funeral industry, ideas about the challenges facing the industry at large or on an individual basis as the “babyboomer” generation begins to die and make demands concerning the type of funeral and method of disposal they want for themselves and their loved ones.   I open the forum up to everyone because I believe thant everyone at CD.com has ideas that are worthy of being shared.  I ask you to share these thoughts with me as openly and honestly as possible.  I can assure you that if I quote you that I will attribute the quote to you in my thesis. I am not looking to steal ideas but rather to share your ideas. I do not need to tell you that the number of individuals choosing cremation is continuing to rise and this is having an impact on every funeral home.  Recently there has been an attempt by SCI to overtake Stewarts.  Last year SCI  took over Alderwoods , making it the largest corporate funeral group in the world.  Within the industry more so than by the consumers there is discussion about the type of services being delivered by corporate funeral groups at the grass root level.  At the same time, many are wondering if the independent funeral home will survive. Finally, if you decide to contribute, you can do so by emailing me directly or responding to this blog. I have a deadline for completion of August  25 to submit my last chapter.   This is your industry and no one knows it better than you.  Let your voice be heard. Thank You! Kathy Jackson helpkathy jackson Tue, 19 Aug 2008 13:33:51 GMT Funeral Industry: “Come in Houston. Houston we have a problem.” http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000318#00000318 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000318.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Houston, do you know where my community is located on the map?  Can you tell me who lives and works in my community?  Have you considered our ethnic and religious diversity or our economic status?  Did you spend time speaking to the owners of local businesses?  Have you taken the time to reflect on the history of our funeral home and its commitment to service?   Funeral Industry: "Come in Houston. Houston we have a problem." By: Kathy Jackson I suggest that the answer to all these questions is NO. Our community is a blend of urban and rural, offering the best of both worlds.  We are located on the fringe of a larger city and are quite pleased with our “town” status. Even though we were amalgamated a number of years ago, we have managed to continue to thrive as “town” within a city. We have a main street which is dotted with small stores, boutiques and eateries. We are located on that main street, not far from where the original funeral home was built at the turn of the century.  Our funeral home is a beautiful old home that has always been used as a funeral home. The manager or an employee always lives above and watches over the home.  A number of years ago, a beautiful non denominational chapel was added to the funeral home. The many windows flood the chapel with light no matter what the season or the weather on the day of a funeral.  Families love our chapel. Why? Because we are a very multicultural community and our chapel is truly a peaceful place where one can meditate regardless of personal creed.  Despite having seating for nearly 200, it is open and airy and bright.  We also have a reception cottage that families use following a funeral or memorial service as a place of gathering for a time of friendship and refreshment. It too is open and airy, decorated tastefully and opens up to a large yard which families enjoy from May to October. Community organizations can use it without charge. Our community is a blend of ethnicities and religious convictions. We are known for having a church on every corner and we are proud of that fact.  Our funeral home has close ties to most of the local churches and we rely on those clergy to assist our unaffiliated families with their funeral ritual needs.  We have florists who have served this community for many years with beautiful arrangements that celebrate life, at a reasonable cost.  No, they are not always the cheapest or bargain basement prices, but they are local, they are proud of their work and the community shops there.  We also have caterers and engravers and others who we have depended upon over the years to help us help our families. In fact, we are a team of service providers for families who have suffered the death of a loved one.  We are all committed to providing the best service possible to our families.  We meet at Lion’s Club, Rotary, Civitan, and other groups which work to benefit our community. We are visible because we work, live and raise our families in this community. We are proud of who we are, what we do and how we do it. In recent months, you have eroded our base of friendships and working relationships by making decisions which are applied to every funeral home without exception. In private we question your decisions about centralizing everything from embalming to vehicles to flowers.  We wonder what the impact will be on our families, even as we assure them that we are offering them the very best service and the very best prices. In private we know that our prices are more than 2000 dollars more than the independent funeral home which is located five minutes down the road.  In private we know that we cannot justify the price difference with catchy slogans or jingles. In private we are waiting for another mistake to occur because there are “too many cooks in the kitchen”.   That brings me to the point of wondering why a bereaved family is passed from person to person often seeing as many as 6 or 7 different individuals from the time of arrangement to the time of committal. On occasion, the bereaved family has been known to ask who the funeral director running the funeral is.  Families want consistency at a time when their world is chaotic and often we fail them.  It goes beyond what families can see to what we know about funeral service. The operative word is service, not a hint of sales.  Funeral directors are not sales persons; they are death educators and knowledgeable about the many options which the bereaved can choose from to meet their emotional, spiritual and financial needs.  Why are our pre-need people on commission?  Can we not afford to pay them a salary the same way a funeral director is paid a salary?  You see them as salespersons, I see them as deathways educators in the same way that funeral directors are educators. No one needs to be rushed into purchasing a casket and a funeral.  Prearranging requires time and thought before making a decision. It requires guidance and options and education about caskets, vaults, funeral rituals, methods of disposal, consideration about music, poetry, pallbearers and all this should be discussed with other important family members such as children before reaching a decision.  When an aftercare is being done, it is not the time to pressure the newly bereaved to attend to their own funeral. More often than not, we offend our family members rather than winning them with our care and concern for their well being and our assistance in documentation.  Would it be too much considering the cost of a funeral or memorial service to give each of our executors a planning book at $40 so they could organize themselves with our help?  Instead we offer them phone cards and bookmarks.  We charge them a gas surcharge despite the fact that we often do not use our vehicles or we use them minimally compared to the fee for service.  Have you looked at the charges recently for graveside or direct cremations and not wondered why we are charging families for  services which are not necessary and might even be considered as charging twice. When we ask questions, we are given “partyline” answers. We are often overseen by superiors who show a lack of insight concerning trends in the industry and are not open to new ideas.  Green funerals are not only coming, they are here.  The independent funeral homes are offering green caskets and green funerals as an alternative to cremation.  While we may decrease the cost of purchasing caskets, urns, and flowers by centralizing our purchasing power, we are cheating our families of new products which are available to them elsewhere. When we make suggestions, why are we told that “it wont fly with Houston” before anyone considers making an out of the box suggestion?  What happened to teamwork?  Why does a funeral home need to be managed by a funeral director? Certainly we could learn something from the hospitals which lost money when they were run by doctors and began to make money when they were lead by managers who had a sense of business, PR, community relations, communication and how to work with their staff with a strong but human approach.  We may be a small funeral home but we work hard and we belong to you, even if you have placed us in the care of designated others to ensure we follow the directives and read the bulletins. “Houston, come in...... WE HAVE A PROBLEM!” funeral industryfuneralindustrynasahoustonkathyjackson Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:53:31 GMT Funeral Industry: No, I Cannot Sell You a Funeral Today For Some Tomorrow http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000295#00000295 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000295.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Recently I considered applying for a pre-need position when it became available.  I considered it very briefly before deciding that I could not sell a funeral today for some tomorrow.  I thought about the facts – I know a lot about funeral and memorial services. I know about personalization and how to create a funeral that reflects the person who died as well as the people who are left behind, the bereaved.  I am aware of the legal ramifications of pre-planning as it applies to the executor’s decision to carry out the wishes of the now deceased as they are specified in the arrangement.  I know the laws concerning embalming and disposal. I am even able to explain the procedure of embalming as well as cremation.  In my mind I do not see a difference between going to the cemetery for a committal service and going to the crematorium to perform the very same ritual for the deceased.  I have taken the time to learn about not only my own cultural response to death but that of many other cultures. As well, I am tuned into the social changes which are impacting on our decisions concerning funerary ritual and disposal.  So, why didn’t I jump at the opportunity to become a pre-planner, to sell funerals and memorials to people with the insight to look ahead and recognize the stressors placed on every family? Clearly it would be an opportunity in which I could educate any number of people about our deathways and the choices which are currently available to them.   Funeral Industry: No, I Cannot Sell You a Funeral Today For Some Tomorrow By: Kathy Jackson     The answer is far more complicated than the simple and most obvious one – that I do not want to sell funerals or memorials to anyone.  Jessica Mitford (1963, 1998) and Tony Walter (1990, 1996) have argued that the only people who benefit from pre-arranging and pre-paying is the funeral industry. More specifically they argue that the funeral home where the arrangements have been made benefits because they have decreased the market share with each arrangement made.  In fact, Mitford goes out of her way to negate the positive good which these choices might have for the bereaved.  I believe that both Mitford and Walter fail to understand the emotional stressors which are alleviated when funerals are pre-arranged and pre-paid.  Furthermore, they express concern about the security of the monies which are paid by individuals into funds.  In Canada, funeral homes do not retain control over the money which is being invested in funeral home services.  Money which is invested is contributed either to a trust fund which is monitored by a bank or to an insurance policy. In either instance, the money is guaranteed because it is controlled by government regulation which ensures that it accumulates interest and remains securely invested.  This does not appear to be the case in the United States where recent preneed scams have been reported and millions of dollars have been lost. I would like to say that I am surprised, but I am not.  The history of the two funeral industries is quite different from their inception to their regulation.  That is a topic for another day! Back to the matter of why I cannot sell you a funeral today for some tomorrow.  I struggle with the concept of selling funerals and memorials rather than assisting individuals to make good choices about how they want their body to be cared for, the type of service they desire or do not desire, the music, poetry which reflects their life, who they wish to lead the service and where, not to forget the stationary packages.  Perhaps it is semantics to discriminate between selling and assisting or facilitating someone else’s choice in these matters. It is petty, I know.  I struggle that sales persons are hired to cinch the deal, make the sale or however you want to phrase the transaction.  Planning a funeral requires insight, and lots of it.  There is more to planning than choosing a package which details the type of casket, the type of service, the type of stationary.  Planning a funeral in advance requires the same kind of detail as planning one at need. The big difference is that time is on our family’s side in advance planning. I cannot rush people to make a choice which will ultimately define who they were.  I want to give them information and choices, lots of choices every step of the way. Furthermore, I want to give them time – time to think, to process all the information we are sharing, to ask questions, to consider whether they want to personalize and how, to talk with their family about their decisions, to consult a member of the clergy about using the chapel or using the church, to identify areas of concern. I want to gather as much information as I can about each individual who sits with me and talks about end life planning so that when the time comes, the funeral director will have extensive notes prior to meeting with the bereaved. I want the person who is working with families to know whether the funeral home has an organ, a sound system, available clergy members of all denominations. I want the preplanner to know what it takes to organize and facilitate a funeral in regards to staff and vehicles so they can answer questions.  I want pre-planners to have the inside information that funeral directors share with the bereaved.  I want them to be on salary not on commission so they do not have to hustle to make sales to survive. I want them to be knowledgeable about the products which they are helping individuals to choose. I have an inside vision of what pre-arranging should entail. I cannot sell you a funeral today for some tomorrow because I will not be rushed and I will not rush anyone who cares enough about protecting their loved ones from the additional stressors of a death to be rushed. If we want excellence in pre-arranging, we must first demand it from ourselves and then pass it on to the individuals we deal with. Mitford saw the pitfalls but she focuses on the wrong aspect.  In the industry, we have access to information, to countless suppliers and new ideas. The sooner we tap into this and begin sharing with our families the better. We need to protect our families from the scams by finding ways to safeguard their investments.  We need to see pre-need as something other than a sale which will ensure a funeral home’s future.   When we do this, we will regain a measure of dignity which has been lost by the funeral industry through preneed scandals.   <a href="Http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" /></a>  <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com" target="_blank"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a> funeralindustrypre-needpreneed Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:49:45 GMT Award of Excellence in Funeral Service http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000293#00000293 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000293.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   To whom it may concern: I would like to bring to your attention the staff of the Marlatt funeral home.  I believe they reflect the ideal in teamwork, integrity, communication and compassion. These are more than “buzz” words and excellence in service is the “norm”.  I would like to share some of my observations and experiences.  Marlatt’s is not just another Alderwood funeral home, every year it becomes “home” for over a hundred families, sometimes for a few hours, sometime for a few days.  Each family becomes a part of the Marlatt family.   Marlatt’s may be corporately owned but it continues to serve its families with the heart, spirit and generosity of a family owned business.   Marlatt’s is located in Dundas,  a small town that borders Hamilton,Ontario.  It serves a community that is diversified by religion, ethnicity, and economy. Its catchment area is both rural and urban.  The Marlatt name is well known in the region and has served in some instances several generations of families.  The home itself is bright, tastefully decorated in warm colors and lends itself to welcoming families. The non denominational chapel is appealing to families from many different religious backgrounds, including Bahai , Hindu, Jewish and Native Canadian as well as Catholic and Protestant families.  It easily avails itself to accommodating the rituals and traditions of every family.  On one occasion it was necessary for the front of the chapel to be re-arranged to provide an open area upon which sheets were laid, an alter set up and flowers strewn around the casket for a Hindu funeral service. The funeral directors met with the family and assisted with the arrangement of the funeral ritual space.  I have always found the directors respectful of traditions which appear foreign or different, asking relevant questions which will allow the staff to understand and anticipate any special needs the family members or their guests might have.  This attention to detail extends beyond families with special ritual needs.  Each family brings with them special needs and concerns. Today many families are not church members but still wish to have a funeral or memorial service which reflects their personal spirituality.  The funeral directors continually assist families in designing and orchestrating a funeral ceremony that is perfectly tailored spiritually and financially to their needs.  Frequently it is the responsibility of the funeral director to arrange for and introduce local clergy to the bereaved family.  It is with care and concern that an appropriate clergy member is chosen to meet the spiritual needs of a family.  Music, poetry, toe tapping and clapping are only a few of the innovations which the funeral home staff have possible and overseen during a funeral.  This is an age of tremendous cultural diversity. As well it is a time where “doing it my way” is very important.             Families at Marlatt’s are always treated with respect and care. Shortly after I started my fieldwork, one client commented to me that despite the fact that she was in need of social assistance the funeral directors and staff made her feel as if she were a million dollar client.  Every client is important and every client needs to feel that their loss is important to the staff working with them.  The Marlatt staff is sensitive to the needs of all its families, regardless of the circumstance of death, religious or ethnic customs or financial constraints.  Funeral homes are a business but they are a business which serves families at their weakest emotional moment.  Time after time I have observed the Marlatt funeral directors guiding families and making suggestions that will allow them to make wise choices which meet their needs emotionally, spiritually and financially. A funeral home is charged with a tremendous responsibility within its community.  Marlatt’s provides family members and the community support not only in the funeral home when a death has occurred but every staff member is actively involved in community work.  Active membership and participation in the Lion’s Club, Rotary, Civitan, local education programs, regional fairs, fund raisers and an annual garage sale are only a few ways that Marlatt’s gives back to the community it serves. Staff members are active and visible in the communities in which they live and work.  Staff members are the best advertising available for the funeral home as they are hard working, friendly and engaging in their diverse interests and backgrounds. Personal time is often given up to attend and participate in these groups and their activities.  Another way the funeral home gives back to the community by allowing volunteer groups to take advantage of the family center for their meetings without charge.  A staff member opens the house and prepares coffee for the group. This small gesture brings people into the funeral home and allows them to meet the staff (even briefly), to see and use the facilities under pleasant circumstances.  Marlatt’s reaches out to the community by providing education seminars. As well, every spring, the funeral home invites and welcomes members of the community who have lost a loved one not only in the past year but in years gone by to come, to share and remember as a community. One of the most impressive aspects about being a Marlatt team member is that the staff is a team in a very real sense.  There is a real sense of camaraderie among the staff, each person working towards a common goal of serving the family. Tasks such as washing cars, vacuuming, changing over are shared by everyone. I have never seen a team member leave early even when visitation runs well past its concluding time.  New staff members are made to feel not only welcomed but as an important contributing team member regardless of their position, experience or inexperience.  As an outsider with little experience in the secular funeral home it was with great trepidation that I began my fieldwork.  I was immediately assigned to shadow a funeral director’s assistant who has years of experience.  The funeral directors also willing gave of their time instructing, explaining and positioning me in situations where I would benefit from both observing and participating.  Continual learning on the job is an essential part of delivering excellence in service. It takes time, patience, in-service training and staff support to arrive at a time when a staff member is able to “think on their feet”. Communication among team members is vital to seamless service. Each person working with or around the family is kept abreast of information that is critical to serving the family by the funeral director responsible for the family. At Marlatt’s staff are always highly visible. This is important for two reasons. First, staff are able to observe the visitation and be aware of any problems, whether they are social or logistic. Second, a visible staff is an approachable staff, one that can readily answer questions, write donation cards, or simply put visitors at ease as they arrive.  I believe it is reassures families when they have a sense of familiarity and ease with not only the funeral director but all the staff.  A family recently commented how appreciative they were that the staff during a visitation were concerned for the welfare of an elderly family member whose mobility was limited by bringing warm drinks, arranging alternative washroom facilities and assistance in and out of the home.  The funeral home team expands to include family members from the time they make arrangements until the committal and beyond.  Families are our most important team members and as such it is important that information be shared and flow in both directions.  Families need to feel a sense of control over their situation and this is only possible when funeral directors assist them with easily understood explanations and directions about what, where, when , who and how …Some families require explanations to be repeated or gentle guidance in positioning individuals.  One of the ways this is accomplished is a brief discussion following visitation which outlines the morning of the funeral, obtains the names of pallbearers, allows families to choose in an unrushed manner, flowers for the cemetery as well as finalizing the vehicle procession. At the same time, any questions or concerns the family might have can be addressed. I believe this reassures the family on many levels. Families should never leave unsure about the events of the next day.  Like the staff, the family needs to be informed and prepared. The funeral day is stressful enough without adding additional sources of stress that can easily be avoided. On the morning of the funeral, the funeral directors spend time with the family, meet with the pallbearers to explain their duties as well as to ascertain any difficulties that might be foreseen with lifting and carrying.  With open and clear channels of communication, it is possible to make changes quickly and easily drawing little or no attention to the event.  Alderwoods expects excellence among their staff.  The Dundas community expects excellence. Marlatt Funeral Home in Dundas exemplifies excellence in teamwork, integrity, communication skills, and in demonstrating compassion for their families.  A funeral home is only as good as the staff that works there.  No amount of advertising in the media can replace that of satisfied families.  Perhaps you see nothing extraordinary in my observations about the staff of Marlatt funeral home. Perhaps you see only individuals fulfilling their role as a funeral director or funeral director’s assistant or para-funeral home staff member.  I see a team that is modest, dedicated and goes beyond what is required with every family they serve.  They are to be commended for their work ethic and deserve to be recognized with an award of excellence.  Marlatt’s is the small funeral home with a huge heart!!   Respectfully submitted, Kathy Jackson PhD candidate (Department of Religious Studies, McMaster University, Hamilton,   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com" target="_blank"><img title="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns120x240.gif" /></a>    <a href="http://www.funeralstat.com" target="_blank"><img title="funeralstat.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/funeralstat.gif" border="0" alt="funeralstat.gif" /></a>    funeralservice.awardexcellence Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:17:40 GMT Funeral Industry: Response to A Horse is a Horse, Of Course, Of Course http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000286#00000286 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000286.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> My article was in response to another writer's comment that the media tends to report wonderful meaningful services for heroes but that the attention which is given to the funeral industry tends to focus on what goes wrong rather than what goes right.  Furthermore, people tend to remember what goes wrong in general and that applies directly to the funeral industry. One pre-need scam leads individuals who might be considering pre-need arrangements to be doubtful about the safety of their money.  One rogue Crematorium operator and we find ourselves answering questions about the assurances of our providers and then distributing pamphlets to ease consumer distress.  Some funeral directors receive kickbacks from their company for everything they sell from caskets to packaged funerals and on to cemetery stones, but that doesn't mean everyone gets a kickback.  When information such as this is played up by the media, it damages all of us. The public's memory is long and unforgiving. As a result, the funeral industry has been put in the position of constantly apologizing for itself and its membership.   Funeral Industry: Response to a Horse is a Horse, Of Course, Of Course By: Kathy Jackson The question is how to draw good publicity for a profession which can hold its head up high with pride in knowing that they are serving the public with compasion and insight, performing tasks which most individuals are loathe to perform for their dead.  Getting good press is always difficult.  I do not expect the press to write about every good deed or random act of kindness performed by funeral directors and others associated with the industry. What I do expect is honest reporting.  Of course it is not only the funeral industry which is affected by the media's bias or distortion of the facts. Not so long ago, the press damned Israel for attacking an ambulance and killing its occupants. Turns out that the ambulance was staged and the occupant was already dead and had been placed in a rusting out ambulance left at the side of the road. The picture was seen around the world and Israel damned. The apology that followed by Reuters was of some very small consequence.  Funeral professionals are often blamed at large for something which went wrong somewhere. There is a huge fear factor involved - fear of the unknown, fear of the dead, fear of a profession that is not the choice of most individuals.  It is easier to damn than to praise. I began my article by saying that a funeral home which I had nominated for an award of merit lost to a funeral home that staged a memorial for a police horse.  Where we place our emphasis in the industry for service and to whom we give merit needs to be re-evaluated when a funeral home team which exemplifies the very best qualities of the industry loses to a one time memorial service for a horse.  Something just isnt right in that scenario.  I then went on to talk about the media and the historical relationship of the funeral industry with the media, in literature, movies...  We need to look at our history and begin to understand the social, political and cultural forces which are at play and constantly impact upon the funeral industry which includes funeral directors and cemetery and crematorium managers and their staff. We need to be aware of what has been written, said and how the industry is portrayed if there is any chance of changing our image in the public forum.  Our history is what brought us to our present and will take us into the future. Only a short sighted individual believes that we can focus on today and forget about yesterday.  Jessica Mitford is here to stay, she planted the seeds in 1963, watered them again in 1998 and the plant has taken hold. Coincidently, people began to want something different in the style of their funeral, they wanted something different in the rituals of funerals and change came.  We should be grateful to historians like Laderman who have given us a social cultural history of the funeral industry in America because he has done the leg work for us to see the high and low points. This allows us to identify quite easily what was said and done and the outcomes. No such history is available in Canada. A new book on the funeral industry in Ontario is currently being published but it will not have the depth concerning many of the issues which Laderman identifies.  The past is our teacher and we need to learn from that to move forward. T he world is changing rapidly but what people want and expect from their funeral professional remains fairly constant -compassion, insight and good service at a reasonable cost. They want new rituals and that often means more family involvement in respect to the actual funeral. Funeral ritual is the domain of the clergy, chaplain and celebrant. The funeral director's role is to facilitate the relationship between the clergy and bereaved and to facilitate the more technical aspects including body preparation, cremation and the funeral. The newspapers do not rely upon the funeral industry to support them by providing obituaries.  I discovered during my research that there are a number of newspapers which provide a specific number  (5) of lines for a minimal cost to the family as a service to the family. The payback is that people might take a subscription to the paper that treated them decently during their time of loss. Other papers charge a modified rate per line. Certainly the newspaper is not getting rich by printing obituaries in comparison to a full page ad by another company.  Finally, we have barely got a foot into the door of the 21st century. That means that what is going on now does not even qualify as history , technically it is current events.  We can begin to predict what the future will hold for the industry only if we are astute at looking at our past, learning from our mistakes and then attempting to address the emotional, social and cultural needs of the bereaved who turn to funeral professionals when a death occurs. With insight we can bring about change before we are lead to it by necessity or forced to make change by the lawmakers of the land.  It takes insight and it means that we be more critical of our own performance.  Change must be initiated on the inside and be demonstrated to the outside. Whisteblowers are just that, blowing in the air hoping that someone will hear them.  If you want to make change, start small with every family you work with and grow larger by becoming involved in local funeral directors associations, state and provincial associations, help by teaching and examining new candidates as well as working with the clergy who need our support and insight, just as we rely upon theirs.  The 21st century will bring many changes. We can be on the cutting edge of those changes and as deathways educators lead the public, not blindly but with knowledge into the brave new future. Your choice is to be a part of a wonderful profession or to stand apart and cast stones. Let the man who is blameless cast the first stone.     kathyjacksonfuneralindustryblog Mon, 16 Jun 2008 14:09:11 GMT Funeral Industry: A Horse is a Horse, Of Course, Of Course http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000283#00000283 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000283.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Hard to believe, a memorial service for a horse won the award of excellence for a funeral home.  Of course, it could be a case of sour grapes, that the funeral home which I nominated did not win despite the fact that they exemplify teamwork, integrity, communication and compassion.  The memorial service for the horse, who incidentally happened to die in the line of duty was written up by a national newspaper. The horse sadly met its demise at the bumper of a car that ran a stop light. In contrast, the funeral home which  I nominated quietly goes about its business of serving families in the community before, during and after their time of need.   Funeral Industry: A Horse is a Horse, Of Course, Of Course By: Kathy Jackson  Not one media person has ever come to the funeral home and used the staff as a resource in the past four years while I did my fieldwork.  Despite several damning articles in the newspaper about funeral homes and the funeral industry in general, not one journalist took the time to seek out a funeral director for clarification about the law, about North American deathways, or funeral home procedure. On the other hand, I have left messages and sent emails to the press with the hope of educating the media.  I doubt anyone is surprised to learn that no one has ever contacted me for further clarification of my messages. In fact, I once left a very detailed message which I followed up with an email copied to the journalist and the editor, and even taking that rather aggressive approach did not generate enough interest for a journalist to come to the funeral home and meet either with me or the directing manager.  Many within the funeral industry feel as if they are constantly under the watchful eye of the media, which is waiting with baited breath, for there to be a slip up.  How exciting to catch the death workers, those tall, gaunt men portrayed in dark shadowy rooms performing mysterious operations on corpses.  Funeral directors are portrayed in literature as well as in movies as stereotypes who are quite other; an unusual group of individuals who dabble on the dark side. Stereotypes capture the imagination and often prevent the public from seeing funeral directors as cultural experts or as I like to think of them as ritual specialists who transform the dead from the ghastly corpse into a socially accepted symbol of the person who has died. The stereotype of the funeral director has a long history in which those involved in the dismal trade have been portrayed as “objects of ridicule, subjects for satire, and generally as cardboard characters”(Laderman 2003:86).  Mark Twain portrayed the undertaker in Life on the Mississippi as shifty, ambitious, callous, deceitful and an arrogant schemer.  Laderman also suggests that the characterizations of the funeral director served as a vehicle for recent criticism of everything that was wrong with American deathways – too materialistic, too secular and too unrealistic (2003:92).   In his book which describes the cultural history of the American Funeral home in the 20th century, Rest in Peace, Gary Laderman (2003) devotes a chapter to Jessica Mitford, perhaps the most famous journalist to launch an attack on the funeral industry.  Mitford’s book became a launching pad for public attacks which forced funeral directors to respond to the cruel depictions found in popular media.  The funeral industry was under attack and it made great press.  Mitford condemned the industry for making a business out of selling services for the last passage. Before Mitford, the industry survived because the experience of the bereaved with their local funeral director did not for the most part reflect the popular portrayal of the funeral director in popular media.  The truth is that funeral directors were no match for Jessica Mitford who persuaded the public with humour, wit, and sarcasm that the stereotype was indeed the reality.  Since Jessica Mitford wrote The American Way of Death (1963) and again revisited the subject in 1998, there have been others who have felt the need to ride on her coattails. Occasionally, there have been writers from within the industry who have deemed themselves to be the whistleblowers for the public, but no one has been as successful in bringing negative publicity to the industry as Mitford.  Cries from the industry fell on deaf ears.  Laderman’s book never made it to the best seller’s list. Why not?  Simple answer is that he chose to open up the discussion about the funeral industry by presenting a very different portrayal, one which identifies the social, psychological and cultural forces which have acted upon those who live and die in North America and the professionals who deal with the dead and bereaved. As a historian, Laderman sought out new sources which supported the recorded history of the funeral industry, of embalming and funerary ritual as well as individuals who could speak from the inside with expertise.  In some respects, the book became an apology, refuting Mitford’s claims.  Following Laderman’s lead, my own research portrays funeral directors very differently from Mitford. Yes, there are rogues in the industry and they need to be dealt with by the powers within the industry, licensing boards and their tribunals.  Much of what Mitford wrote does not stand up to scrutiny.  A Catholic priest from Montana does not speak for all priests or clergy.  She fails to take into account the spirituality of North Americans let alone their culture and the way we are tied to our land.  Ultimately, despite her huge success, Mitford missed the boat in her discussion of the funeral industry. She was novel in her approach, burying her personal grudge deep within her research. In the final analysis, she found the weak links in the industry and that makes for interesting reading.   Where Mitford was correct was her prediction concerning the rise of “corporates” in the funeral industry.  She believed these rapidly growing companies would lose sight of service in favor of sales and that families would suffer as a result. Mitford opposed ostentatious expensive funerals served up by “salesmen” masquerading as funeral directors. To an extent, Mitford has made us all watchdogs of the funeral industry, whether her name is a household name or not.  I suppose that is why the memorial for the horse made the news but the values and hard work of the funeral directors working with bereaved families on a daily basis is not noteworthy. Of course, when the body which was to be buried was cremated by mistake, that made the front page. Why?  It was a personal tragedy story and that sells newspapers. Public beware !!   Sad to say, we are more interested in what goes wrong than when things go right.  When things go wrong in the funeral industry, they go very wrong and the public becomes “spooked” about every funeral director, funeral home, crematorium and cemetery.   I am not sure how to change the public image, other than one funeral at a time, one family at a time.  I return to my premise that education is key, inside the industry as well as outside in the public forum. As well, returning to Pine (1973), who believed that community funeral homes are better able to present themselves as having a vested interest in their community by participating in volunteer organizations and sitting on local boards.  Finally, we need to remember that families are part of the funeral home team and we need to listen carefully to what they are saying and respond with care and compassion.    kathyjacksonfuneralfuneral industry Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:36:32 GMT "Most" is a Cardinal Sin - I am Not "Most" and Neither Are YOU http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000280#00000280 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000280.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>    One of the really wonderful things about being in a PhD program is that students are required to read for depth and breadth in the area they wish to specialize. A student must be able to read and understand the literature. As well, there is an application component. In other words, a student must look at what they are observing in the field and be able to utilize the literature to support their argument or conversely to use their argument to disprove the literature.  There are no texts which are not valuable, regardless of when they were written. Jessica Mitford wrote in 1963 and is still quoted today. She is remembered for having brought the funeral industry to the attention of the government which resulted in regulations.  Vanderlyne Pine, wrote ten years later in 1973. His text which distinguishes the difference in bureaucratic organization between community and cosmopolitan funeral homes and the implications to funeral professionals remains topical, 35 years later.   Other authors have looked at how we approach our dead, our relationship with our dead, identified ways in which we change or transform our dead. As well, there are authors who have researched the ways our spirituality is changing and the implications that has on rites of passage.     Funeral Industry: "Most" is a Cardinal Sin - I am Not "Most" And Neither Are YOU By: Kathy Jackson We cannot have a future without remembering our past. It is that simple. The funeral industry has grown and changed from its inception and continues to evolve. In part, the industry is changing to meet the changing needs of its clients.  Families no longer live around the corner from one another and are often separated by great distances. Families no longer attend traditional church services as frequently but their level of spirituality has remained steady and even increased.  What is now considered ostentatious for funerals was once the gold standard.  Today, some ethnic groups continue to spend large amounts of money of very ornate caskets, tombs, and flowers because that is their tradition. Others look towards spending more conservatively, looking at green burials, rental caskets, direct cremations. None of these choices indicates that bereaved families are not interested in funeral or memorial services but rather that their needs are changing and the funeral industry must meet those needs. "What did you sell ?" and "how much did you get?" should not be phrases which are tossed about in any office or coffee room of a funeral home.  "Who did you help today" and "what did you teach?"  is more often the topic of discussion among funeral directors who believe they are in a profession which serves families at their time of need.  There is nothing wrong with a green funeral or a low cost funeral.  To suggest that there is means that we are passing judgment on the choices made by our bereaved families.  The role of the funeral director is to facilitate those choices rather than to push our own choices on families.  Vanderlyne Pine is very clear in his discussion of this issue.  As a funeral director who believes in helping families decrease their costs when arranging funerals for a loved one, it is surprising that you adopt a judgmental position on those who choose to follow their own course rather than the one you recommend.  There are funeral homes which operate as not for profit and make this fact widely known. They charge families for their services and for the goods which they purchase, not at their cost but at a cost which will allow them to stay afloat and pay their staff and the funeral home expenses.  There are funeral homes which offer deluxe service packages and families who choose those homes are well aware of the type of service and merchandise which is available to them before they walk through the door.  Yes, there is a markup on caskets .. there is also a markup on clothing, food, automobiles, gasoline, construction, garden supplies. In fact, nothing is sold at cost. If we lived in a society where goods were exchanged for services we could argue that a casket might be worth 10 chickens and a bushel of apples, potatoes, and a several bags of flour, not to mention a lot of eggs.  We don’t have that luxury, we pay in dollars and cents and in turn, we support an economy of others who help to support us. Education of the public is key to the success of the funeral industry. It is essential that people become educated about the options available to them so they can make educated choices when the time comes.  High school students need to be educated by death professionals in order to help them understand the life cycle.  Funeral service professionals come from many fields including funeral directors, bereavement counsellors, vault manufacturers, urn manufacturers, cemetery and mausoleum directors. As a group we have a wide range of knowledge and topics which the public is for the most part unaware until they find the need to use our services. We need to build on our history of service to families whether we expect a family to return to our funeral home or cemetery office or not.  Good service is a philosophy it does not come with a price tag. My very first funeral family was a social service family which received the same good service as the next family who came through the door and spent 10 times the amount of money.  Final thought, having spent time doing research and then writing about my observations: never generalize. Most is a vague term used by those who cannot support their findings with either statistics or the literature.  Jessica Mitford suggested that most funeral directors were greedy and self serving. As well she suggested that most clergy did not want funeral home staff in their churches assisting with the casket or the family.  These facts do not hold up.  There is no most, there are only individuals. With all due respect, I doubt you know most funeral directors any more than I do. The difference between us, is that I have spent 4 years observing many funeral directors in many funeral homes ... and still, I do not dare to suggest that most funeral directors or funeral homes.  I do not dare to suggest that one rogue makes an entire industry into rogues.  WE need to be very careful not to fall into the pit which holds Jessica Mitford and her like, where our personal beliefs blind us from the reality of what north american society wants or needs in their deathways.     kathyjacksonfuneralindustry Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:25:12 GMT Funeral Industry: "Brush Up on Your Sales Pitch - Liz is Coming Monday" http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000278#00000278 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000278.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> It started with a brief note – “Brush up on your sales pitch…..”    What is it that funeral directors are selling to bereaved family members?  Is it peace of mind that their deceased loved one is in capable hands?  Are we selling the services for which we have been trained such as embalming, casketing, and the writing of obituary notices?  Or are we selling caskets, urns, vaults, videos and stationary books?     Funeral Industry: "Brush Up on Your Sales Pitch - Liz is Coming Monday" By: Kathy Jackson Jessica Mitford (1963, 1999) in her book The American Way of Death suggested that funeral directors were robbing the public blind by charging outrageous prices for goods and services they really did not need or possibly want.  Funeral directors as Mitford portrayed them were soft talking salesmen who convinced the emotionally vulnerable mourner to spend money on showy displays of caskets, flowers, limousines and monuments.  Since Mitford, others have followed in her footsteps suggesting ways in which the public can save money by changing the choices they make when arranging a funeral or memorial service. Tony Walter suggested in 1993 that the problem with funerals is that they cost anything at all.   Geoffrey Gorer (1965) a contemporary of Mitford and a fellow Englishman, identified the problem with funerals was that people no longer had a sense of what was expected of them when a death occurred. As a result mourners turned to funeral professionals for guidance and instruction concerning what they should do, what they must do as well as how and who should conduct a funeral. As cremation became more popular individuals discovered they had not only a new way of disposing of a body but that new ways of paying tribute to a life lived were becoming available. As Stephen Prothero (2002) writes in his book Purified by Fire, there was a shift from religion to alternatives, ritualization changed from routinization to improvisation, from formality to informality and ostentation to simplicity (2002:12).   What does this mean to the funeral professional sitting across the table from a bereaved family?   The suggestion that funeral directors must hone their selling skills begs the question, what is being sold?  Let’s take a few seconds to imagine a family coming to the funeral home to arrange a funeral.  Perhaps they are “shoppers” as we refer to them, going from funeral home to funeral home checking the price of various goods such as the cost of purchasing or renting a casket or an urn and various services such as embalming which also includes dressing and casketing, the registration of the death and calling the coroner or arranging for an organist.  The number of “shoppers” is very small in comparison to the number of families who have decided to make arrangements based upon a funeral home’s reputation.  More likely, they are a family in need.  A funeral home’s reputation is its most important asset according to Pine’s study of community and cosmopolitan funeral homes (1975).  Furthermore, a funeral home’s reputation is built on the service which the funeral directors provide to families and the relationship which it is able to sustain within the community by having directors who are active in various local organizations and volunteer groups.  The word “sales” is not mentioned in Pine’s ethnography about the funeral industry. For that matter, the word “sales” does not figure highly in the descriptions offered by any mortuary or funeral service program about the role of the funeral director.  The words which appear repeatedly are skill, insight, compassion, knowledge, integrity and professional manner.   What do funeral directors sell to the public?  Nothing. Funeral directors are not salespersons although they have merchandise at their disposal which will be purchased by family members.  In this regard they are mediators or middlemen in the transaction. They should have no vested interest and receive no financial reward when a family chooses a casket, urn, vault or stationary package.  I suggest that funeral directors are educators and not salespersons.  The public has very basic ideas about the disposal of their dead. They know they can bury or they can cremate.  Many know that embalming is not required by law but is a choice. Most people are unaware of purpose of a vault or the difference between a vault and a grave liner.  To a great extent, people are, as Gorer discovered, ignorant of what needs to be done following a death. For this reason they turn to the death professional, a funeral director who has spent the time gaining knowledge about deathways and the options available for the bereaved.  Armed with education and experience, a funeral director has the opportunity to teach family members about traditional funeral ritual and to assist them in creating new rituals which speak to their spirituality and emotional needs; to make educated choices about embalming as well as the method of disposal by burial or cremation; whether a vault serves a purpose for protecting a casket or urn; what type of casket or urn will meet their needs intellectually, emotionally and financially.  Funeral directors do not sell caskets, urns, vaults or videos – they offer choices to bereaved family members. The merchandise will sell itself when the bereaved have been educated by a funeral professional.  Armed with information, consumers are enabled to make good decisions.  The education of the public concerning the goods and services available to them at a funeral home needs to begin long before the moment of need. As one funeral director told me, ‘funeral directors are purveyors of underground knowledge”. We need to share not sell that knowledge with our families. I believe that families who walk away from our funeral homes feeling confident about the choices they have made will return when the need arises. It is the quality of service rather than the intensity of the sales pitch that we want to be remembered for.  Funeral directors, do not brush up on your sales pitches. Hone your skills as arrangers, embalmers and directors but most of all brush up on your knowledge and share that openly and honestly with your families.   funeral idustrysales pitchkathy jackson Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:11:52 GMT Funeral Industry: We Make Great Things Happen - Part 2 http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000262#00000262 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000262.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   Pre-arranging a funeral gives family members the gift of time.  Some people choose to pre-arrange their own funeral, choosing the music or poetry they enjoyed in their lifetime as well as organizing the visitations, the type of casket, vault, and funeral or memorial which reflects who they are in their lifetime. In this way, it is a final gift to the family left behind, one last opportunity to share with the deceased, to remember, to laugh and to shed a tear.  Other times, it is a family member or members who come into the funeral home with a heavy heart as they realize that death is knocking at a loved one’s door.  The Jones family to our funeral home, anticipating a death and wanting to create a funeral that would be fitting of the man they loved as a husband and father; a funeral that would reflect his faith, his love, and his life.   Funeral Industry: We Make Great Things Happen - Part 2 By: Kathy Jackson  Funeral directors have an important role as teachers about our deathways, not only about what is required by provincial or state law, but they also share their knowledge about the choices available which allow a family to personalize the funeral service. Today, we have the technology and the creativity to help families put together something truly unique; something which belongs exclusively to them and which they choose to share with everyone who attends and even with those who are unable to be physically present.  Let’s fastforward to the morning of the funeral.  The chapel had been set up the evening prior after the visitation. The casket remains open, surrounded by the flowers chosen by the family, roses, red long stemmed roses in a vase to match the spray of roses on the casket.  The family pieces are surrounded by arrangements which have been sent by friends and co-workers.  The television has been raised to viewing height at the front of the chapel.  The CD player set with two discs the family have chosen for the funeral and the recession.  There is no order of service; There is no member of the clergy present;  There is no organist; There is no music playing in the background. Before allowing their guests into the chapel,  the family choose to have a few minutes of time with their father and husband before we close the casket.  Immediately following the closing the family is surrounded by other family members, friends and co-workers. The chapel is almost full. Outside the main parking lot is full and we are parking and flagging cars for the procession in the overflow lot and on the street.  At exactly 10am, the funeral for Jim Jones begins.  His eldest son approaches the dais and thanks everyone for coming and their support.  He informs them that he will be acting as the MC for the service. The first person he calls upon is a family friend who will lead the community in a short prayer and offer words of reflection.  This man is not a member of the clergy but from his words, it is clear that he is a man of deep faith.  He asks that everyone give thanks for Jim, for the time he walked among them as husband, father, friend, and coworker. He asks God to ease the pain in the hearts of the wife, children who will never know why but must accept God’s will. After a final moment of reflection and he returns to his seat in the congregation. The next speaker gives the first eulogy. This man is a co-worker of more than 25 years. He shares the story about how he and Jim met, a friendship which was forged and remained over time and distance. He too, offers a prayer of thanks for friendship.  The third and fourth speakers are the other two sons of Jim.  One after the other they reflect on their relationship with their father and how they have been groomed by their father and mother to face the years to come. The strengths they have learned to accept and carry with them as a man and as a father. The final speaker is the wife who reminisces about how she and Jim met, their 35 years together and life without Jim.  A different future than they had planned together for their retirement years.  The last speaker is the son who has acted as the MC. He invites everyone to watch a video which has been prepared for them.  The CD they have chosen begins exactly as the first video picture appears. There are in total 65 pictures on the disc, chosen carefully by the family to portray the life a man who played such an important and vital role in their lives.  The chapel is silent save the music. All eyes are on the television screen for the next 8 minutes. Occasionally a stifled sniff can be heard, a tissue taken from the box. Otherwise there is silence.  The last picture shows Jim waving as he gets into a limousine. The music ends.   The final announcements concerning the procession are made by the funeral director, pallbearers into the center aisle, the casket is swung around and the family follows out to the waiting hearse, the community of friends behind them.  The procession to the cemetery begins, slowly pulling away from the funeral home.   The committal at the cemetery is performed by the funeral director who first reads the 23rd psalm and then the words which will return Jim to the earth from which he came. The family has chosen not to lower the casket into the vault. It remains on the lowering device as family and friends place roses from the spray upon the casket, each person taking a moment to reflect and say goodbye.  The reception is being held at their home, located only 5 minutes from the cemetery which was chosen for this reason. It is close, familiar and always accessible even on an evening walk.  Lets look back at the choices the family made: Embalming, open casket, flowers, 2 visitations, traditional funeral service with an untraditional format, a video, personal choice of music for video and recession,  vault, no member of the clergy, family and friends as speakers who delivered prayers and the eulogy, burial in a local cemetery close to the family home, words of committal by the funeral director because the family feared they would breakdown in the committal service, and a reception at the family home. A funeral director embalmed Jim and casketed him, arranged the visitation room and later the chapel, prepared the video and ran the CD and other equipment, recorded the funeral service for the family, funeral home staff parked the cars and assisted with donation cards as well as finding a ride for several elderly people who wanted to attend the committal service.  All the choices were made with the guidance and insight of the funeral director working with the family. The family crafted the funeral ritual to reflect Jim’s life and to meet their needs. The funeral director and staff were there to assist them as they took their first steps as a bereaved family, to offer educated and insightful advice where necessary.  We can make great things happen –  every time a family walks through our doors!!    funeral industrykathy jackson Thu, 29 May 2008 12:55:00 GMT Funeral Industry: We Can Make Great Things Happen – Part 1 http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000257#00000257 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000257.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> As funeral professionals, we can make great things happen.  Not just once, which might be considered a fluke, but every time a family walks through the front door of the funeral home.  I am convinced this is true. The other thing I am convince d of, is that funeral directors are not salespeople.  Their role is to advise and share their knowledge and expertise about our deathways, not to sell merchandise.  The merchandise will sell itself. Funeral Industry: We Can Make Great Things Happen - Part 1 By: Kathy Jackson No one believes that funeral directors are magicians and can change the reality of death.  Death is a fact of life, which comes to each and every one of us. At some time or other, we are going to have to sit across from a funeral director to make arrangements for ourselves or for someone we care about.  For many people, the days which follow the death of a loved one are days which are lost to grief, which thankfully numbs the pain just enough to allow the bereaved to begin to make plans. Frequently, the first step to mending a broken heart is made with the help of a funeral professional.  Recently we had a family call the funeral home to inquire about pre-planning a funeral.  The caller was the son of the soon to be deceased.  This family’s saga begins five weeks before the phone call and concluded five days later at a windy cemetery.  There is a saying that you can never really understand until you have walked a mile in someone’s shoes. I would like to share the footsteps of this family, who we will call the Jones, with the hope of helping another family.  The initial call came on a Friday afternoon. It was clear the caller was seeking pre-planning information. Following a brief discussion, the funeral director suggested that he have the funeral home’s pre- arranger call them back immediately to set up an appointment. Because death was imminent, the family decided to come to the funeral home and meet with the funeral director. The wife and one son arrived around 4 p.m. Every family has a story. It is their story to share. Most want to share, if only because sharing some how lightens the load they are carrying.  Five weeks ago, open heart surgery was performed on an otherwise healthy 61 year old man.  Initially the recovery had gone well. One minute changed everyone’s life dramatically ~ the chest was opened, the heart massaged and for a short time, it seemed that this was just a blip on the recovery radar.  Sadly, this was the beginning of the end. When the family sat across from the funeral director, they had no idea that the end would be mere days away. Funeral directors have approximately 5 minutes to win a family’s confidence. The fact that a funeral director is a professional who deals with death crisis issues is very comforting to a family. They have come to the right place; they are working with a knowledgeable, trained and licensed professional.  Equally important, is the demeanor with which the funeral director carries him or herself in those first few minutes.  If they not only look but act the role of what the family believes is appropriate for a funeral director. Occasionally, a family is taken aback by the youthful appearance of some of the younger directors. A firm handshake, a few reassuring words and most family members realize the insight and knowledge held by even young funeral service professionals.  In the course of any arrangement, the funeral director asks every family for information used for vital statistics, age, occupation, birthplace and family history. This information often opens up a deep well of personal information which will enable the director to assist the family in personalizing their choices. As well, information is gathered concerning the family’s religious affiliation which turns the discussion towards the subject of the funeral or memorial, type of disposition for the body,  purchase of plots or niches, embalming or not, open or closed casket, music,  personal clergy or assistance in finding a clergy, flowers, readings.  The mantra of the funeral industry is 2 words  – personalization  and choice.  Funeral directors offer choices to families.  Some perceive this as selling choices. I prefer to think of it as laying out options, singly or in packages for individuals to choose according to what suits their needs best.   The Jones chose a traditional funeral with one day of visitation. They chose embalming because they wanted an open casket during the visitations. The committal would be at the graveside. The Jones family is nominally Anglican and shared the fact that their church, a small country church had fallen into disuse a number of years ago. As such, they had tried a number of other churches but were unable to find exactly what they were looking for.  They stopped attending church and discovered they were able to rekindle a sense of spirituality for themselves which the church no longer provided. They chose not to have a member of the clergy they did not previously know.  Yes, they would want a traditional funeral service followed by a burial. They chose not to have an organist to play at the funeral.  They chose to have a video and they chose to use several CDs.   When the Jones family left the funeral home late Friday afternoon, they did not realize how soon the arrangements they had begun to make would be put into play.  Two days later, on Sunday night, the funeral home was called.  At 10p.m. a funeral director returned their call, reassuring the family and arranging to meet with them on Monday morning.  A wise funeral director once shared with me, that families need to feel that by making that call that everything is being looked after and that they can rest easy. They and their loved one are in good hands.  Tomorrow, we help families make great things happen.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industrykathy jackson Tue, 27 May 2008 13:07:17 GMT Funeral Industry: The Changing Roles of the Funeral Director, the Clergy and the Bereaved http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000253#00000253 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000253.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Traditionally the clergy has played a vital role in the care of the dying, the dead and the bereaved. In recent times this role has been greatly reduced, and the clergy are no longer necessarily a visible presence at the bedside of the dying nor among the bereaved in the weeks and months that follow the death of a loved one. The care of the dead is currently shared by the funeral professional and the clergy, the former ministering to the body and the latter to the soul. Although they are rarely invited to join families to guide them in planning a funeral, the clergy continue to officiate at funerals, overseeing communal rituals despite the increasing number of congregationally unaffiliated. Families turn to the funeral professional for guidance and support in making the arrangements for the funeral and either the burial or cremation.   Funeral Industry: The Changing Roles of the Funeral Director, the Clergy and the Bereaved By: Kathy Jackson The literature suggests that an animosity or tension exists between the clergy and the funeral professionals who have seemingly usurped power over the dead and the bereaved. More recently, there has been a suggestion that funeral directors and the clergy are in collusion when dealing with bereaved families as a means of ensuring both are financially rewarded. These assumptions are not supported by evidence in a recent study of clergy done as a part of my ethnographic study. Clergy representing almost every Christian denomination were queried about their opinions on issues such as the role of the clergy in planning a funeral, funerals for the unaffiliated, follow-up with bereaved families, types of conflicts that might arise between funeral directors and clergy and the qualities they felt were important in a good funeral director.  The areas of conflict identified in the literature may or may not be relevant today. The church is typically described as being opposed to delay in burial, embalming and the restoration of the body, the showing of remains, expensive funerals, lavish floral displays, the extensive use of funeral homes and the planning and control of the funeral by the funeral director. Mitford (1963) in her book, The American Way of Death, identifies the conflict between the clergy and the funeral director as centering on money issues and the falsification of the appearance of the dead. In her subsequent book (1998), she declared that the funeral director had declared war on the unsuspecting clergy.  A further cause of tension according to Bowman was the continuous request for clergy to oversee funerals of the unaffiliated families which would lead to resentment of the entire industry (1959, 63).  Bowman(1959), Fulton (1961) and Mitford (1963) , and French (1985) give no examples of the clergy and funeral director greasing one another’s palm. In fact it is quite the opposite according to these authors. Criticisms center around two issues. First, dramatizing the body while ignoring spiritual matters of death and second, taking undo financial advantage of the bereaved.  The clergy who responded to my survey indicated that the working relationship between the funeral director and the clergy is excellent. Today, the role of the clergy and the funeral director are clearly defined, “funeral directors facilitate organizational structure .. clergy facilitate funeral service and ritual.”  Rather than concentric circles touching one another, the roles of the funeral director and the clergy should be thought of converging circles sharing the emotional care of the bereaved as well as the arrangements for the funeral service time and the organist in shared space. When considering the large number of unaffiliated families who are currently using funeral homes, many clergy find the time the funeral director spends with the family to be very useful in gathering information about the deceased, family dynamics as well as the direction the family may choose concerning the funeral service itself.  Although all the clergy indicated that they would be willing to accompany a family to the funeral home to make arrangements, not one could remember the last time they had done so (some clergy had been practicing for more than 30 years).  Many of the clergy saw their roles as that of a chaplain rather than as a pastor when working with unaffiliated families. It is incumbent upon them to be sensitive to the spirituality of the family but at the same time to act as the minister representing the church.  When asked to discern between funeral directors and the funeral industry, the clergy were open and frank about their concerns regarding spiraling costs of funerals, particularly the cost. Some felt a return to less ornate caskets and simpler funerals with minimal visitation or possibly visitation or direct cremation and a memorial service was the direction they would like to see the bereaved choose.   The last forty years has seen vast changes socially, economically, politically as well as spiritually. The church’s authority over life and death has also changed. As more people turned to funeral directors as the voice of authority in matters of death, new opportunities arose within the industry. In order to maintain their service level and also increase market value, funeral directors moved into new areas, building funeral homes which would allow them to offer more services, affording more choices than ever before. These choices included the use of funeral home chapels, more active participation in funeral rituals, the use of reception halls as well as options concerning disposal which now included cremation. It seemed that the power was shifting from the hands of the clergy into the hands of the funeral director.  Today, there has been a further shift removing power from both the clergy and the funeral director and placing it into the hands of the bereaved. Today it is the bereaved who determine the trend within the funeral industry as well as those apparent in the creation of new rituals. The funeral directors and clergy are lead by desires of a culture that demands value for its investment, and strives to create order, practicality and efficiency in all facets of their life.  As Walter (1995) and other researchers have suggested, this individualization to live their lives their way, has been extended not only to how they die but also the rituals which surround their deaths and the deaths of their loved ones. Today the bereaved have taken the reins of control by engaging the services of the funeral director to organize and administrate and by engaging the clergy to officiate the officiate the funeral rites according to their specific wishes.  Although families are taking more control in the formatting of the funeral service, they are most comfortable falling back into what they know from past experience and allow the clergy to be “the master of ceremonies”. Some but not all families are prepared to take an active role in the funeral service by reading prayers and poems, telling stories or doing the eulogy. Most families need guidance because they are at a loss as to how to construct a meaningful funeral service or how to create a new funeral ritual.  My survey of families who have used 7 funeral homes serving communities in 4 cities does not indicate that families wish to delegate car parking, ushering, setting up the chapel, or any other organizational aspect of the funeral nor do they wish to take over the role of the clergy or the celebrant and lead the funeral service. In a culture where we are more than happy to pay for even the simplest of services which we could do ourselves, I have no doubt that bereaved families are more than happy to pay for funeral services at a time when they are in need of emotional and spiritual support rather than tasks which will keep them busy in support of their grief therapy.  I respectfully suggest that families need to be encouraged to take part in funeral rituals to the best of their ability. The bereaved have many choices as they take the first steps as mourners walking through the valley of death.  Funeral professionals and the clergy by working together to provide a safe environment offer bereaved family members an opportunity to share in rituals which honor the deceased as a unique individual and to begin their own griefwork.   Our time with families is short, at best several days. The time the clergy spends with the family is in most instances markedly less.  Griefwork is not accomplished in hours or days, nor is it necessarily accomplished through mundane tasks. Griefwork is ongoing after the committal as day by day the physiological, psychological and spiritual repair is accomplished. As funeral professionals and as members of the clergy, our focus is on helping the bereaved take those first steps.    funeral industryfuneral director Fri, 23 May 2008 13:26:45 GMT Funeral Industry: The Role of the Funeral Director as Mediators for the Dead, Bereaved and Clergy http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000250#00000250 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000250.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left>   The role of the funeral director has changed over the last one hundred and fifty years.  Society has changed over the same period of time.  The first to work in the funeral industry were carpenters who built caskets. Only during the Civil War did embalming become a means of transporting the bodies of dead soldiers long distances so they could be buried at home.  As embalming became more accepted, those trained in the art went to the family home and performed the technique in the bathtub before laying out the deceased to be waked at home.  Times changed, parlors became too small and families moved great distances from one another. People moved from farms to towns and then on to cities. Each step of the way moved them a little farther from death having a part of their lives. Death moved from the home to the hospital, where the sights, sounds and smells could be hidden or at least disguised from sensitive family members and friends. Over time, funeral homes opened to accommodate families whose parlor was not large enough to be used for a wake.  Wakes at the “funeral home’ have continued although they have changed in format. Today, we often call the wake a visitation.  Times have changed and the funeral professional has changed along with, though often a few steps behind what their bereaved clients have demanded or felt was fashionable. (For more information on the history of the funeral industry I suggest reading Habenstein, R. W. and W.M. Lamers.  1977.  The History of American Funeral Directing.  Milwaukee: Bulfin Press. or Laderman, Gary.  1999.  Sacred Remains: American Attitudes Towards Death 1799 – 1883  New Haven: Yale University Press;  2003.  Rest in Peace: A Cultural History of Death and the Funeral Home in 20th  Century America.  Oxford: Oxford University Press.) We need to be clear about the role of the funeral director in contrast to the role of the clergy and the family. Each one is a specialist in their own area.  This is not peculiar to North America but is true of bereaved around the world, including places that we might consider to be quite primitive.  Robert Hertz identifies three key players, the body, the soul and the bereaved (Hertz 1960 translated).  Each one of these is dealt with by a ritual specialist. In North American terms, the body is dealt with by the funeral professional, the soul by the clergy and the bereaved by a combination of the funeral professional, clergy and other professionals.  The role of the funeral director and that of the clergy are complimentary roles. One deals with organization and the other deals with spiritual matters. In no culture does the bereaved assume the role of the specialist dealing with the body or the soul;  For the bereaved exist in a time outside of regular time, in liminal space.  For example, in Jewish law, the mourners do nothing but mourn, they are not responsible for any normal daily activities or business.  Even within the recent past, mourners in North America did not look after the care of the dead, the soul or themselves. Members of the community provided the food for the family,  the midwife came and washed and dressed the body and the clergy was responsible for the care of the bereaved and the soul of the deceased. It remains that way today despite the social and cultural changes which have occurred in the last 150 years.  (For more information please see Ariès, Philippe.  1981.  The Hour of Our Death.  Alfred A. Knopf: New York: New York.  Bloch, Maurice and J. Parry (eds).  1980.  Death and the Regeneration of Life.  Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Huntington, Richard and Peter Metcalf.  1991. Celebrations of Death: The Anthropology of Mortuary Ritual.  Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Sudnow,  David.  1967.  Passing On: The Social Organization of Dying.  Englewood:Prentice-Hall. and Van Gennep, A.  1960.  The Rites of Passage.  G.L. Caffee (trans.) London: Routledge and Keegan- Paul.) Funerals are about families and dignifying the loss of a loved one.  As such, a funeral is arranged by the family (although it is the executor who has the last word). Arranging a funeral includes the choice of embalming or not, type of disposal either cremation or burial, place for the final disposition of the body,  the type of casket desired,  the use of a vault (where a liner is not required). These arrangements are made with the funeral director.  For unaffiliated families, those who do not attend a church and have no contact with a member of the clergy, the funeral director functions as the mediator, the person who will match a family not only with the right denomination but also the right member of the clergy who will be able to reach out and assist as well as guide family members. Funeral directors also act as guides for many of the bereaved who are not aware of what is required or expected by law or what the religious traditions are.  Funeral directors are not clergy, the do not write the order of service for the family or the clergy.  Funeral directors negotiate times and places for funerals with the clergy and the family.  When family members meet with the clergy, they discuss the order of service, the choice of music, readings, insertion of poetry or outside readings, and the eulogy. Many family members are not comfortable or do not feel they are emotionally equipped to deliver the eulogy soon after the death.  Often the eulogy falls to the clergy or to a family friend but not to the funeral director.  The unaffiliated account for approximately 65-75% of all families which use the services of the funeral home ( For more information on the unaffiliated see Bibby, Reginald.  2002.  Restless Gods: The Renaissance of Religion in Canada. Toronto: Stoddard Publishing Company; Wuthnow, Robert.  1988.  The Restructuring of  American Religion: Society and Faith Since World War 2.  Princeton: Princeton University Press.  1993.  Christianity in the Twenty-first Century.  New York: Oxford University Press 1999.  After Heaven: Spirituality in America Since the 1950s. Berkley: University of California Press.)   Katheryn Garcies-Foley (2003) discusses why the unaffiliated are not more pro-active in the development of new funeral ritual. She identifies issues such as emotional trauma for those acting immediately after a death and lack of creativity for those who have time to prepare for a  memorial service at a later date.  In general, people are comfortable with what they know, what they have experienced at other funerals. They rely on the guidance of professionals such as the clergy and funeral director for suggestions. Sometimes, it is just easier to do what has been tried and tested and found successful along the way.  Family members in England where the next of kin do most of the paperwork and running around to register a death do not report that their grief experience was lessened any by having to look after the legal details of a death. In fact, some reported that they were weighted down and could not move forward emotionally while they were doing paperwork at the hospital and town hall registry (for more information see Hallam, Elizabeth, and Jennifer Hockey, Glennys Howarth.  1999. Beyond the Body: Death and Social Identity.  New York: Routledge and Bradbury, Mary.  1999.  Representations of Death: A Social Psychological Perspective.New York: Routledge) Families who are affiliated with the church often take their funerals to church and make use of the clergy and the ushers within the church. In a survey of 50 ministers representing almost every denomination of Christianity, not one clergy member complained that the funeral director was stepping into their role with the family. As well, most clergy members said they often found it better for families to come to the funeral home chapel because they are more comfortable there than in church. Apparently there are many adult children who are unaffiliated but whose parents maintain church ties.  If funerals are for the living, than it is the living the clergy are most concerned with. Catholic priests will do a funeral service outside the church but not offer a mass with communion.  More catholic allied families go to church where the service is pointed towards the soul rather than the bereaved.  Funeral directors discuss the choice of location with family members.  One minister which I interviewed said that he told families that the cost is the same whether it is done at church or at the funeral home. With that in mind, he said that he does not push for church services if a family does not suggest it.   The role of the family in preparing for a visitation is crucial, particularly when we are trying to personalize. Family members are relied upon for information about the deceased in the preparation of the death notice. As well, family members bring in artifacts which belong to the deceased, knitting, golf clubs, plants and garden gloves, a favored pet. Many family members have the technical savy to make dvd or video and are encouraged to use the high tech equipment available to them. Visitation rooms commonly have television screens, sound systems as well as picture boards. While some families are happy to personalize, other families prefer to keep things simple and to simply exchange stories and share hugs.  The role of family on the day of the funeral should not be as parking attendants. Most do not want to take on the role of being an usher in the chapel. Immediate family should be present to spend time with their friends and associates. Their role is to mourn. The role of the funeral home staff is to direct – that includes seating guests, arranging vehicles for the procession (if there is one), flagging vehicles with “funeral” signs. In general all the logistics of a funeral should be in the hands of someone who has done this before rather than the individual who is coming out for his first funeral.  Emotions run high on the day of a funeral and it is not a time when family members (strong or not) need to deal with the petty problems and issues that arise prior to, during the funeral or the committal. It is not an act of strength but rather an act of wisdom to allow the professional who is trained and can see beyond the moment, anticipating problems to oversee the funeral. I think most people would agree that the funeral service is the domain of the clergy.  When there is no clergy, family members rely on the funeral director for guidance at the beginning and the conclusion of the ritual process.   The issue of robber funeral directors who are scamming the public of preneed money is best left for another discussion about integrity, honesty, insight, selling techniques, and a closer look at who and how pre-need is both sold and monitored.  Best left for another discussion is the difference in cost between funeral homes as well as how cost can be justified by an individual home or a corporation. Not all funeral homes are alike.. then again, some cars cost more than other cars.  To be discussed again.  I feel for the public who are taken in by books such as Profits of Death, Coriolis and now  Rest in Peace.  Yes, there are places where changes need to be made, where they can be made very easily. Change needs to come from within the industry as well as from outside it, through consumer demand. That is how change is brought about.  Jessica Mitford brought changes that some argue were necessary to protect the unsuspecting public. Books which raise alarms and send consumers scurrying around doubting the ethics of funeral professionals are not particularly useful beyond putting money in the pocket of the author.  Before a family follows any directive, they need to be sure of they have correct information.  Embalming is not a method of disposal, it is a choice of a temporary preservative which is not required by law but which will enhance the look of the dead and prevent further deterioration during the interim period between death and disposal.  Disposal in North America remains by burial and by cremation although several states have offered permits for underwater burials and for resomation, which dissolves the body in a hot pressurized container (see American Funeral Director April 2008).  I suggest that rather than frightening consumers about the funeral industry, that we spend more time educating them about funeral rituals, laws concerning death and the choices which we can make available for them.     funeral industrykathyjacksondirector Thu, 22 May 2008 13:31:32 GMT Funeral Industry: Funeral Directors Will Go The Way of The Dinosaur - NOT http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000247#00000247 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000247.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> Imagine sitting at the head of the long table, looking at the faces of 15 PhDs who have tread this very path before, armed with questions. Not just I am curious but honest to goodness genuine questions about the funeral industry.  It would not be unreasonable to believe that most if not everyone had at some time been in the position of sitting across the arrangement table from a funeral director; had sat with someone, most likely a member of the clergy or a chaplain to plan a funeral or a memorial service, choosing favorite prayers, readings, poems, music and deciding who would say the eulogy;  looking through books of flower arrangements and deciding if roses would be nicer than carnations or maybe something a little more upbeat like sunflowers and irises.  Everyone sitting around the table has some personal knowledge about the funeral industry and now they wanted me to take them inside and answer, those questions “you were always afraid to ask your funeral director but really wanted to know.”   Funeral Industry: Funeral Directors Will Go The Way of The Dinosaur - NOT By: Kathy Jackson Most people in North America do not want to deal with their dead and are quite happy to hand them over to a trained professional. That is what makes the statement, “funeral directors will go the way of the dinosaur” even more amazing than not.  Let me tell you about the person who made the statement.  He is a PhD and has had some recent experience working with the funeral industry. I know this because he came into one of the funeral homes where I do my research while I was there. We smiled at one another, I offered my condolences and watched him being seated in the arrangement room with a funeral director.  An hour later, I saw him leave without having made any arrangements.  Fair enough, a shopper; you don’t get many but there is always one who wants to hunt for a bargain.  As a researcher, it matters not to me where the business is taken.  What I can tell you is that many academics prefer direct cremation and no service though I cannot tell you the reason for that choice.  Several days later I noticed an obituary for his mother, cremation was immediate, the memorial service to be held in the funeral home later that week.   “Funeral Directors will go the way of dinosaurs.  They will become redundant and as such, the industry will cease to exist” was how he began. After rambling on with his views for several minutes, I worked up the nerve to ask him if he had a question to ask me or if he was just sharing his views on caring for the dead. He rephrased his statement as a question and asked me to defend my research on that basis. Here is my answer.  Your mother passed away recently in a local nursing home. I am sorry for your loss. I was stunned to read in the newspaper that the arrangements were being handled by a local funeral home.  For someone who believes that funeral directors are redundant, I would like to lay out for you what you could have done.  First, you want to order a casket from an online site that has casket kits or stop by your local Costco and put one in the back of your mini-van.  Next you want to go to the nursing home and sign the documents which will now allow you to take your loved one from their care. Keep in mind that nursing homes expect a quick changeover and do not have morgues, so you have to arrive and remove your mother from her bed onto a stretcher as discreetly as possible so as not to bother the other patients.  Sign the papers and get her loaded into the van, possibly by placing her directly into the casket. You want to wash her and freshen her up a little, you say, before taking her to her final resting place.  How about a sponge bath in the van?  Hope you brought towels and sheets.  Your next stop is the coroner’s office because you want your mother cremated.  The coroner has to sign the paper work, did you remember to get the right papers from the crematorium last week? No, well out you go to get them.  Back to the doctors office and yes, this will cost you $100 and you will wait until he has time to come down and examine her in the back of your van.  Next stop is the town hall to register the death and yes, pay more money.  You are finally ready to drive out to the crematorium but alas, the hours have gone by and they are now closed so you have to sit with your mother all night in the van because you cannot leave a dead body just anywhere.  You decide to place a newspaper notice while you are sitting in the van, so you call the paper but they want a hard copy or at least an online copy which they will send back to you to spell check.  Of course they need to verify this is not a prank and wonder who they can contact, maybe the doctor or the hospital as you aren’t using a funeral home.  The night is long but morning comes and you drive out to the crematorium with your papers in hand so that you can finally leave the body.  No one comes out to help you immediately and you look around for something to put the casket on.. finally someone comes to assist you.  You are relieved to have the help because you cannot move the casket on your own.  At last, the task you started yesterday is almost complete. All that remains is to hang around for 3 or 4 hours until the cremation process has run its course. You are not the first on the list. You will come back for your mother in a ziplock in a cardboard box, try to remember the urn.     What was your alternative?  Well, it was the choice you made. You went to a funeral home, met with a director, made the arrangements to have your mother removed from the nursing home, washed, dressed and placed in a casket.  The paperwork was completed for you by the funeral director who contacted the coroner, the newspaper, the crematorium.  The body was taken to the crematorium and the ashes returned to you, tactfully in a velvet bag which covered the cardboard box holding the ziplock of ashes. How long did your meeting take you? One hour not one day.  It was simple and expedient and before you knew it, you had arranged the disposal, organized a memorial service and a reception without having to move from your comfortable seat in the arrangement room. Who made this happen for you?  A licensed funeral director, a professional who has the knowledge and expertise in matters pertaining to the dead.   Funeral directors are not going the way of the dinosaur.  Not today, not tomorrow. Why, because most people, just like the PhD who asked the question prefer to hand over their dead to a stranger who will compassionately take care and follow through with the arrangements for disposal, funeral or memorial service and the reception. Why? Because  it is easier and takes far less time than doing it ourselves and most of all because we still hold to the belief that dead things are “really nasty business”.   <a href="http://www.farnsworthgowns.com"><img title="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/hp/admin/farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" border="0" alt="farnsworthgowns375x75.gif" /></a>   funeral industryfuneral directorsfuneralkathy jackson Wed, 21 May 2008 13:27:01 GMT The Inquisition: Funeral Directors Will Go The Way of The Dinosaur http://www.connectingdirectors.com/members/connectdirectors/blog/VIEW+00000082+00000243#00000243 <img src="http://www.connectingdirectors.com/l1/connectdirectors/appdata/blog/00000243.jpg" border=0 vspace=5 hspace=5 align=left> The following blog is the first of many for our new Guest Blogger Kathy Jackson. I am very excited to have Kathy blogging with us. You have already seen a glimpse of the wonderful writing Kathy is capable of through her comments on many previous "Randy McCormick" blog posts. It is a privilege to bring you our newest guest blogger: Kathy Jackson.     The Inquisition: Funeral Directors Will Go The Way of The Dinosaur By: Kathy Jackson   Perhaps I should backup and explain a little about how that statement came to be shared with me.  I am a doctoral candidate at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.  I had been doing fieldwork in the funeral industry for nearly three years concurrently with my coursework.  As such I was required to write two sets of exams, the minor comprehensive exam which shows that I have depth and breadth in the area of death and the afterlife in the Western World and the major comprehensive exam which shows that I have an even greater depth and understanding of the literature which deals with my particular area of research, how we understand death in North America and the role of the funeral director as mediators for the dead, bereaved and clergy.  I am a part time PhD student, having a house to keep running and five children who now come and go, themselves in university and graduate programs.  After taking the required courses, learning an additional language to add to the two languages I had to learn for my Masters, written the exams and taken the course on how to do fieldwork, the time finally came to submit my proposal for my doctoral research.  It was a bit like closing the door after the horse has escaped.  Normally, fieldwork is only begun after the proposal is accepted. In my case, I had three years of fieldwork which gave me a lot of insight and experience concerning the funeral industry.  Defending a doctoral proposal is very much like trying to gain entry into the funeral industry to do research.  Everything is hidden away behind closed doors and written down in little books which are for use by candidates and professors but which are really not available to the outside world.  Breaking in (as they refer to getting a field placement in the academic literature) to the funeral industry was not easy. In fact, it was damn difficult and just as I maxed out in my frustration and was in the process of writing the worlds longest paper about rejection in the field, an Alderwood funeral home took a chance and gave me a home base. My home base opened up 7 other funeral homes which were supervised by the one Regional Manager. Suddenly it seemed that everyone wanted to get in on my project and I had offers to go on fieldtrips to see and do more than I ever anticipated.  This is quite similar to breaking in to a graduate school program, just when you think it is game over, along comes the perfect offer and you are in. I have come to think of this initial defense of my